tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91956882985322230222023-11-16T03:10:32.698-08:00Mindful CreationWe empower people to enhance meaningful connection through mindful change.Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.comBlogger1722125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-19710435380672392042020-11-13T18:07:00.005-08:002020-11-13T18:07:20.829-08:00Why Personal Space Is A Good Thing in Marriage<p>Over the last six or so months, many couples have experienced the disappearance of space. We used to have business trips, gym sessions, outings with friends, and all sorts of other activities that provided the kind of physical space and separation needed in a <a href="https://www.mindful.org/category/health/relationships/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">healthy relationship</a>. Now, because of <a href="https://www.mindful.org/being-gentle-with-your-feelings-in-lockdown/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">lockdowns</a>, quarantines, and social distancing measures, most couples are stuck at home together, all day, every day.</p>
<p>But that’s only part of the problem. We are also experiencing the disappearance of mental space. This form of space is less tangible but perhaps even more significant. It’s space from screaming children, your partner’s <a href="https://www.mindful.org/zoom-exhaustion-is-real-here-are-six-ways-to-find-balance-and-stay-connected/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">virtual meetings</a>, and other distractions. It’s the space that allows your mind to rest and open up to new and creative possibilities.</p>
<p>The loss of physical and mental space is a problem for many reasons. And yet, it’s particularly problematic in marriage because space is essential for <a href="https://www.mindful.org/the-science-of-staying-in-love/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">love and intimacy</a>. We found this again and again when interviewing over one hundred people for our forthcoming book. Couples told us that, with physical and mental space, they experienced a heightened sense of love, connection, and intimacy. Without space, they experienced the opposite: more conflict, resentment, and stress. Space, it turns out, is like <a href="https://www.mindful.org/when-mindful-awareness-meets-sexual-desire/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">rocket fuel for desire</a> and love.</p>
<p>So how can we create space in marriage when we’re stuck at home together? </p>
<h2>The Power of Emotional Space in Marriage</h2>
<h3>1. Create Physical Space</h3>
<p>The new normal of pandemic life limits our ability to do this. But it’s still possible. You can create physical space by making an intentional effort <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-walking-meditation-to-meet-uncertainty-with-compassion/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">to go for a walk</a> each day alone or by reading <a href="https://www.mindful.org/4-books-were-reading-to-replenish-our-energy/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">your favorite book</a> outside with headphones on. Even if it’s only for 30 minutes or an hour, giving yourself space away from your partner leaves you refreshed, excited to come back, and more open for connection when you return.</p>
<h3>2. Create Mental Space</h3>
<p>One of the key insights from the <a href="https://www.mindful.org/how-to-practice-mindfulness/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">mindfulness practice</a> is this: your experience of life is a reflection of your mind. If you live with a claustrophobic mind, churning through endless streams of thought and digital distractions, all of life can feel like you’re crammed in a packed subway car. The world begins to reflect your cramped mind. If you cultivate a more open mind, however, this expansion of mental space changes everything. It makes life feel slower and more manageable, regardless of your external circumstances. That’s the power of creating space around your thoughts.</p>
<p>To get more mental space, you can use <a href="https://www.mindful.org/take-a-mindful-moment-5-simple-practices-for-daily-life/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">daily meditation</a>, <a href="https://www.mindful.org/meditation/mindfulness-getting-started/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">mindfulness</a>, or <a href="https://www.mindful.org/4-yoga-stretches-for-a-good-nights-sleep/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">yoga practice</a>s. You can also build more mental space in less formal ways. Lie down in the grass for 10 minutes and gaze at the sky. Wander around your neighborhood while paying close attention to the sound of the birds.</p>
<p>The more you do this, the more you may notice that the space you crave most in these challenging times isn’t physical. It’s this subtle space in the mind—a kind of space that allows you to be connected, engaged, and attracted to your partner.</p>
<h2 class="wp-block-mindful-section-header heading heading--section heading--left has-black-text"><span>read more</span></h2>
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<p class="posts__excerpt">When things don’t go according to plan it can be difficult to resist the urge to blame. Nate Klemp and Kaley Klemp offer two ways to shift from blame to accountability when emotions are running high. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/why-playing-the-blame-game-in-your-relationship-doesnt-work/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/know-youve-married-wrong-person/">How to Know if You’ve Married the Wrong Person</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">We all marry people for reasons that don’t really pan out over the long haul — and that’s ok. Christine Carter provides three ways to embrace the reality of an imperfect partner. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/know-youve-married-wrong-person/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
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<li class="posts__author">Christine Carter</li>
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<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org/why-personal-space-is-a-good-thing-in-marriage/">Why Personal Space Is A Good Thing in Marriage</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org">Mindful</a>.</p>
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Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-9753318163741041202020-11-13T18:07:00.003-08:002020-11-13T18:07:19.670-08:00Mindfulness Can Empower Kids and Teens<p>Adam Avin, now 16, became passionate about teaching mindfulness and social-emotional learning skills when he was just nine years old. The Florida resident created a cartoon dog as a mascot, inventing songs, games, and other fun ways to teach these capabilities to more kids—and that was only the beginning. In this TED talk from 2019, Avin shares his work on <a href="https://www.mindful.org/point-of-view-should-we-teach-mindfulness-in-public-schools/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">getting mindfulness into schools</a>, and his guiding principle that learning mindfulness can empower children and teenagers to own their power and make a big difference in the world.</p>
<h2>Watch the video:</h2>
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<div class="wp-block-embed__wrapper"><iframe title="Mindfulness in Education to Lower Stress and Violence | Adam Avin | TEDxYouth@KC" width="500" height="281" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/2r6TWTqr8FM?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div>
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<p><em>Abbreviated transcript:</em></p>
<h2>Think Well to Be Well</h2>
<p>When I was young, we would visit my great-grandparents once a week. I’d usually sit on the living room floor with toys, but sometimes I would just sit and talk with my great-grandpa Jack.</p>
<p>My great-grandpa was a very mindful person, a yogi at heart, even though he didn’t do any yoga. He taught me all of his positive mantras, like “Think well to be well.” He explained the mind can be a healer or a killer, that the mind can control the body. As a reminder to be kind to others, he’d say “Smile, and the world will smile with you,” and that kindness would come back to you.</p>
<p>He also talked a lot about <a href="https://www.mindful.org/an-introduction-to-mindful-gratitude/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">gratitude</a> and would encourage me to smile and say, “Thank you, Grandpa.” He believed that a positive attitude was one of the most important things in life. Once he wanted to help a woman find her lost car in a mall parking lot. She was super upset and crying, and had been walking in circles for an hour in the sun. He just wanted to cheer her up. So he said something funny, and they started laughing and then they couldn’t stop. Everyone around them started laughing too, but no one knew why. </p>
<p>Grandpa knew what scientists have since proven: that smiles are catchy and healing, even if we don’t feel like it. If we smile, our bodies get the signal from our brains and it becomes true. If we have <a href="https://www.mindful.org/self-compassion-can-help-teens-de-stress/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">compassion for ourselves</a>, we have compassion for others. It’s like a chain reaction. A smile is a road to peace, and something that can change the world. My great-grandpa passed away years ago, but his lesson stuck with me.</p>
<p>I honor him by teaching his mindset to other kids. I believe that the key to <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-meditation-on-violence/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">ending violence</a> is teaching kids when they’re young to be mindful and deal with emotions and stress. By teaching coping tools to kids today, we may prevent another suicide or a school shooting in the future. That’s why I created the Wuf Shanti Children’s Wellness Foundation.</p>
<h2>A Pup with a Purpose </h2>
<p>Wuf Shanti is a dog character that teaches mindfulness and social-emotional learning through fun and games, and promotes health, wellness, peace, and positivity. In fact, <em>shanti</em> means peace. We teach kids ages 3 to 10 years old relaxation and happiness techniques, including breathing exercises, mindful movements, positive thinking, and how to interact with others.</p>
<p>All of this is supported by science, which shows that mindfulness, <a href="https://www.mindful.org/social-emotional-skills-can-fit-school-curricula/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">social-emotional learning</a>, yoga, and meditation can help reduce illness, increase focus, help kids do better both academically and athletically. And when you practice these things on a daily basis, they really do help with your mental and your physical health.</p>
<p>When I interviewed pediatrician Dr. Zhung Vo, he told me there’s a lot of science behind mindfulness. We can see how it affects our body, our physiology, our blood pressure, the way our brain functions. We can see how it affects our own breathing or muscle tension or heart rate. This sounds a lot like grandpa’s “think well to be well” mantra that became Wuf Shanti’s main message as well.</p>
<h2>Teaching Mindfulness to Children</h2>
<p>As Wuf Shanti, I traveled to schools and children’s hospitals to share our curriculum with kids. These hospital visits may have been the most emotional part for me. When Wuf would walk into the hospitals and see the kids with cancer, many of them were brought from treatment or hooked up to tubes. They’d all forget that for a few minutes, and would run up to us to hug them or dance or give a high five. </p>
<p>But the parents’ reactions were different. They would cry with the joy of seeing their kids happy and smiling. I felt sad seeing them like this, but happy how my being there was helping their lives, even for just a few minutes. </p>
<h2>Wuf Grows Up</h2>
<p>In the five years since we started Wuf Shanti, we’ve produced seven books, a free mobile app, signature games, like our gratitude and laughing games, and over a hundred videos, which run on local PBS stations, in schools and in children’s hospitals nationally. I also wrote the Wuf Shanti songs, working with my dad who also scored the music: </p>
<p>“A smile is a gift that makes you happy and free and makes the world a nicer place to be.<br />
And if you smile to brighten everyone’s day, a smile will come back to you the same way.”</p>
<p>Even my little sister and her friends haven’t guessed yet that the voice singing in the Wuf Shanti songs is me, before my voice changed! I can’t sing it, or fit into the costume, anymore—we have to get other people to do it now—but neither my sister or her friends have ever looked around the room and said, “Where’s Adam?” not realizing that Wuf and I are never in the same place at the same time.</p>
<p>We know that Wuf Shanti videos, books, and the mobile app work to get our message out to kids in a way they can understand, because I first tested them on my sister and her friends who had just turned four at the time, and they enjoyed playing with the app while still learning basic life skills. Once my sister was crying and I told her that she had a choice to make: that she could continue to cry about whatever it was that she wanted, or she could choose to be happy for what she does have. And about five minutes later, I overheard her calming herself down by repeating “Think well, be well,” and “Peace begins with me,” while tapping her fingers to her thumb, which is one of the exercises that Wuf teaches. You don’t realize how much of an impact you’ve made until you’ve witnessed a five-year-old control her own temper tantrum and bring positivity and gratitude back into her life to keep her emotions under control.</p>
<p>It’s so important to teach kids the <a href="https://www.mindful.org/how-neuroscience-can-help-your-kid-make-good-choices/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">tools to stay healthy</a> physically and mentally, to help them deal with stress and emotions in productive ways. So they can grow up to be less depressed and anxious teens and happier, peace solving, content adults. Anxiety, depression, bullying, anger, suicide, and homicide have doubled among kids and teens. In the past few years, suicide is the number two cause of death among minors. <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/20/health/teenage-depression-statistics.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Seventy percent of teens</a>, according to the <em>New York Times</em>, say mental health issues are the number one problem they face. Why is this? Is it because of social media, academic pressure, these scary events like school shootings? Because adults aren’t modeling the behavior? Maybe all of it. Adults should be making mental health a priority. And if they won’t, we have to, because cyber bullying is not okay. And killing people in schools, the grocery store, nightclubs, places of worship, or yoga studios must not become the norm.</p>
<h2>Making a Difference </h2>
<p>So what made me think that as a kid, I could do something? Nobody ever told me I couldn’t. If you believe in something, stand up, make yourself heard! We have to use our voice to make the world a better place to live in. If not us, then who? Look around. The world needs us right now. So I’m doing what I can to use my voice to make the world a better place, and to get Wuf Shanti’s message out to kids and into schools and hospitals.</p>
<p>Sure, I’ve been sad before, been anxious, been angry. But these mindful and social-emotional learning techniques have helped me have a purpose. Something positive to focus on has helped me, too. And I believe that these tools can help others. We need to reach as many <a href="https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-for-kids/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">kids, parents</a>, <a href="https://www.mindful.org/us-doctors-are-turning-to-mindfulness-to-help-heal-healthcare/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">healthcare practitioners</a>, even <a href="https://www.mindful.org/the-mindful-politician-why-tim-ryan-is-promoting-mindfulness-in-washington/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">government leaders</a> as possible. So we can teach about mental health education and stopping the violence and stop the next kid from hurting himself, herself, or someone else. </p>
<p>It all starts with mindfulness and social-emotional learning. Some people think mindfulness is just all about deep breathing. We all know that breathing can’t change the world, right? But we all know that breathing is important. You need to breathe to live. Science has shown that if you breathe right, it can add two years of your life. For example, something as simple as breathing in for a count of four, holding it for a count of four and releasing it for a count of four. As you breathe in, you’ll feel calmer.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-schools-can-provide-lifeline-teens/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Teens can do this</a> before a test and no one would even know they’re doing it, but mindfulness isn’t only about breathing. Mindfulness is about <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-two-minute-mindfulness-practice-to-unhijack-your-attention/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">paying attention to what’s happening now</a>, instead of focusing on yesterday, or tomorrow. Focusing on something other than the negative thoughts going on in our head, and if our mind wanders, learning how to bring it back. </p>
<h2>Living Mindfully, Every Day </h2>
<p>We can practice mindfulness by listening to a sound in the music that we like, like the drum beat. There are also mindful art activities or self-reflection activities. I like to listen to music while I’m golfing. It’s like meditation. It helps me find peace, which then spreads to my parents, my teachers and friends. Remember, it’s contagious. You have more influence than you know. But it takes practice to live mindfully so that when stressful things happen, and they will, you already have the tools to deal with it. Even practicing for just five minutes a day can help. </p>
<p>So if we can reach kids while they’re in school, they’ll be better prepared to face all the ups and downs in life. Social-emotional learning can help, too. It’s about coping with your emotions, self-awareness, self-regulation, self-compassion, and resilience, all of which are so empowering because no one controls them other than you. It’s also about communication, interacting with others and collaboration. </p>
<a href="" class="wp-block-mindful-read-more list-articles__more">Read More</a>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/watching-trains-a-calming-breath-practice-for-kids/">Watching Trains: A Calming Breath Practice for Kids</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Join author Susan B. Katz in a playful practice that helps children to focus on their breath, while their thoughts zoom on by. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/watching-trains-a-calming-breath-practice-for-kids/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Susan B. Katz</li>
<li class="posts__date">October 26, 2020</li>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/teaching-mindfulness-to-children-and-teens/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/Teaching-mindfulness-to-children-and-teens.jpg?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a></header>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/teaching-mindfulness-to-children-and-teens/">Teaching Mindfulness to Children and Teens</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Mindfulness is increasingly taking its place alongside math and social studies. Here’s the latest on mindfulness for kids and teens. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/teaching-mindfulness-to-children-and-teens/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Mindful Staff</li>
<li class="posts__date">October 20, 2020</li>
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<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-can-empower-kids-and-teens/">Mindfulness Can Empower Kids and Teens</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org">Mindful</a>.</p>
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Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-32164949080231702032020-11-13T18:07:00.001-08:002020-11-13T18:07:18.420-08:00“Play a Greater Part” – Bodhisattva for Our Times<hr class="wp-block-separator" />
<p>“Play a Greater Part” – Bodhisattva for Our Times [REDUX] – During scary and uncertain times, the habitual reflex is to try to find ground by creating stories about what’s happening and hardening into us-them blame. This only perpetuates the aggression and violence that is so prevalent in our societies. This talk is a reflection on how we as awakening bodhisattvas can evolve our consciousness in a way that serves authentic societal healing and transformation (a favorite from the archives).</p>
<blockquote class="wp-block-quote">
<p>“Though I do not expect a plant to spring up where no seed has been, I have great faith in a seed. Convince me you have a seed there, and I am prepared to expect wonders.” ~ Thoreau</p>
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<div class="wp-block-embed__wrapper"><iframe title="“Play a Greater Part”: Bodhisattva for Our Times (Part 2), with Tara Brach [redux]" width="1024" height="576" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/5pGf679C6Lc?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div>
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<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.tarabrach.com/play-greater-bodhisattva-redux/">“Play a Greater Part” – Bodhisattva for Our Times</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.tarabrach.com">Tara Brach</a>.</p>
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from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8196908 https://www.tarabrach.com/play-greater-bodhisattva-redux/<br />
Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-91483132679992811412020-11-12T14:07:00.001-08:002020-11-12T14:07:38.110-08:00Meditation: Vipassana – Opening Our Hearts to Life as It Is (20 min.)<hr class="wp-block-separator" />
<p>This meditation awakens the senses with a mindful scanning of the body, establishes an anchor for presence, and invites us to arrive again and again, deepening the pathway home. When difficult or intense experience arises, the practice is to learn to open to what is here with a clear, allowing and kind attention (a favorite from the archives).</p>
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<p>“…widen your heart and mind so you sense your hand is on the heart of the world. Sensing whatever prayer for the world most resonates at this moment and offering it…”</p>
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<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-opening-hearts-life/">Meditation: Vipassana – Opening Our Hearts to Life as It Is (20 min.)</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.tarabrach.com">Tara Brach</a>.</p>
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from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8196908 https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-opening-hearts-life/<br />
Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-31254948830696947112020-11-12T13:09:00.001-08:002020-11-12T13:09:47.342-08:00Meditation: Vipassana – Opening Our Hearts to Life as It Is (20 min.)<hr class="wp-block-separator" />
<p>This meditation awakens the senses with a mindful scanning of the body, establishes an anchor for presence, and invites us to arrive again and again, deepening the pathway home. When difficult or intense experience arises, the practice is to learn to open to what is here with a clear, allowing and kind attention (a favorite from the archives).</p>
<blockquote class="wp-block-quote">
<p>“…widen your heart and mind so you sense your hand is on the heart of the world. Sensing whatever prayer for the world most resonates at this moment and offering it…”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-opening-hearts-life/">Meditation: Vipassana – Opening Our Hearts to Life as It Is (20 min.)</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.tarabrach.com">Tara Brach</a>.</p>
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from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8196908 https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-opening-hearts-life/<br />
Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-18250662389592234632020-11-11T19:07:00.001-08:002020-11-11T19:07:17.341-08:008 Science-Backed Tips to Sleep Better at Night<p>Establishing a routine that recognizes the body’s natural response to light and dark can help keep your circadian rhythms in sync. Here are some expert-recommended strategies to move toward optimal circadian health.</p>
<h3>1. Stick to a Sleep/Wake Schedule</h3>
<p>Try to maintain a consistent sleepwake cycle (and thus a consistent dark-light cycle) by going to sleep and getting up at the same time every day. Try not to deviate more than an hour on weekdays, and more than two hours on weekends.</p>
<h3>2. Consider the Quality of Light</h3>
<p>Get as much daylight exposure as possible during the daytime. If natural light is not available, you can use bright, blue-enriched white light bulbs indoors. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/how-to-get-quality-sleep-using-mindfulness/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Sleep</a> in the dark, at night, or wear an eye mask to block light from reaching the eyes.</p>
<h3>3. Create Natural Wind-Down Lighting Between Dusk and Dark</h3>
<p>Just as the sun goes down, you can mimic that fading light by minimizing bright light and moving toward a warmer orange light, which promotes sleep, ideally three hours before going to bed.</p>
<h3>4. Pay Attention to Your Nighttime Light</h3>
<p>Any light tells the brain it’s daytime, encouraging alertness, and suppresses melatonin, the hormone that tells the brain that it’s night. If needed, use a dim red-orange night light in the hall or bathroom.</p>
<h3>5. Sleep at Night</h3>
<p>Focus on getting all the <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-mindfulness-practice-for-better-sleep/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">sleep</a> you need at night, so you don’t need a nap during the day. If you need to nap, make it short—no more than 20 minutes.</p>
<h3>6. Eat Smarter</h3>
<p>Avoid eating three hours before bedtime. Ideally, you want to consume more of your calories in the daytime when your metabolism is most active.</p>
<h3>7. Practice Screen Hygiene</h3>
<p>Dim the lights and don’t use screens within two hours of bedtime. The blue light emitted from TV, tablets, phones, and computers can have a delayed, negative effect on your sleep, even with the use of apps or eyeglasses that block blue light.</p>
<h3>8. Establish a Wind-Down Routine</h3>
<p>Create a transition time that separates day from night. Do something relaxing before bed, such as <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-gentle-practice-to-wind-down-before-bed-with-sara-ivanhoe/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">breathing exercises or yoga</a>. This is a good way to calm the mind and body.</p>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/why-cant-i-sleep-4-tips-for-better-rest/">Why Can’t I Sleep? 4 Tips for Better Rest</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Getting back to sleep in the middle of the night is no small feat. In this short video, Michelle Maldonado offers four ways to help make going to bed—and staying asleep—easier. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/why-cant-i-sleep-4-tips-for-better-rest/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
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<li class="posts__author">Michelle Maldonado</li>
<li class="posts__date">October 12, 2020</li>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/the-ultimate-guide-to-mindfulness-for-sleep/">The Ultimate Guide to Mindfulness for Sleep</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Sufficient sleep heals our bodies and minds, but for many reasons sleep doesn’t always come easily. Mindfulness practices and habits can help us fall asleep and stay asleep. Consult our guide to find tips for meditation, movement, and mindfulness practices to ease into the best sleep ever. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/the-ultimate-guide-to-mindfulness-for-sleep/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
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<li class="posts__author">Mindful Staff</li>
<li class="posts__date">September 30, 2020</li>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-gentle-practice-to-wind-down-before-bed-with-sara-ivanhoe/">A Gentle Practice to Wind Down Before Bed with Sara Ivanhoe</a> <img src="/assets/img/key.svg" class="icon icon-key" alt="" /></h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Wired at bedtime? Calm your whole body with this set of soothing breathwork and stretches from Sara Ivanhoe. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-gentle-practice-to-wind-down-before-bed-with-sara-ivanhoe/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
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<li class="posts__author">Sara Ivanhoe</li>
<li class="posts__date">September 29, 2020</li>
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<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org/8-science-backed-tips-to-sleep-better-at-night/">8 Science-Backed Tips to Sleep Better at Night</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org">Mindful</a>.</p>
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from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8196908 https://www.mindful.org/8-science-backed-tips-to-sleep-better-at-night/<br />
Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-62594112011588494032020-11-10T21:07:00.001-08:002020-11-10T21:07:42.888-08:00A Loving-Kindness Meditation to Expand Your Perspective<p>In a time of crisis and uncertainty, compassion for <em>everyone</em> may feel even more difficult than usual. This doesn’t mean we should not engage in activism and assertively take care of ourselves, while practicing compassion. But since anger and conflict always generate more anger and conflict in the world, it’s beneficial to remind ourselves of other people’s perspectives along the way. </p>
<p>Any mindfulness practice includes compassion. We see our own challenges (like our utter inability to focus our mind where we want for long) with care and patience, instead of self-recrimination and frustration. And then, aiming to see with unbiased clarity how the world around us works, we can recognize that even the people we find difficult face many of the same, human challenges, and crave happiness and health in their own ways.</p>
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<p>Loving-kindness practice means wishing someone well, like a friend; compassion means seeing their suffering and wishing them free of it.</p>
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<p><a href="https://www.mindful.org/?s=loving-kindness" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Loving-kindness</a> practice means wishing someone well, like a friend; <a href="https://www.mindful.org/?s=compassion" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">compassion</a> means seeing their suffering and wishing them free of it. These wishes aren’t meant to be forced, but to act as signposts for our best intentions. In other words, we cultivate them patiently, even if we don’t always quite get there. As Joseph Goldstein says, even knowing we will likely fall short of those intentions pretty often, how many people even try to live that way?</p>
<p>Traditionally, <a href="https://www.mindful.org/this-loving-kindness-meditation-is-a-radical-act-of-love/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">loving-kindness</a> practice involves bringing various groups of people to mind and wishing them the same wishes we would for ourselves. The version that follows, as shown to me by Gina Sharpe, cofounder of New York Insight Meditation Center, is subtly different in structure: It guides us to develop a perspective of loving-kindness more gradually. With practice, we can take care of the world, take care of ourselves, and also stay in touch with the fact that all beings everywhere are driven by the same core wishes in life. </p>
<h2>A Guided Loving-Kindness Practice for Difficult Times</h2>
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<h3 class="podcast__heading">A 17-Minute Loving-Kindness Meditation</h3>
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<p><strong>1. Begin this practice by finding a comfortable and upright position.</strong> See if you can find a posture that portrays both dignity and strength, but let go of striving or tightness.</p>
<p><strong>2. As you begin, you can focus initially on the feeling of each breath</strong>, noticing if you’re caught up in thoughts or emotions with a sense of kindness and patience. Then, come back to the breath.</p>
<p><strong>3. Loving-kindness practice typically focuses on phrases that remind us of our best intentions.</strong> We’re not forcing ourselves to feel anything in particular or striving to change what we actually feel. So bring to mind a person, a child, or even an animal or a pet for whom you have unambiguous feelings. Picturing this other person or being, shift your awareness to <a href="https://www.mindful.org/find-loving-kindness-phrases/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">a series of phrases</a> that capture your wish that this person be free of suffering. That this person live a life of ease. Those phrases are often summarized as <em>may you feel happy, may you feel healthy</em>, <em>may you feel safe, and may you live your life with ease.</em></p>
<p><strong>4. There may be nothing you can actually do to change that person or being’s experience</strong> right now, but with an open heart, continue wishing them well.</p>
<p>May you be happy,</p>
<p>May you be healthy,</p>
<p>May you feel safe,</p>
<p>And may you live your life with ease.</p>
<p><strong>5. And now, shifting your awareness to yourself, recognize how much stress you’re under</strong>, how much may feel out of your control right now, and also how much criticism we have for ourselves. Quite often, we may judge ourselves differently than the people we most care for. And see if you can bring the same care you did for the other child or being, or pet, or whoever came to mind for yourself right now—you deserve the same. </p>
<p>May I feel happy,</p>
<p>May I feel healthy,</p>
<p>May I feel safe,</p>
<p>May I live my life with ease.</p>
<p>Not wishing yourself better than anyone else in your life, but also not wishing yourself less. And if it feels like that’s easy right now, continuing on with wishes for yourself. </p>
<p><strong>6. And then, if you like, instead bring to mind a good friend.</strong> Again, they could be anywhere in the world. There may be nothing literally you can do for them right now. But you can offer them the same wishes you just wished for yourself, wherever you are. </p>
<p>May you be happy,</p>
<p>May you be healthy,</p>
<p>May you feel safe,</p>
<p>And may you live your life with ease.</p>
<p><strong>7. You can move your awareness next to someone we often refer to as a stranger or a neutral person.</strong> Somebody who works in your neighborhood or across town, or someone you might see once in a while. Bring that person, that being, to mind, and see if you can offer them the same wishes you did for a friend. Recognizing, whoever this person is, they have their own struggles. They have their own fears, their own need for safety, for food, for ease. So picturing the stranger, offer them the same well-wishes: </p>
<p>May you be happy, </p>
<p>May you be healthy</p>
<p>May you feel safe,</p>
<p>And may you live your life with ease.</p>
<p><strong>8. Now, bring to mind a difficult person.</strong> It’s not the <em>most</em> difficult person that comes to mind for you, but someone challenging—you may not see eye to eye. Noting those wishes you had just now for someone you hardly know at all, see if you can wish the same for this challenging person. It doesn’t mean condoning anything they’ve done. It doesn’t mean you won’t take proactive action to take care of what needs to get taken care of in the world. But as you do, recognize that all beings need to and have the drive to be free of suffering. </p>
<p>May you be happy,</p>
<p>May you be healthy,</p>
<p>May you feel safe, </p>
<p>May you live your life with ease.</p>
<p><strong>9. Often for this part of the practice, it may be easier to include yourself at the same time: </strong></p>
<p>May we both be happy, </p>
<p>May we both be healthy,</p>
<p>May we we both feel safe,</p>
<p>And may we both live our lives with ease.</p>
<p>If ever this part of the practice becomes <a href="https://www.mindful.org/tara-brach-rain-mindfulness-practice/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">overwhelming</a> or too stressful, it’s okay to come back to the breath or wishes for yourself.</p>
<p><strong>10. For the last two minutes, expand your awareness out to all beings everywhere</strong>: to ourselves, to our friends and family, to strangers, to difficult people.</p>
<p>May all beings everywhere be happy, </p>
<p>May all beings everywhere be healthy,</p>
<p>May all beings everywhere feels safe,</p>
<p>And may all beings everywhere live their lives with ease.</p>
<p><strong>11. And when you’re ready, you can open your eyes if they’ve been closed.</strong> Take a moment and then, with a sense of intention, choose when to get up and continue on with the rest of your day.</p>
<h2 class="wp-block-mindful-section-header heading heading--section heading--left has-black-text"><span>read more</span></h2>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-walking-meditation-to-meet-uncertainty-with-compassion/">A Guided Walking Meditation to Meet Uncertainty with Compassion</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">When we’re facing the unknown, our thoughts and emotions often go into overdrive and we lose sight of being kind to ourselves. Mark Bertin reminds us that we are not alone and offers a practice to work with uncertainty. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-walking-meditation-to-meet-uncertainty-with-compassion/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
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<li class="posts__author">Mark Bertin</li>
<li class="posts__date">November 2, 2020</li>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-15-minute-meditation-for-patience-and-resolve/">A 15-Minute Meditation for Patience and Resolve</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Developing a sense of equanimity is difficult—even in the best of times. This guided meditation from Mark Bertin offers a quiet moment to be patient with ourselves as we navigate discomfort and uncertainty together. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-15-minute-meditation-for-patience-and-resolve/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
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<li class="posts__author">Mark Bertin</li>
<li class="posts__date">October 27, 2020</li>
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<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org/a-loving-kindness-meditation-to-expand-your-perspective/">A Loving-Kindness Meditation to Expand Your Perspective</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org">Mindful</a>.</p>
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from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8196908 https://www.mindful.org/a-loving-kindness-meditation-to-expand-your-perspective/<br />
Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-3394753830937016692020-11-06T22:08:00.001-08:002020-11-06T22:08:29.517-08:00Our Refuge of Heartspace<hr class="wp-block-separator" />
<p>Amidst the great emotional reactivity of our times, this talk looks at: How do we hold this? What will allow us to respond wisely to our hurting world? How can we widen the circles of compassion? Our time includes a talk, sharing of responses to several inquiries and a period of question/response.</p>
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<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.tarabrach.com/refuge-heartspace/">Our Refuge of Heartspace</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.tarabrach.com">Tara Brach</a>.</p>
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from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8196908 https://www.tarabrach.com/refuge-heartspace/<br />
Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-90878880232473207532020-11-06T14:07:00.001-08:002020-11-06T14:07:37.005-08:00Guided Meditation: A Moment of Loving-Kindness<p>We can easily get trapped in our own emotions and narratives, let alone the ways we can encounter obstacles in society. Here, <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/author/jeneejohnson/" target="_blank">Jenée Johnson</a> leads a loving-kindness practice, adapted from the work of Dr. Shelly Harrell, that focuses on <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/why-meditation-is-a-practice-of-liberation/" target="_blank">liberation</a>. Dr. Harrell is a psychologist and a mindfulness teacher. And she has soul-centered phrases for loving-kindness meditation.</p>
<h2>A Guided Loving-Kindness Practice</h2>
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<p>1. <strong>Invite your body to relax</strong>, rolling back your shoulders. Open up your heart space. And allow your breath with every inhale to move through the heart. And every exhale to move back to the heart. I have recently learned that the heart actually sends more messages to the brain and the brain to the heart.</p>
<p>2. <strong>Drop your gaze or close your eyes, inviting the body to relax.</strong> Please <a href="https://www.mindful.org/find-loving-kindness-phrases/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">let these phrases wash over you</a>, replenishing, refreshing, and nourishing your soul. May you live in truth and be free. May the light of truth open your eyes and liberate your soul to express its highest calling. May you hear your inner wisdom voice and discern its messages from the illusions, projections, hype, and lies.</p>
<p>3. <strong>May any imprisoned part of your being be liberated</strong>, unchained, and unshackled from all that keeps you in bondage in any way. May you release and let go of habits, patterns, and behaviors that no longer serve you. May you transcend limitations, those imposed by others and those you have imposed on yourself.</p>
<p>4. <strong>May you know that within each moment lives the freedom to choose and to begin again</strong>. May you know the divine truth of who you really are, your worth and your value, your gifts and your purpose. May you be free.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for that opportunity to share the words of <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://gsep.pepperdine.edu/about/our-people/faculty/shelly-harrell/" target="_blank">Dr. Shelly Harrell.</a></p>
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<p><em>This practice is excerpted from the Mindful Live Roundtable on Racial Justice. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/mindful-live-a-series-of-online-conversations/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Watch the full conversation.</a></em></p>
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<p class="posts__excerpt">Follow along as Rhonda Magee guides us through a S.T.O.P. practice for focused awareness. The invitation is to be kind to yourself, take a conscious breath, and gently relate to thoughts, emotions, and sensations that arise. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-s-t-o-p-practice-for-focused-awareness/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
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<li class="posts__date">November 3, 2020</li>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-walking-meditation-to-meet-uncertainty-with-compassion/">A Guided Walking Meditation to Meet Uncertainty with Compassion</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">When we’re facing the unknown, our thoughts and emotions often go into overdrive and we lose sight of being kind to ourselves. Mark Bertin reminds us that we are not alone and offers a practice to work with uncertainty. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-walking-meditation-to-meet-uncertainty-with-compassion/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Mark Bertin</li>
<li class="posts__date">November 2, 2020</li>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-15-minute-meditation-for-patience-and-resolve/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/guided-meditation-for-patience-and-resolve.jpg?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a>
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<div class="posts__badge__label">Guided Meditation</div>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-15-minute-meditation-for-patience-and-resolve/">A 15-Minute Meditation for Patience and Resolve</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Developing a sense of equanimity is difficult—even in the best of times. This guided meditation from Mark Bertin offers a quiet moment to be patient with ourselves as we navigate discomfort and uncertainty together. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-15-minute-meditation-for-patience-and-resolve/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Mark Bertin</li>
<li class="posts__date">October 27, 2020</li>
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<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org/guided-meditation-a-moment-of-loving-kindness/">Guided Meditation: A Moment of Loving-Kindness</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org">Mindful</a>.</p>
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Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-1805139447005061492020-11-05T17:08:00.001-08:002020-11-05T17:08:44.761-08:00Meditation: Refuge in Living Presence (19:34 min.)<hr class="wp-block-separator" />
<p>This meditation guides us to rest in the aliveness of the changing stream of sensations, sounds and feelings. As we open to the awareness that includes all life, we touch the peace, stillness and wakefulness that is our essence. We close with Wendell Berry’s beautiful poem, “The Peace of Wild Things.” </p>
<p><em>Image taken by Sherry Merrick</em></p>
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<p>When despair for the world grows in me<br />
and I wake in the night at the least sound<br />
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,<br />
I go and lie down where the wood drake<br />
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.<br />
I come into the peace of wild things<br />
who do not tax their lives with forethought<br />
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.<br />
And I feel above me the day-blind stars<br />
waiting with their light. For a time<br />
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.</p>
<cite>The Peace of Wild Things, Wendell Berry</cite></blockquote>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-refuge-living-presence-2/">Meditation: Refuge in Living Presence (19:34 min.)</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.tarabrach.com">Tara Brach</a>.</p>
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Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-87335669395684216872020-11-05T13:07:00.001-08:002020-11-05T13:07:52.284-08:00The Brain Science of Attention and Overwhelm<p><em>Volatility. Uncertainty. Complexity. Ambiguity.</em> In my lab at the University of Miami, these four words (shorthanded to “VUCA”) describe the type of high-stress, high-demand scenarios that can rapidly degrade one of our most powerful and influential brain systems: <a href="https://www.mindful.org/taming-the-wandering-mind/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">our attention.</a></p>
<p>My research team and I study people who regularly experience VUCA conditions as part of their jobs—soldiers, firefighters, organizational leaders, and more. We investigate the powers and vulnerabilities of the attention system, pinpoint the forces that degrade and weaken attention, and look for ways to protect and strengthen it.</p>
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<p>We are facing unprecedented levels of social upheaval, environmental destruction, and political discord. All of these events influence our cognitive capacities—and it’s not for the better.</p>
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<p>Right now, nine months into a grueling and unpredictable <a href="https://www.mindful.org/rethinking-our-self-care-during-the-pandemic/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">global pandemic</a>, we are all living in VUCA conditions. Compounding the constant health and economic concerns, we are facing unprecedented levels of social upheaval, environmental destruction, and political discord. All of these events influence our cognitive capacities—and it’s not for the better. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed or unfocused; if you’ve struggled with staying on task or been blindsided by emotion during this time—me too! But this is precisely what our prior research regarding the human brain’s attention system would predict.</p>
<p>Your attention system is complex and multifaceted, but the more you know about how it works, the more able you will be to navigate VUCA events. So here are 10 things you need to know about your attention—and how to protect it—that will serve you not only through this crisis, but for the rest of your life.</p>
<h3>1. Your Attention Creates Your Reality</h3>
<p>The reason we have “attention” is to solve one of the brain’s big problems: There is far more information in our environment (and in our own minds!) than the brain can fully process. Without a way to filter, the relentless sensory input would leave us overloaded, incapable of functioning effectively. The attention system is like a flashlight. It allows us to select and direct our brain’s computational resources to a smaller subset of the information. We can narrow our sights onto our conversation partner and boost her voice in a crowded room while dimming down other sights and sounds; it allows us to focus on a particular problem or happy memory from our past. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/category/covid-resources/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">During COVID</a>, your attention is what allows you to hold, at the front of your mind, the new rules for living to successfully keep yourself and others safe.</p>
<p>So realize this: Your attention is powerful. It determines the moment-to-moment experience of your life—what you perceive, feel, remember, think, and do.</p>
<h3>2. Your Attention is Vulnerable to Stress, Threat, and Poor Mood</h3>
<p>Attention is, in some ways, your brain’s superpower. But like many superpowers, it has kryptonite: <a href="https://www.mindful.org/how-meditation-helps-with-difficult-emotions/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">threat</a>, <a href="https://www.mindful.org/9-ways-mindfulness-reduces-stress/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">stress</a>, and <a href="https://www.mindful.org/seven-ways-to-navigate-emotional-turbulence/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">poor mood</a> will rapidly degrade your capacities. And these are things that occur quite regularly in VUCA conditions like fire season, military deployment, corporate bankruptcies and restructuring, or a global pandemic. COVID is producing circumstances that accelerate the rate at which attention is degraded as it jacks up attention’s kryptonite. During this protracted pandemic, we’re all experiencing a heightened sense of threat, new and constant stressors, <a href="https://www.mindful.org/5-guided-meditations-to-investigate-panic-and-anxiety/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">anxious feelings</a>, and more.</p>
<h3>3. Your Attention is Limited—And So Is Your Working Memory</h3>
<p>Working memory is an essential partner to attention: It’s what allows you to do something with the information you focus on. It’s what you use when you need to hold something in mind for a few seconds—for example, remembering that six-digit confirmation code, composing a phrase in your mind as you tap out a text, visualizing the route to a new location as you drive. Think of it as a mental whiteboard: a temporary scratch space where you can jot down crucial information.</p>
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<p>We’re spending a lot of our vulnerable and limited attentional resources policing our instincts and behaviors, as well as overcoming impulses and habits.</p>
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<p>But just like a real-life whiteboard, it’s only so big. You can fit about three or four items on it before you max out the space. And it has one important quirk: It uses disappearing ink. Anything you “write” on your mental whiteboard will start disappearing within a few seconds. If you want to keep it there longer, you have to keep focusing on it. In this COVID era, we are all running up against the limits of our whiteboards, all the time. We’re spending a lot of our vulnerable and limited attentional resources policing our instincts and behaviors, as well as overcoming impulses and habits. This sucks up our limited attention and our finite working memory capacity, leaving few cognitive resources for anything else.</p>
<h3>4. Your Attention Wanders Often</h3>
<p>In any particular moment, there’s a 50% chance you’re not really here. We’ve seen this in study after study: Half of the time, we’re mind wandering. And what most often captures our attention and pulls it away from the task at hand is our own thoughts and preoccupations. Our attention gets hijacked by mental content tied to <a href="https://www.mindful.org/four-ways-to-calm-your-mind-in-stressful-times/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">stress</a>, threat, and poor mood, the kryptonite for attention I mentioned earlier. And when this happens, we are more error-prone, our perception is dulled, and our mood sours.</p>
<p>Right now, we’re seeing an increase in people reporting “intrusive thoughts” about—you guessed it—COVID. And these <a href="https://www.mindful.org/how-mindfulness-can-help-you-navigate-the-coronavirus-panic/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">COVID-related thoughts and worries</a> that pop into our minds have a lot of pull. They can yank the flashlight of our attention away from what we’re doing, and it’s hard to pull it back. We experience uncertainty-related stress (How long will this go on?). We feel a threat, not only to our physical safety (to our health) but also our psychological safety, our norms, familiar routines, life as we knew it. And we struggle with poor mood, often heightened by a sense of <a href="https://www.mindful.org/connection-practice-remedy-feelings-isolation/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">isolation</a> and <a href="https://www.mindful.org/good-news-our-emotions-arent-set-in-stone/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">loneliness</a>. This pandemic has created the perfect circumstances for our attention to get easily, and constantly, hijacked.</p>
<h3>5. Your Attention is Linked to Your Emotions</h3>
<p>One of the biggest surprises about attention is how deeply it’s connected to emotion. Think about it this way: When we recall a happy memory or something sad or upsetting, we use our attention and working memory to do so. We fill up our whiteboards with the appropriate imagery, memory, and thought, and all of this is needed to construct the fullness of our emotional experience.</p>
<p>And it goes in the other direction as well—you need attentional bandwidth to <a href="https://www.mindful.org/meditation-keeps-emotions-in-check/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">regulate emotions</a> as they come along. Example: You’re overcome by some feeling, and you need to get steady. What do you do? You think through the problem, or you distract yourself by focusing on some other topic, or you reframe the situation (Maybe it’s not as bad as I think…). All of these tactics require attention as their fuel. And if your fuel is in short supply (because it is idling on ruminative loops of distressing thought), you just won’t have the cognitive resources to regulate your emotions effectively. You end up feeling unsteady and dysregulated.</p>
<h3>6. Your Attention is Essential for Connection</h3>
<p>Until now, I’ve been describing attention as a resource for your own private use—you direct the flashlight of your attention to your own <a href="https://www.mindful.org/an-inquiring-practice-to-notice-the-body/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">sensations</a>, <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-meditation-for-letting-thoughts-float-by-like-bubbles/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">thoughts</a>, <a href="https://www.mindful.org/investigating-your-emotions-without-suppressing-them/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">feelings</a>, and memories, and to the external environment. We also direct it toward other people to communicate and connect. Fascinatingly, we also use our working memory collaboratively. We use it to create a shared mental model so we can have a mutual understanding of what’s being communicated. “We’re not on the same page,” you might say to a friend, when you realize that your mental models are misaligned. We often need to be able to see things through someone else’s eyes. This is a critical aspect of connection.</p>
<blockquote class="wp-block-quote">
<p>Paying attention is one of the most compelling ways by which we can show our interest, care, and love for others.</p>
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<p>Paying attention is one of the most compelling ways by which we can show our interest, care, and love for others. Yet, while physically distancing, we can’t offer up our attention in the usual way right now—COVID is depriving us of the essential ways in which we connect.</p>
<h3>7. Your Attention Can Time-Travel</h3>
<p>It’s an amazing capacity we have, to fast-forward our attention into the future, and to rewind back into the past. We can recall precious memories; we can imagine and plan. But under VUCA conditions, this capacity gets harder to control.</p>
<p>We end up—without much choice or agency—trapped in the past and future. We long for the way life used to be. We worry, catastrophize, and hope. All this uncertainty makes us much more likely to play out various possible scenarios over and over again. This ends up being unhelpful and unproductive planning, as we burn attentional fuel on imagined situations that may never come to pass. A recent study we conducted found that the more COVID-related intrusive thoughts people reported, the more depressed they were, and the poorer <a href="https://www.mindful.org/the-ultimate-guide-to-mindfulness-for-sleep/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">sleep quality</a> they reported. These are some of the unfortunate consequences of mental time-travel run amok—especially now.</p>
<h3>8. Your Attention is Easily Fooled</h3>
<p>Your brain is an incredible virtual-reality machine. You can simulate all kinds of imagined scenarios and predictions. And you can do it all so vividly. But sometimes a simulation can be so convincing and transportive that it leads your attention system to recalibrate many brain networks as though it’s really happening. That means you often end up filtering out or overriding what’s really happening, right in front of you.</p>
<p>The uncertainty of the COVID era means you’re simulating a lot more. You’re imagining possible outcomes constantly—What if the vaccine isn’t effective? What if it isn’t safe? Will social upheaval transform our society for the better? What if it doesn’t? And during VUCA circumstances, our attention is more prone to being wholly transported into a simulated doomsday of our mind’s own making. And a critical aspect of attentional control may falter: our ability to realize that simulations are mental creations, and not reality. We forget that <a href="https://www.mindful.org/thoughts-not-facts-speak-power-judging/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">thoughts are not facts</a>.</p>
<h3>9. Your Attention Can Be a Bad Boss</h3>
<p>We all know that stress makes us feel bad. But long periods of stress are especially taxing, working our attention overtime and rapidly degrading it. What once was our superpower turns against us.</p>
<p>One of my colleagues in the military has written about “shelter fatigue”: Highly trained individuals facing a long period of isolation will suddenly break quarantine, even while fully understanding the consequences. At a certain point, our cognitive capacities can become so degraded that we are unable to maintain new rules and goals in our working memory. They go out the window (or off the whiteboard) and instead, our attention leads us to do what is comfortable and familiar. Overcoming our social habits, for example, can be attentionally exhausting to work against. I think back to a visit from a close friend over the COVID summer; when I saw her, it took so much self-control not to rush up and hug her.</p>
<p>So, keep in mind that sometimes your attention may “direct” you to do something that isn’t in your best interests. It’s a bad boss.</p>
<h3>10. Your Attention is Trainable</h3>
<p>Right now, you’re in high-kryptonite conditions. What can you do about it? Well, this is the question we’ve been studying in the lab for many years, and we’ve found an answer: <a href="https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-how-to-do-it/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Practice mindfulness.</a></p>
<p>Mindfulness meditation, practiced regularly, protects attention under VUCA conditions. Because mindfulness practice is about keeping your attention in the present moment without judgment, elaboration, or reactivity, it becomes a kind of “mental armor” against some of the most damaging habits of mind: <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/meditation-exploring-distracted-mind/" target="_blank">mind wandering</a>, <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/mindful-youre-anxious/" target="_blank">rumination</a>, and catastrophizing, which significantly rachet up under VUCA conditions like the times we are living through now. Mindfulness practice helps restore attention so you can regulate your emotions and relate to them differently by allowing them to arise and then pass away. The practice trains us to keep our attention in the present moment and increases our ability to maintain an awareness of what’s happening in the mind so we aren’t as easily hijacked or fooled into believing that our thoughts are reality.</p>
<blockquote class="wp-block-quote">
<p>You need to have a regular daily practice in order to see measurable attentional improvements—we’ve found that as little as 12 minutes a day for 3 to 5 days a week is protective over high stress intervals.</p>
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<p>While it’s helpful to start training before you enter a period of high demand, you can start now and still benefit. In our studies, we’ve noticed three things: 1) Short-form programs of eight hours of training show beneficial results within four weeks. 2) There is a minimum effective dose (you need to have a regular daily practice in order to see measurable attentional improvements—we’ve found that as little as 12 minutes a day for 3 to 5 days a week is protective over high stress intervals). 3) We see a dose-response effect (the more you do, the more you benefit).</p>
<p>With mindfulness practice, our mental fogginess begins to fade as our attention and working memory are protected and strengthened. Mind-wandering decreases, and our sense of clarity and well-being can bounce back. In this way, we are training our attention to be battle-ready for the VUCA circumstances of this pandemic and all those we may encounter for the rest of our lives.</p>
<h2 class="wp-block-mindful-section-header heading heading--section heading--left has-black-text"><span>read more</span></h2>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/the-mindfulness-of-breathing-exercise-with-neuroscientist-amishi-jha/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/MindfulnessofBreath.jpg?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a>
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<div class="posts__badge__label">Meditation</div>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/the-mindfulness-of-breathing-exercise-with-neuroscientist-amishi-jha/">A Mindfulness of Breathing Exercise with Neuroscientist Amishi Jha</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">The sequence of events in this practice are: focus, sustain attention, notice, and redirect attention back to the breath when it wanders. This is what we might call a “push-up” for your attention. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/the-mindfulness-of-breathing-exercise-with-neuroscientist-amishi-jha/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Amishi Jha</li>
<li class="posts__date">May 13, 2020</li>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/the-magnificent-mysterious-wild-connected-and-interconnected-brain/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/brainboyce-1.jpg?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/the-magnificent-mysterious-wild-connected-and-interconnected-brain/">The Magnificent, Mysterious, Wild, Connected and Interconnected Brain</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Our brain is like a wild, raging electrical storm that wondrously enables us to make our way. Yet a lot of mindfulness literature makes it sound like a very simple machine. Two leading neuroscientists suggest better ways to think and talk about the brain and the mind. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/the-magnificent-mysterious-wild-connected-and-interconnected-brain/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Barry Boyce</li>
<li class="posts__date">June 12, 2018</li>
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<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org/youre-overwhelmed-and-its-not-your-fault/">The Brain Science of Attention and Overwhelm</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org">Mindful</a>.</p>
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Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-29307067119932108672020-11-04T16:09:00.001-08:002020-11-04T16:09:37.355-08:00Calming a Rush of Reactivity with Compassion<p>What could be simpler than paying attention? It sounds so ridiculously simple when one tries to explain what <a href="https://www.mindful.org/what-is-mindfulness/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">mindfulness</a> is. It’s the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.</p>
<p>But practicing a simple thing in difficult circumstances is, well, no longer simple. Carefully folding the sails and coiling the rope while on the deck of a storm-tossed sailboat, with screaming winds and crashing waves, is decidedly difficult. And it’s a bit like practicing mindfulness in the midst of a <a href="https://www.mindful.org/rethinking-our-self-care-during-the-pandemic/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">global pandemic</a>, raging environmental disasters, and an <a href="https://www.mindful.org/8-questions-that-can-help-ease-election-anxiety/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">unprecedented political maelstrom</a>. How do we, as Rudyard Kipling once said, “keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you”? <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-15-minute-meditation-to-cultivate-equanimity/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">How do we find equanimity</a> and <a href="https://www.mindful.org/why-we-need-to-practice-a-little-self-compassion/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">self-compassion</a> when we feel overwhelmed at every turn?</p>
<p>On a completely average day, you might: </p>
<ul>
<li>Gaze in the mirror and feel the despair of realization that much of your destiny is determined by how you (or your ancestors) look, rather than who you ARE</li>
<li>Walk out of your house and feel the jolt of <a href="https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-meditation-anxiety/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">anxiety</a> when you realize you’ve forgotten your mask—along with distance, the scant protection you have from a deadly virus</li>
<li>Turn on the television and feel outrage, dismay and discouragement well up in your throat over the repulsive antics of political leaders, pundits and zealots of all stripes</li>
<li><a href="https://www.mindful.org/8-science-backed-tips-to-sleep-better-at-night/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Toss and turn at night</a> out of fear for the devastation of the very planet upon which we walk and live, fearing for the safety of your family in the next gale-force wind, surging tide, or rampaging wildfire</li>
</ul>
<p><a href="https://www.mindful.org/how-to-practice-mindfulness/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Practicing mindfulness</a> and compassion on that storm-tossed boat often feels like far too much to ask. As they say, “Good luck with that!”</p>
<p>On the other hand, it is also incredibly easy to slip into reactivity and mindlessness. I’m not proud of it, but I can recount a personal example that illustrates the point. I recently went through the process of buying a home and at one particular high-stress point, I felt the seller was being difficult. Then, I happened to become aware of his political “leaning” in this current election cycle, and let’s just say it doesn’t line up with my own views. I found myself dissing him to friends and family, as if that explained his problem behavior. It got a good laugh from all involved, although it left me feeling uncomfortable and kind of ashamed. But it was easy! And it felt good, at first. </p>
<h2>Overcoming Our Anxious Brain</h2>
<p>That’s the thing about falling into our evolutionary <a href="https://www.mindful.org/fight-or-flight/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">fight-or-flight mode</a> and finding ways to discharge our discomfort, without thinking or letting it even land in our hearts. We get instantaneous relief and release that doesn’t last and may leave us feeling worse, like many other impulsive things we might do when we “aren’t in our right mind.” When we are reactive, we are NOT in our right mind. We are in our ancient impulsive survival mind.</p>
<p>Evolutionary biologists and others will tell us that our brains have evolved to maintain our existence on the planet. It was essential to our survival as a species to stick together in our families and tribes, to react to every incursion into our awareness with a visceral, reflexive “Who goes there? Friend or foe?” response. </p>
<p>I often joke that we have come by our <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/labels-help-tame-reactive-emotions-naming/" target="_blank">reactivity</a> and <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/mindful-youre-anxious/" target="_blank">anxious tendencies</a> honestly, because OUR particular ancestors were the anxious ones! Those folks were the ones who were always looking over their shoulders, the ones who checked with each other before eating some strange new mushroom, and as a result, they lived to procreate. Ironically enough, it was the ancient ancestors who paused to savor the cool, clear, refreshing water in the spring, aware of the sensation of it moving into their bodies, who were at greater risk back then. Their full attention needed to be scanning for and responding to the slightest hint of danger, at any moment—the leopard about to pounce on them from the tree above, or the alligator lurking underwater, mere feet away, waiting for their opportunity to dine on fresh meat, or even the bitter taste of a plant that could signal its toxicity. We might see this as a <em>kind</em> of <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/present-moment-awareness-buffers-effects-daily-stress/" target="_blank">present-moment awareness</a>, but what it primed our ancestors to do is launch into the fight, flight, or freeze reaction that we still know so well. It was a hyperawareness of threats. Today, it is becoming imperative to be mindful and overcome these evolutionary patterns. As psychologist Paul Gilbert says, “It’s not our fault, but it is our responsibility.” </p>
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<p>We have a brain that wants to keep us safe by separating us into Us vs. Them, this reactive nervous system that sees “other” as “danger.”</p>
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<p>What will we do with this reactive nervous system we’ve inherited from our edgy ancestors? We have a brain that wants to keep us safe by separating us into Us vs. Them, this reactive nervous system that sees “other” as “danger” and pumps adrenaline and other neurotransmitters into our bodies to equip us to defend ourselves, run away, or hide (fight, flight, or freeze). Ironically enough, this meshes remarkably well with our <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/3-mindful-resources-for-election-day/" target="_blank">modern political climate</a> of opposing parties and liberal vs. conservative ideologies, that set us up to “other” those who appear to be different, further solidifying this unhelpful view of humanity. If the other is breaking into your home, it’s one thing. If the unwanted “intruder” is a politician on TV who doesn’t share your views, or the specter of a devastated planet, or the heart-wrenching death of a loved one due to a viral infection, it’s a whole other matter. No amount of aggression or fleeing or freezing will help, and in fact it could make things worse.</p>
<h2>Tapping Our Renewable Resources </h2>
<p>The first tool we have is awareness—being cognizant of <a href="https://www.mindful.org/youre-overwhelmed-and-its-not-your-fault/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">why this turmoil is happening in our brain and body</a>. Thankfully, even knowing about this ancient wiring can help support and calm us in the face of the chaos of the world. Being able to see the arising of reactivity and to hold it in calm, abiding awareness can help us find our feet in the maelstrom. It’s not easy, but it is actually simple. Practice, practice, practice. For better or worse, these days we have no shortage of opportunities to practice. (I like to call these AFGO’s: Another Freaking Growth Opportunity.) I turned my real-estate experience into an AFGO by actually just pausing long enough to observe where my reactive nervous system was leading me.</p>
<p>But more importantly, we as humans do not only have our <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/anxious-brain-meditation/" target="_blank">anxious brain</a> and a reactive sympathetic nervous system—we also are innately <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/why-our-interconnectedness-is-our-greatest-strength/" target="_blank">compassionate and interconnected</a> through our mammalian caregiving system. We need each other to survive, from conception right through young adulthood (and to the chagrin of some parents, even beyond that!). We are wired to reach out and connect, console, empower, and assist each other. </p>
<p>So in a moment of suffering and challenge and emotional overwhelm, we can practice mindfulness of the arising of all this suffering and all this fight-or-flight instinct, ground our attention in the breath and perhaps hold it at a little distance so we can find a wise response to it all, rather than lashing out or running away. In the case of my real-estate transaction, I might have been able to “step away” from the easy joke that was actually not in anyone’s best interest and instead stay focused on the task at hand. </p>
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<p>Self-compassion is a powerful and empirically-supported way of meeting ourselves that actually empowers us to be strong and resilient in the face of challenges.</p>
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<p>And we can also tend to the one who is feeling all of this and treat ourselves with the same care and tenderness that we offer to a dear friend who is suffering. In other words, we can acknowledge pain, suffering, and stress, and ALSO acknowledge how hard it is to feel this. We recognize that this is actually a part of the human condition (and know that means we are not alone in this), and give ourselves what we need in that moment. What we need may just be a <a href="https://www.mindful.org/three-practices-to-find-calm-and-equanimity/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">tender touch to our heart</a>, some warm <a href="https://www.mindful.org/its-not-mindfulness-without-kindness/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">kind words</a> of soothing or encouragement for ourselves, or even a knowing inner smile. Self-compassion is a powerful and empirically-supported way of meeting ourselves that actually empowers us to be strong and resilient in the face of challenges, because we can also comfort and soothe ourselves just because it’s hard.</p>
<p>When we can remain present to the arising of our outrage, our terror and our disappointment, meet ourselves kindly in the midst of all of it, and let go of trying to resist, control, or avoid these hard feelings, <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/why-meditation-is-a-practice-of-liberation/" target="_blank">we become free</a>. This kind of radical acceptance gives us tremendous freedom and power to learn and grow from terrible circumstances. It’s not easy. It is simple, and it may just make the difference for humanity, one human at a time.</p>
<h2 class="wp-block-mindful-section-header heading heading--section heading--left has-black-text"><span>read more</span></h2>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/staggering-under-the-weight-of-anxious-thoughts/">Staggering Under the Weight of Anxious Thoughts</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Sometimes we get overwhelmed by circumstances that just feel too big, threatening catastrophe. Take a breath. Being in this moment leads us toward the calm simplicity within ourselves. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/staggering-under-the-weight-of-anxious-thoughts/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Andrew Safer</li>
<li class="posts__date">October 20, 2020</li>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/youre-overwhelmed-and-its-not-your-fault/">The Brain Science of Attention and Overwhelm</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">We’re living in Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous times. Neuroscientist Amishi Jha explains ten ways your brain reacts—and how mindfulness can help you survive, and even thrive. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/youre-overwhelmed-and-its-not-your-fault/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Amishi Jha</li>
<li class="posts__date">October 20, 2020</li>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/why-we-need-to-practice-a-little-self-compassion/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/why-we-need-self-compassion.jpg?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a>
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<div class="posts__badge__label">Well-Being</div>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/why-we-need-to-practice-a-little-self-compassion/">Why We Need to Practice Self-Compassion</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">This five-minute video offers an easy self-compassion practice for moments when we’re feeling critical of ourselves. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/why-we-need-to-practice-a-little-self-compassion/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Mindful Staff</li>
<li class="posts__date">September 4, 2020</li>
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<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org/calming-a-rush-of-reactivity-with-compassion/">Calming a Rush of Reactivity with Compassion</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org">Mindful</a>.</p>
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from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8196908 https://www.mindful.org/calming-a-rush-of-reactivity-with-compassion/<br />
Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-52737706688879169112020-11-03T14:07:00.003-08:002020-11-03T14:07:42.189-08:00An Election Day Meditation<p>If we’ve been practicing mindfulness and other awareness practices, we know that even on <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/8-questions-that-can-help-ease-election-anxiety/" target="_blank">difficult days</a>, we’re just a moment of awareness away from a sense of greater ease and greater capacity to be with what is.</p>
<p>The <a href="https://www.mindful.org/the-s-t-o-p-practice-creating-space-around-automatic-reactions/">acronym S.T.O.P.</a> encapsulates how mindfulness practice can support us in making the most of opportunities for engagement in the world. Like all <a href="https://www.mindful.org/meditation/mindfulness-getting-started/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">mindfulness</a> practices, it has many different applications. For one, it is a simple tool that can support us in being here in a much more lively way with ourselves, opening up to what is coming up for us, right here, right now.</p>
<h2>Stop and Take a Conscious Breath</h2>
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<h3>S stands for Stop</h3>
<p>Stop what you are doing and if possible, perhaps take a seat. If standing, just pause where you are standing. It’s really about standing in your dignity or sitting in your dignity, to support bringing mindfulness to this moment. As you settle in, breathe in and out, allowing attention to rest on the feeling of the breath as it flows into the body, and out. Feel the nourishment of taking a moment to pause. This first step can be as short as just an instant, or as long as you like. <br /></p>
<h3>T stands for Take a conscious breath</h3>
<p>Now, taking one, very slow and conscious breath in, and a full complete breath out, really notice what it’s like to allow your <a href="https://www.mindful.org/meditation-start-here/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">attention</a> to rest on these sensations of breathing. Continuing to take a few very conscious, very intentional breaths. Simply allow yourself to feature the breathing aspect of the experience of this moment, one breath at a time. <br /></p>
<h3>O stands for Observe</h3>
<p>What is coming up for you in this moment? The shorthand T.E.S.—thoughts, emotions, sensations—can remind you of what you might gently scan for as you observe your experience. </p>
<p><a href="https://www.mindful.org/what-to-do-when-thoughts-arise-while-meditating/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" aria-label="What kind of thoughts might be arising? (opens in a new tab)">What kind of thoughts might be arising?</a> Imagine thoughts as being like clouds, moving through the sky of your consciousness, and just note the thoughts as they come up for you. </p>
<p>Then, what emotions or feelings are present? Is there some discomfort? Some feeling of <a href="https://www.mindful.org/sparking-joy-a-mindfulness-practice-for-everyday/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">opening to joy</a>? Whatever is arising is perfectly OK. There is no right or wrong way to feel. Mindfulness is about rolling out this welcome mat, allowing yourself to feel what’s here right now. </p>
<p>Then, notice sensations: You might feel a tightness around the shoulders, or a sinking feeling in the belly. Whatever is prominent, invite a reflection on the sensations that are coming up for you. The intention is just to create a spacious way of holding the sensations. Yes, these sensations are here right now. <br /></p>
<h3>P stands for Proceed</h3>
<p>Finally, when you’re ready, notice the opportunity presented in this moment to proceed, to choose how to move from this place of reflective <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-meditation-for-turning-awareness-into-action/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">awareness into engagement.</a> Proceed with presence, all the while holding your experience with kindness, friendliness, and self-compassionate for your experience in this moment. <br /></p>
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<p>Notice the opportunity presented in this moment to proceed, to choose how to move from this place of reflective awareness into engagement.</p>
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<p>When you are ready, transition out of this practice. Feel what it was like, and any way in which that moment of practice may have shifted your experience. Bring awareness to that shift, to help you see just how mindfulness practice is for you. Many teachers use the term “YOU-ru” as opposed to “guru,” which means you can take full ownership of the great opportunity that being alive presents: to deepen your ability to meet whatever is coming up, with more steadfastness, more stamina, more resilience, and more intentionality about how you want to be in the world. </p>
<h2 class="wp-block-mindful-section-header heading heading--section heading--left has-black-text"><span>read more</span></h2>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/8-questions-that-can-help-ease-election-anxiety/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/8-questions-that-can-help-ease-election-anxiety-scaled.jpg?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a>
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<div class="posts__badge__label">Daily Practices</div>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/8-questions-that-can-help-ease-election-anxiety/">8 Questions That Can Help Ease Election Anxiety</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">What can we do to stay resilient during the leadup to the US election? These questions will help you check in with yourself daily. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/8-questions-that-can-help-ease-election-anxiety/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Jill Suttie and Jeremy Adam Smith</li>
<li class="posts__date">October 21, 2020</li>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/having-a-tough-conversation-try-the-reset-practice/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/Having-tough-conversations-reset-practice.jpg?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a>
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<div class="posts__badge__label">Daily Practices</div>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/having-a-tough-conversation-try-the-reset-practice/">Having a Tough Conversation? Try the Reset Practice</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">It’s not always the case that our formal mindfulness practice carries seamlessly into daily life—especially in conversations that spark tension. Shalini Bahl-Milne offers a practice to help you ensure you can be mindfully present for these difficult moments. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/having-a-tough-conversation-try-the-reset-practice/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Shalini Bahl-Milne</li>
<li class="posts__date">October 7, 2020</li>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-walking-meditation-to-meet-uncertainty-with-compassion/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/guided-meditation-to-meet-uncertainty-with-compassion.jpg?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a>
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<div class="posts__badge__label">Guided Meditation</div>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-walking-meditation-to-meet-uncertainty-with-compassion/">A Guided Walking Meditation to Meet Uncertainty with Compassion</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">When we’re facing the unknown, our thoughts and emotions often go into overdrive and we lose sight of being kind to ourselves. Mark Bertin reminds us that we are not alone and offers a practice to work with uncertainty. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-walking-meditation-to-meet-uncertainty-with-compassion/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Mark Bertin</li>
<li class="posts__date">November 2, 2020</li>
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<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-s-t-o-p-practice-for-focused-awareness/">An Election Day Meditation</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org">Mindful</a>.</p>
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from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8196908 https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-s-t-o-p-practice-for-focused-awareness/<br />
Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-59408278468387779042020-11-03T14:07:00.001-08:002020-11-03T14:07:41.001-08:003 Mindful Resources for Election Day<p>It’s election day in the United States and that can bring with it all kinds of feelings, from excitement at the opportunity to exercise your democratic franchise to <a href="https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-meditation-anxiety/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">anxiety</a>, <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-7-minute-guided-meditation-to-embrace-fear/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">fear</a>, or <a href="https://www.mindful.org/connect-to-your-anger-without-losing-control/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">anger</a> about the outcome, no matter where you live. </p>
<p>Whatever you’re feeling, we hope you make room for kindness—toward all those you encounter today and most especially toward yourself. Whatever you may be dealing with, in addition to the natural uncertainty about the future any election brings, may you extend grace to yourself today, and to those you meet.</p>
<p>Here are some simple mindfulness practices to help you through the day.</p>
<h2>Mindful Practices for Election Day</h2>
<p><strong>1)</strong> <strong>Return to your breath in moments of stress</strong>: The deepest healing occurs when you come to terms with the way things are. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/10-minute-nourishing-breath-meditation/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">This simple awareness of breath practice</a> is an act of self-love and compassion for the moment we find ourselves in.</p>
<p><strong>2) Create space for difficult thoughts:</strong> Try this simple <a href="https://www.mindful.org/the-s-t-o-p-practice-creating-space-around-automatic-reactions/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">four-minute mindfulness practice</a> from Rhonda Magee to find calm when difficult moments arise.</p>
<p><strong>3) Remember we’re all connected</strong>: Mirabai Bush offers <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/just-like-me-compassion-practice/" target="_blank">this “Just Like Me” practice</a> for increasing compassion. It helps us to remember what we share as human beings.</p>
<p>We’re all in this together.</p>
<h2 class="wp-block-mindful-section-header heading heading--section heading--left has-black-text"><span>read more</span></h2>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/8-questions-that-can-help-ease-election-anxiety/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/8-questions-that-can-help-ease-election-anxiety-scaled.jpg?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a>
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<div class="posts__badge__label">Daily Practices</div>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/8-questions-that-can-help-ease-election-anxiety/">8 Questions That Can Help Ease Election Anxiety</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">What can we do to stay resilient during the leadup to the US election? These questions will help you check in with yourself daily. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/8-questions-that-can-help-ease-election-anxiety/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Jill Suttie and Jeremy Adam Smith</li>
<li class="posts__date">October 21, 2020</li>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-s-t-o-p-practice-for-focused-awareness/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/An-Election-Day-Meditation.jpg?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a>
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<div class="posts__badge__label">Guided Meditation</div>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-s-t-o-p-practice-for-focused-awareness/">An Election Day Meditation</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Follow along as Rhonda Magee guides us through a S.T.O.P. practice for focused awareness. The invitation is to be kind to yourself, take a conscious breath, and gently relate to thoughts, emotions, and sensations that arise. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-s-t-o-p-practice-for-focused-awareness/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Rhonda Magee</li>
<li class="posts__date">November 3, 2020</li>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-15-minute-meditation-for-patience-and-resolve/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/guided-meditation-for-patience-and-resolve.jpg?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-15-minute-meditation-for-patience-and-resolve/">A 15-Minute Meditation for Patience and Resolve</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Developing a sense of equanimity is difficult—even in the best of times. This guided meditation from Mark Bertin offers a quiet moment to be patient with ourselves as we navigate discomfort and uncertainty together. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-15-minute-meditation-for-patience-and-resolve/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
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<li class="posts__author">Mark Bertin</li>
<li class="posts__date">October 27, 2020</li>
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<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org/3-mindful-resources-for-election-day/">3 Mindful Resources for Election Day</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org">Mindful</a>.</p>
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Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-57230574089613953912020-11-03T11:07:00.001-08:002020-11-03T11:07:15.490-08:00Mindful Live Q&A with Powerful Women of the Mindfulness Movement<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/a2398735-bf88-4985-82fa-0bbefd7c0435-1.png" alt="" class="wp-image-45518" srcset="https://cdn.mindful.org/a2398735-bf88-4985-82fa-0bbefd7c0435-1.png 1000w, https://cdn.mindful.org/a2398735-bf88-4985-82fa-0bbefd7c0435-1-300x50.png 300w, https://cdn.mindful.org/a2398735-bf88-4985-82fa-0bbefd7c0435-1-768x128.png 768w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" /></figure>
<h2>Questions About Mindful Live</h2>
<h4>Will this Mindful Live session be available to watch again? </h4>
<p>Yes, you can watch the Mindful Live session with Leslie Booker, Jenée Johnson, Tita Angangco, Jessica Morey, Ghylian Bell, and managing editor Stephanie Domet <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/mindful-live-a-series-of-online-conversations/" target="_blank">here.</a></p>
<h4>How can I stay up-to-date on upcoming Mindful Live events? </h4>
<p>Sign up for our <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="http://mindful.org/newsletter" target="_blank">newsletter</a> to stay in the loop about Mindful Live events. You can also follow us on <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.facebook.com/mindfulorg/" target="_blank">Facebook</a>, <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmagazine/" target="_blank">Instagram</a>, and <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://twitter.com/MindfulOnline" target="_blank">Twitter</a> for reminders and updates.</p>
<h2>More About the Roundtable Panelists</h2>
<h3>Leslie Booker</h3>
<p><a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.lesliebooker.com/" target="_blank">Leslie Booker</a> is a cofounder of the Yoga Service Council at Omega Institute and the Meditation Working Group of Occupy Wall Street. Booker is a coauthor of Best Practices for Yoga in a Criminal Justice Setting, a contributor to Georgetown Law’s Center on Poverty and Inequality’s report: Gender & Trauma—Somatic Interventions for Girls in Juvenile Justice, YOGA: The Secret of Life, and contributed to Sharon Salzberg’s book <em>Happiness at Work.</em></p>
<h3>Jenée Johnson</h3>
<p><a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.jeneejohnson.com/about" target="_blank">Jenée Johnson</a> is the Program Innovation Leader: Mindfulness, Trauma, and Racial Equity at the San Francisco Department of Public Health and the founder of The Right Within Experience, a mindfulness program that reclaims humanity, joy, and well-being for Black people.</p>
<h3>Tita Angangco</h3>
<p>Tita Angangco cofounded, along with Patricia Rockman, the <a href="https://www.mindfulnessstudies.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Centre for Mindfulness Studies</a>. Angangco knew mindfulness meditation could help those who practice be gentler, more open, less reactive, and more resilient—and that could be a boon for people who are involved with government systems like corrections, health, housing, and more.</p>
<h3>Jessica Morey</h3>
<p>Jessica is the cofounder and former executive director of <a href="https://ibme.com/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Inward Bound Mindfulness Education (iBme)</a>, a nonprofit that offers mindfulness training for teenagers, parents, and educators. Jessica began practicing meditation at age 14 at the Insight Meditation Society teen retreats, where she has continued to practice mindfulness and compassion meditation for a quarter century.</p>
<h3>Ghylian Bell</h3>
<p>Ghylian Bell is the founder of <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="http://www.urbanyogafoundation.org/" target="_blank">The Urban Yoga Foundation</a>—a national organization that creates outreach programs available for schools, organizations, studios, and corporations.</p>
<h2>Further Reading from the Roundtable on Racial Justice</h2>
<p>Here is a list of works discussed during the roundtable.</p>
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.ca/books/565790/the-inner-work-of-racial-justice-by-rhonda-v-magee-foreword-by-jon-kabat-zinn/9780593083925" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">The Inner Work of Racial Justice</a> by Rhonda Magee</li>
<li><a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://twitter.com/razorfemme/status/1159287304789405699" target="_blank">Twitter thread</a> from Kai Cheng Thom</li>
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<h2>Questions from the Audience</h2>
<h3>Listen to the full conversation:</h3>
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<p><strong>Q:</strong> Thank you so much for this panel. I am new to mindfulness work and taking a course here in California. How do I help my (white woman) instructor credit and incorporate POC voices and experiences into our practices and discussions?</p>
<p><strong>Jessica Morey:</strong> First, I just really want to celebrate the intention and motivation to do that. It feels hugely important. I guess there are two steps that I would propose. The first is to bring this to your teacher. </p>
<p>And so I talked a lot about some of the work that I’ve done with <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/a-qa-with-collaborative-leadership-facilitator-miki-kashtan/?_thumbnail_id=45225" target="_blank">Miki Kashtan</a> and nonviolent communications and bringing that way of communicating, which is really getting in touch with your feelings and what you want. Your <em>why</em>. Why does it matter to you to have diverse voices and people of color as part of what you’re learning and in the voices that are being quoted? So bring that to your teacher, highlight the <em>why</em>, make the ask that you have, and then do a little bit of research on your own. Find the voices that you think are inspiring and need to be part of the conversation.</p>
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<p>Find the voices that you think are inspiring and need to be part of the conversation.</p>
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<p>The amazing thing that’s happening right now is there are so many teachers of color writing books right now: Rhonda Magee, Sebene Selassie, and many more coming out. You can also look to the people that we quoted in the last session: Audre Lorde and bell hooks. So do a little of your own research and you might even just bring in your favorite people, your favorite books, and invite your teacher to take a look. </p>
<p><strong>Q:</strong> The idea that Black and other marginalized folks are not preparing the body to “return to safety,” but to continually survive an ongoing, chronic trauma resonates for me with Frantz Fanon’s “combat breathing.” This concept was also expanded by Ntozake Shange. Have any of you all encountered/used the concept of “combat breathing” in your mindful communities?</p>
<p><strong>Ghylian Bell:</strong> I’m not familiar with combat breathing. Just to be completely transparent. But what I will say is in Kemetic yoga there’s a pose called peaceful warrior. And I resonate with peaceful warrior because it brings you to a place of understanding that fight or flight is necessary. It’s a necessary action. It’s just been overused especially for Black lives and Indigenous lives, people of color. Preparation and awareness and knowing self, knowing trauma, looking at trauma and grief head on is so underrated. </p>
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<p>You use the the energy from trauma for a reason. But you can’t sit with it and live with it. I think we’ve been in the practice of normalizing trauma. We’ve normalized it in such a way that it’s just a part of the practice. </p>
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<p>And this is where combat breathing can connect to the peaceful warrior pose: understanding your trauma, facing your trauma, bringing awareness and space for that to happen, moving through it with peace. You use the breath in combat for a reason. You use the the energy from trauma for a reason. But you can’t sit with it and live with it. I think we’ve been in the practice of normalizing trauma. That’s the word I want to use. We’ve normalized it in such a way that it’s just a part of the practice. </p>
<p>I don’t even know if I’m answering the question. I just think that there’s this space we need to give so that combat breathing and this whole thing because we’re so into it doesn’t become normal. </p>
<p><strong>Tita Angangco:</strong> I’ve never encountered combat breathing. That’s very kind of new for us. And I think one of the issues that we’re actually grappling with in The Centre for Mindfulness Studies as we work with marginalized individuals is really how to incorporate a full understanding of trauma in our work. And so this is really helpful for me to be hearing about these approaches. Because we really do have to do more and more of that. Now, we do deal with trauma, but I haven’t heard about combat breathing within the context of our trauma work. </p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org/mindful-live-qa-with-powerful-women-of-the-mindfulness-movement/">Mindful Live Q&A with Powerful Women of the Mindfulness Movement</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org">Mindful</a>.</p>
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Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-58311553507840314362020-11-02T20:07:00.001-08:002020-11-02T20:07:22.145-08:00A Guided Walking Meditation to Meet Uncertainty with Compassion<p>Life is inherently changeable and uncertain, and our <a href="https://www.mindful.org/5-ways-build-resilience-every-day/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">resilience</a> relies on how we relate to that fact. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/what-is-mindfulness/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Mindfulness</a> doesn’t mean everything’s fine or that we’re calm all the time. We aim for <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-15-minute-meditation-for-patience-and-resolve/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">patience</a>, clarity, and then—when it’s time—skillful action. </p>
<p>Whatever we face, we can carve out a moment to settle before deciding what comes next. Instead of remaining caught up in <a href="https://www.mindful.org/labels-help-tame-reactive-emotions-naming/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">reactivity</a>, <a href="https://www.mindful.org/cooling-the-raging-fires-of-anger/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">anger</a>, and <a href="https://www.mindful.org/face-fear-and-keep-going/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">fear</a>, it takes effort and training to find a balance between accepting what we cannot change and seeking out where to actively put our effort. </p>
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<p>The heart of mindfulness means doing our best to navigate our experience, even our crises, with both precision and compassion.</p>
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<p>Take a moment when you’re able to explore that balance. The heart of mindfulness means doing our best to navigate our experience, even our crises, with both precision and compassion. </p>
<h2>A Mindful Walking Practice to Work with Uncertainty</h2>
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<p>1. <strong>So as you start, focus on what it feels like to walk.</strong> Notice the physical sensation of each step. Notice your foot rising, the shift of weight in your body, and then your foot returning to the ground. </p>
<p>2. <strong>You might label each step as <em>step</em></strong>. Or you might count small runs of steps, perhaps up to 10, and then start again. </p>
<p>3. <strong>Note your mind’s tendency to add on to your experience</strong>, often in ways that complicate even the most challenging moments. Your mind may already be wandering into the future or the past. When you catch yourself lost in thoughts like that, come back again to one step. </p>
<p>4. <strong>And now, if you’d like, expand your awareness</strong>. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/even-loud-sounds-meditation-practice/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Notice sounds</a> around you. With a sense of unforced and balanced effort, notice smells, touch, and sights. </p>
<p>5. <strong>With a sense of strength and perhaps appreciation, immerse yourself in the physical sensation</strong> of the walk that you’re taking. </p>
<p>6. <strong>If a thought or a feeling holds your awareness or becomes a distraction, see if you’re able to practice letting go a little.</strong> Notice that sense of getting hooked or tied up in your thoughts and then come back again to that immediate physical sensation of each step. </p>
<p>7. <strong>Noticing those thoughts, return your attention again to the physical sensation</strong> of taking your walk. </p>
<p>8. <strong>For the last few minutes of the practice, if you’d like, focus on a sense of kindness and compassion.</strong> You’re not alone right now. Everyone around the world is struggling to get by. </p>
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<p>You’re not alone right now. Everyone around the world is struggling to get by. </p>
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<p>9. <strong>So as you walk, taking in your reality, remind yourself: This is what <em>is</em> right now for me.</strong> This is where I am—observing my <a href="https://www.mindful.org/investigating-your-emotions-without-suppressing-them/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">emotional state</a>, my state of mind, and thoughts. </p>
<p>10. <strong>And then as you walk, wish yourself whatever you would wish for your closest friends</strong> right now. </p>
<p><em>May I be happy and at ease. </em></p>
<p><em>May I recover my sense of resolve and strength. </em></p>
<p>11. <strong>If it feels comfortable, you might also expand that.</strong> Picture your <a href="https://www.mindful.org/7-things-mindful-families-do-differently/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">family</a> and friends in the same way. </p>
<p><em>May we all find our sense of resolve and ease.</em></p>
<p><em>May we all stay healthy and safe.</em></p>
<p> 12. <strong>And if, while you’re walking, you encounter other people or even pass other houses, you may take a moment to offer those strangers the same wishes.</strong> Whoever they are, whatever their life experience, everyone has their struggles. So as you pass these other people, or their homes, wish them well.</p>
<p><em>May you find health and happiness. </em></p>
<p>13. <strong>As we end the formal mindfulness practice, expand your awareness to all beings everywhere</strong>—even the ones you find most difficult and challenging. Everyone in some way is driven by a motivation to be free of suffering, to be <a href="https://www.mindful.org/9-ways-mindfulness-reduces-stress/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">free of stress</a>, to be healthy, to be happy. </p>
<p><em>May everyone everywhere throughout the world find a sense of resilience, stay healthy, and find happiness. </em></p>
<h2 class="wp-block-mindful-section-header heading heading--section heading--left has-black-text"><span>read more</span></h2>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-15-minute-meditation-for-patience-and-resolve/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/guided-meditation-for-patience-and-resolve.jpg?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a>
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<div class="posts__badge__label">Guided Meditation</div>
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<div class="col-8">
<div class="posts__body">
<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-15-minute-meditation-for-patience-and-resolve/">A 15-Minute Meditation for Patience and Resolve</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Developing a sense of equanimity is difficult—even in the best of times. This guided meditation from Mark Bertin offers a quiet moment to be patient with ourselves as we navigate discomfort and uncertainty together. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-15-minute-meditation-for-patience-and-resolve/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Mark Bertin</li>
<li class="posts__date">October 27, 2020</li>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/watching-trains-a-calming-breath-practice-for-kids/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/mindfuless-practice-for-kids-train-of-thoughts.jpg?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/watching-trains-a-calming-breath-practice-for-kids/">Watching Trains: A Calming Breath Practice for Kids</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Join author Susan B. Katz in a playful practice that helps children to focus on their breath, while their thoughts zoom on by. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/watching-trains-a-calming-breath-practice-for-kids/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Susan B. Katz</li>
<li class="posts__date">October 26, 2020</li>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/the-g-r-a-c-e-practice-a-moment-to-engage-in-self-care/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/Guided-meditation-michelle-maldonado.jpg?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/the-g-r-a-c-e-practice-a-moment-to-engage-in-self-care/">The G.R.A.C.E. Practice: A Moment to Engage in Self-Care</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Follow this 12-minute guided meditation to gather your attention and consider what would really serve you, your self-care, and your capacity for resilience. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/the-g-r-a-c-e-practice-a-moment-to-engage-in-self-care/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Michelle Maldonado</li>
<li class="posts__date">October 16, 2020</li>
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<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-walking-meditation-to-meet-uncertainty-with-compassion/">A Guided Walking Meditation to Meet Uncertainty with Compassion</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org">Mindful</a>.</p>
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Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-66320770294380425702020-10-30T18:07:00.003-07:002020-10-30T18:07:39.961-07:00Why Playing the Blame Game in Your Relationship Doesn’t Work<p>When something goes wrong, our first instinct is to <a href="https://www.mindful.org/two-lessons-on-blame-from-brene-brown/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">blame</a>.</p>
<p>We experienced this last year during our family trip to Mexico (ah, vacations…remember those?). On our drive from the airport to the hotel, we were pulled over by the Mexican police for 45 minutes.</p>
<p>Then, our hotel room ended up sharing a wall with an all-night New Year’s Eve dance party, which meant that we (and our eight-year-old) slept, not at all. And then after moving to a new resort to escape the noise, we experienced two nights of raccoon invasions. Yes, you read that right. Raccoons crawled in through the windows of our room, opened the refrigerator and scattered our food everywhere.</p>
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<p>Adding blame to already chaotic moments is like dumping gasoline on a fire. It just makes everything worse.</p>
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<p>Needless to say, things didn’t go the way we had planned. And when this happened, we could both feel the urge to blame.</p>
<p><em>He should’ve been more careful when researching these resorts. She should’ve been more proactive about switching our room so we didn’t have to witness an all-night EDM dance party.</em> Luckily, we were able to watch these <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/what-to-do-when-thoughts-arise-while-meditating/" target="_blank">thoughts arise</a>, laugh at them, and avoid blaming each other.</p>
<p>It hasn’t always been that way. We’ve had plenty of arguments that devolved into the blame game. But here’s the thing: As you’ve probably experienced firsthand, adding blame to these already chaotic moments is like dumping gasoline on a fire. It just makes everything worse. So how can we avoid blaming our <a href="https://www.mindful.org/how-to-be-mindful-in-love/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">partner</a> when things go awry?</p>
<h2>How to Stop Blaming Your Partner When Things Go Wrong</h2>
<h3>1. It’s not personal</h3>
<p>Imagine your partner spills a full glass of red wine on your lap during dinner. Or maybe they accidentally ram a shopping cart into the side of the car at the store, or they forget to check on the chicken in the oven and burn it to a crisp.</p>
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<p>It’s worth remembering when things go wrong, that it’s usually not personal. It’s just the unwieldy flow of life, where things rarely go according to plan.</p>
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<p>Blame happens when we take the consequences of accidents like this personally, and view these “bad things” as intentional attacks levied by our partner against us. So it’s worth remembering when things go wrong, that it’s usually not personal. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/ride-waves-change/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">It’s just the unwieldy flow of life</a>, where things rarely go according to plan.</p>
<h3>2. Shift from blame to accountability</h3>
<p>But what about situations where the problem isn’t purely an accident? Perhaps your partner made a mistake that could have been avoided. When this happens, it’s almost impossible not to blame your partner. But we think there’s a better alternative: shifting from blame to accountability.</p>
<p>Instead of saying, “It’s your fault—what were you thinking?” use this opportunity to <a href="https://www.mindful.org/how-being-held-accountable-is-an-experience-of-vulnerability/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">offer your partner some accountability.</a></p>
<p>How do you do that? It’s tempting to get caught up in stories about why your partner is wrong. It’s tempting to go off on a rant about how they should have known better. But if you want more <a href="https://www.mindful.org/the-science-of-staying-in-love/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">love</a> and <a href="https://www.mindful.org/are-you-really-available-for-connection/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">connection</a>, a better alternative is to create accountability by simply revealing your raw <a href="https://www.mindful.org/using-mindfulness-to-befriend-all-of-our-emotions/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">emotional experience</a>.</p>
<blockquote class="wp-block-quote">
<p>Things often don’t go according to plan. We make mistakes. And random events outside our control can turn even the most ordinary day into utter chaos.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This sounds like, “I felt scared when you forgot to pick up our daughter from soccer practice” or “I notice that I get frustrated when you say you’re going to do something and it takes weeks before it actually gets done.”</p>
<p>Just like our trip to Mexico, where everything that could go wrong did, life itself is messy. Things often don’t go according to plan. We make mistakes. And random events outside our control (hello, <a href="https://www.mindful.org/category/covid-resources/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">COVID-19!</a>) can turn even the most ordinary day into utter chaos.</p>
<p>When this happens, your first instinct may be to blame your partner. It may always be. The key is to notice this instinct and then shift by remembering that it’s not personal and that you can create loving accountability by revealing your emotional experience.</p>
<h2 class="wp-block-mindful-section-header heading heading--section heading--left has-black-text"><span>read more</span></h2>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/having-a-tough-conversation-try-the-reset-practice/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/Having-tough-conversations-reset-practice.jpg?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a>
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<div class="posts__badge__label">Daily Practices</div>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/having-a-tough-conversation-try-the-reset-practice/">Having a Tough Conversation? Try the Reset Practice</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">It’s not always the case that our formal mindfulness practice carries seamlessly into daily life—especially in conversations that spark tension. Shalini Bahl-Milne offers a practice to help you ensure you can be mindfully present for these difficult moments. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/having-a-tough-conversation-try-the-reset-practice/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Shalini Bahl-Milne</li>
<li class="posts__date">October 7, 2020</li>
</ul>
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</article>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/six-ways-relationships-help-you-thrive/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/friends-3.png?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a>
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<div class="posts__badge__label">Relationships</div>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/six-ways-relationships-help-you-thrive/">Six Ways Relationships Help You Thrive</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Personal growth may seem like a solo pursuit, but it’s our relationships that bring out the best in us. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/six-ways-relationships-help-you-thrive/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">James McConchie</li>
<li class="posts__date">August 12, 2019</li>
</ul>
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</article>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/good-news-our-emotions-arent-set-in-stone/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/emotions-arent-set-in-stone.jpg?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a>
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<div class="posts__badge__label">Well-Being</div>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/good-news-our-emotions-arent-set-in-stone/">Good News: Our Emotions Aren’t Set In Stone</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Emotions are changeable and culturally constructed—which means we get to choose how we feel about how we feel. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/good-news-our-emotions-arent-set-in-stone/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Sharon Begley</li>
<li class="posts__date">August 6, 2020</li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</article>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org/why-playing-the-blame-game-in-your-relationship-doesnt-work/">Why Playing the Blame Game in Your Relationship Doesn’t Work</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org">Mindful</a>.</p>
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Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-1335491542584823722020-10-30T18:07:00.001-07:002020-10-30T18:07:38.758-07:00Change, Loss and Timeless Love – Part 2 (Retreat Talk)<hr class="wp-block-separator" />
<p>Our capacity to live and love fully is entirely intertwined with how we relate to change and loss. These two talks are an invitation to look honestly, and without judgment, at the ways, we resist facing our fears and grieving our losses. We then explore how to bring mindfulness and compassion to processing what we’ve resisted, and opening to the timeless love that is our true nature. (given at the Fall 2020 IMCW 7-Day Silent Retreat – 2020-10-26).</p>
<blockquote class="wp-block-quote">
<p>Everything you see has its roots<br />
in the unseen world.<br />
The forms may change,<br />
yet the essence remains the same.<br />
<br />
Every wondrous sight will vanish,<br />
every sweet word will fade.<br />
But do not be disheartened,<br />
The Source they come from is eternal–<br />
growing, branching out,<br />
giving new life and new joy.<br />
<br />
Why do you weep?–<br />
That Source is within you,<br />
and this whole world<br />
is springing up from it.<br />
<br />
The Source is full,<br />
its waters are ever-flowing;<br />
Do not grieve,<br />
drink your fill!<br />
Don’t think it will ever run dry–<br />
This is the endless Ocean!</p>
<cite>A Garden Beyond Paradise by Rumi</cite></blockquote>
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<div class="wp-block-embed__wrapper"><iframe title="Tara Brach on Change, Loss and Timeless Love (Part 2)" width="1024" height="576" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/sF6Fvgb-UYs?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div>
</figure>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.tarabrach.com/change-loss-timeless-love-2/">Change, Loss and Timeless Love – Part 2 (Retreat Talk)</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.tarabrach.com">Tara Brach</a>.</p>
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Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-2139584139011650862020-10-30T11:07:00.003-07:002020-10-30T11:07:33.393-07:005 Ways Mindfulness Can Help Us Work Through Grief<p>There’s a question I’m asked often as a psychologist: What IS grief? Psychologically speaking, as Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross wrote in 1969, grief is an emotional response to loss. This emotional response is conceptualized as a non-linear expression of different stages of feeling states including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (aka: “DABDA”). It’s worth noting that Kübler-Ross formulated this five-stage process to describe the emotional journey of dying people, <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mcgill.ca/oss/article/health-history/its-time-let-five-stages-grief-die" target="_blank">not the bereaved</a>. Still, since her model has become widely known, many people have found solace in it after experiencing the loss of a loved one.</p>
<p>Biologically speaking, grief is a homeostatic process, a journey that our mind, brain, and body need to engage in to best recover from the trauma of a loss. This is an evolutionary need, since attachment and connection is embedded within our limbic circuitry. Yes, whether we are conscious of it or not, or like it or not, relationships deeply imprint upon our neuronal selves.</p>
<p>Second, I want to note what grief is <em>not</em>. Grief is not, by any means, a one-size-fits-all kind of process. In fact, it is a uniquely individual process that often feels amorphous and difficult to capture with words. When it comes to grief, there is no “normal” or typical way to “do it.” Despite what some believe, in my opinion, there is no “normal” time period allotted for grief.</p>
<p>It takes a boat load of self-compassion to allow oneself to feel whatever it is you are feeling at any given time, without judgment, without comparison relative to another’s explicit portrayal of their own process. In this way, to grieve is to be mindful of our thoughts and feelings.</p>
<blockquote class="wp-block-quote">
<p>Grief is not, by any means, a one-size-fits-all kind of process. In fact, it is a uniquely individual process that often feels amorphous and difficult to capture with words.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Finally, while there is no one “right” way to grieve, to actually grieve is essential for our ability to employ our human capacity to find a renewed sense of meaning. Grief elicits resilience. The capacity to continue to hold a loved one in our heart/mind while still forging forward with purpose and direction.</p>
<h3>Five Ways to Grieve Mindfully</h3>
<p>1. <strong>Accept your feelings:</strong> Allow yourself to feel what you feel at any given moment, with a sense of self-compassion, and without judgment.</p>
<p>2. <strong>Express your feelings:</strong> Just as important as accepting your feelings is expressing them in a way that is helpful to you. Journaling, talking about the experience, scrapbooking, or dancing, for example, are helpful ways to process grief instead of allowing the feelings to stay stuck.</p>
<p>3. R<strong>each out:</strong> During this time, it is important to reach out in multiple ways. Reach out for guidance from a spiritual counselor or a psychologist. Reach out to share stories of your loved one with others. Reach out to offer support to other grievers. Find a balance between sitting with yourself, and being with others, but ultimately, reach out—don’t isolate.</p>
<p>4. C<strong>ontinue to take care of yourself and others</strong>: Living life while grieving often feels like scaling a mountain. Grieving takes energy and can often feel draining. As much as possible during this tough time, continue to eat well, exercise, and maintain wellness practices.</p>
<p>5. C<strong>elebrate your loved one’s life:</strong> It is important through the grief process to keep the memory of your loved one alive in some way that both inspires growth, and reflects and honors your unique relationship. This can include donating to a charity, meditating in their honor, and even planting a tree.</p>
<a href="" class="wp-block-mindful-read-more list-articles__more">Read More</a>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/go-toward-what-hurts/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/NEWostaseski-1.jpg?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a></header>
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<div class="col-8">
<div class="posts__body">
<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/go-toward-what-hurts/">Go Toward What Hurts</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Frank Ostaseski shares experiences from his decades working with dying people and those who are dealing with the death of loved ones. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/go-toward-what-hurts/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Frank Ostaseski</li>
<li class="posts__date">July 5, 2017</li>
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<header class="posts__header"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/4-tips-for-emotional-well-being-while-staying-at-home/"><img src="https://cdn.mindful.org/4-tips-for-emotional-well-being-at-home.jpg?q=80&fm=jpg&fit=crop&w=500&h=375" /></a>
<div class="posts__badge">
<div class="posts__badge__label">Well-Being</div>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/4-tips-for-emotional-well-being-while-staying-at-home/">4 Tips for Emotional Well-Being While Staying at Home</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">These pandemic days at home aren’t easy. Poet Tanya Davis reminds us that we’re not alone, and inner resilience is always available to us. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/4-tips-for-emotional-well-being-while-staying-at-home/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Amber Tucker</li>
<li class="posts__date">October 23, 2020</li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</article>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org/5-ways-mindfulness-can-help-us-work-through-grief/">5 Ways Mindfulness Can Help Us Work Through Grief</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org">Mindful</a>.</p>
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Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-64970742101076888732020-10-30T11:07:00.001-07:002020-10-30T11:07:30.619-07:00Instruction and Meditation: Pathway to Non-Doing Presence (41:30 min.)<hr class="wp-block-separator" />
<p>While meditation begins with purposeful collecting of attention, it leads to non-doing presence, to Being. In this guided practice, we arrive in presence through a body scan and attention to the breath, open the attention to changing experience, and then explore the freedom of not controlling anything, and letting life be just as it is.</p>
<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-pathway-non-doing-presence/">Instruction and Meditation: Pathway to Non-Doing Presence (41:30 min.)</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.tarabrach.com">Tara Brach</a>.</p>
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from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8196908 https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-pathway-non-doing-presence/<br />
Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-14915522985641559912020-10-29T18:07:00.003-07:002020-10-29T18:07:04.972-07:00Kind Communication Is Easier Than You THINK<p>We’ve all had the experience of saying something we regret, wishing the floor would swallow us up whole, or momentarily wishing we were flexible enough from yoga to literally insert our foot into our mouth. But beyond blunders and bloopers, we’ve all struggled to effectively communicate and be heard by others. If you are reading this, you may be wondering when and whether mindfulness can help.</p>
<p>Mindful and <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/stop-go-wait/" target="_blank">compassionate speaking</a> isn’t just an ethical choice—mindful speech is simply more effective. What’s more, these guidelines are useful online, where anonymity and impulsivity can bring out less than the best in humanity. Practicing mindful speech may prove challenging, but the rewards of effective and positive communication that causes less harm to everyone are well worth it.</p>
<blockquote class="wp-block-quote">
<p>Mindful and compassionate speaking isn’t just an ethical choice—mindful speech is simply more effective.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>While mindfulness can’t prevent every interpersonal oops, nor mend every political rift, we can follow a few guidelines for more mindful speech both online and off. </p>
<h3>THINK: 5 Tips for Mindful Speech</h3>
<p>Mindfulness wisdom often recommends reflecting on whether what we are about to say is true, kind, gentle, and timely. Here, I’ve adapted the popular mnemonic tool THINK (before you speak) with some variations. Many of these guidelines are probably familiar, but I’ve made a few tweaks that I think bring in a bit more mindfulness and compassion to ultimately make us better communicators. </p>
<p>Is it <strong>True</strong>?<br />
Is it<strong> Helpful</strong>?<br />
Am <strong>I </strong>the one to say it? What are the <strong>I</strong>ntentions and <strong>I</strong>mpact?<br />
Is it <strong>Necessary, Now</strong>?<br />
Is it <strong>Kind</strong>?</p>
<h3>T: Is it true?</h3>
<p>First and foremost, we want to speak <em>the </em>truth. In this way, we avoid harming others, and we also are less likely to ensnare ourselves in a web of lies, mistruths and the cognitive dissonance and guilt that come with them. And let’s face it, lying usually comes from an attempt to defend our self-image and identity, also known as our ego, which only creates more unhappiness. </p>
<p>What’s more, starting with a little lie, according to the research, does lead to <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/this-is-your-brain-on-lies/" target="_blank">a slippery slope</a> where it gets more comfortable for our brains to tell bigger and bigger lies. Our limbic “alarm system,” which activates when we tell first a lie, diminishes with each new untruth, leading to more lies and more problems.</p>
<blockquote class="wp-block-quote">
<p>Saying what’s true is more than merely the opposite of lying. It’s the importance of <em>speaking our truth</em>.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>At a more nuanced level, we want to speak important truths, because they might help and inspire others. Saying what’s true is more than merely the opposite of lying. It’s the importance of <em>speaking our truth</em>, and <em>speaking truth to power</em>, which themselves can be revolutionary and empowering acts. This can lead to the political change we’ve seen in truth and reconciliation processes around the world, restorative justice work being done in many of our communities and schools. It can also lead to social change, as it did in the <em>#metoo</em> movement in which survivors speaking their truth inspired millions to speak their truths and shake the foundations of how our culture perpetuates abuse.</p>
<h3>H: Is it helpful? </h3>
<p>Before we speak, we can reflect on whether it will actually be of benefit to anyone, including ourselves. One of my own habits I’m trying to break is <a href="https://www.mindful.org/gossip-awareness-do-you-have-it/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">gossiping</a>. Gossip about others might be true, but it’s rarely helpful and often harmful. Even bragging might be true, but if it’s helpful at all, it’s only helpful to us—and more likely annoying and alienating to others. The same is true when we offer certain kinds of feedback to those around us: The words we choose might very well be true, but they might not exactly be helpful. Are you really in a situation right now where it is helpful to point out that the weather is lousy, or the traffic is bad?</p>
<h3>I: Am I the one to say it? </h3>
<p>Some statements may be true, and helpful—yet it may not be our business to give voice to them. As a therapist, I often <em>am </em>the one to say it, but with other roles in my life, I’m not. Gentle feedback might be better received from a coach than from a parent, and I’m certainly not going to be the one to teach my son calculus. On the other hand, I am often the best person to explain something emotionally challenging or to break bad news to my own family. </p>
<p>Sometimes we wonder if we are the one to speak up about an issue, so as to be an “upstander” rather than a “bystander.” Wise reflection helps us discern that as hard as it may be, it is our job to speak up. Still, the challenge can come in knowing if we are being baited or trolled into a fruitless keyboard battle or dinner-table debate, which is when these other “I” guidelines may help: <strong><a href="https://www.mindful.org/4-ways-to-awaken-your-intention/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">What is my intention,</a> and what was my impact? </strong>While impact may be unpredictable, we would do well to reflect on it in our speech, as well as reflecting on the personal intention behind what we’re itching to say.</p>
<h3>N Is it Necessary, and is Now the time? </h3>
<p>Even when other guidelines work, we might still ask ourselves if what we want to say is actually <em>necessary</em>. We can <strong>WAIT</strong>, a helpful mnemonic I learned in my training as a therapist, and simply ask ourselves <strong>W</strong>hy <strong>A</strong>m <strong>I</strong> <strong>T</strong>alking?</p>
<p>Sometimes, the most mindful speech of all is no speech, but rather restraint of keyboard and tongue, or simply listening. Besides, we might also communicate through our body language and facial microexpressions in ways more revealing than our words. More of what we really mean might get across if we bite our tongue for a minute or two. </p>
<p>All too often, we speak just to fill the space or alleviate our anxiety about silence with idle chatter. A friend may come to us seeking support, and in many cases the reality is that the best form of support is <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/listen-like-its-your-first-date/" target="_blank">our silent and compassionate presence</a>. It may be our ability to fully and mindfully listen and validate, rather than offering a solution that helps most. How much do we really <em>have </em>to say, at all? Experiment with using fewer words, and see the results.</p>
<blockquote class="wp-block-quote">
<p>It is also in our silences and pauses in conversation that we create the space for budding insights and ideas to emerge.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Silence is all too rare in our busy world, yet remains an opportunity for an intimate moment. We used to joke in my family that for my grandmother, the opposite of speaking was waiting, rather than listening. It is also in our silences and pauses in conversation that we create the space for budding insights and ideas to emerge.</p>
<p>Also keep in mind that timing is everything. Is having the “drugs/sex talk” with your kids more helpful before or after they’ve begun experimenting? There’s a time for everything, and science backs this up: Researchers have examined the best times for things like asking for a raise, or when we tend to have the most effective work meetings.</p>
<h3>K: Is it Kind?</h3>
<p>In the end, feedback will be best received if it’s presented in a way that’s patient and kind. When someone is feeling attacked, their fight-or-flight response overrides their ability to take in new information. Under threat real or imagined, our brain shuts down the areas where we take perspective, see the big picture, understand where someone else might be coming from, and access our critical interpersonal and communication skills. Harsh words or tone may change how someone is acting in the moment, but often lead to collateral damage, and rarely do they create change in the long term.</p>
<p>Another aspect of kindness to consider is whether our conversation is ultimately positive or negative. I’ve noticed in myself and others that it’s often easier to default to negativity than positivity, especially when we are trying to connect. We tend to think of adolescents as being dismissive of everything, yet as adults we’re not always much more mature in this regard, as we often grumble to each other about spouses or supervisors rather than focusing on the positive as a means of connection. </p>
<p>As a challenge, try paying attention to this in your regular interactions, whether they are on the whole more positive or more negative. The answer might surprise you. Here, the old adage “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” is worth examining—see what arises in that quiet. </p>
<p>Now, let’s see if we can get the WAIT and THINK guidelines in place before the results of the US election!</p>
<h3>Ready to walk the mindful talk? Here are some final questions to consider:</h3>
<ul>
<li>How might these guidelines be helpful in your personal life around difficult conversations? How about in your work life?</li>
<li>Do any of these THINK guidelines stand out to you, as areas that might need more attention from you? Why do you think that is?</li>
<li>How much of your speech involves talking about other people? </li>
<li>Try bringing more space to your conversations, between your words, and between your responses with the other person and see what you notice.</li>
<li>In conversation, how much do you connect with others around positive things (as opposed to negative topics or comments)? </li>
</ul>
<h2 class="wp-block-mindful-section-header heading heading--section heading--left has-black-text"><span>read more</span></h2>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/how-you-can-help-others-by-practicing-mindfulness/">How You Can Help Others by Practicing Mindfulness</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Research shows that meditating benefits everyone around you—whether you’re in the same household or connecting virtually. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/how-you-can-help-others-by-practicing-mindfulness/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Christopher Willard</li>
<li class="posts__date">March 27, 2020</li>
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<div class="posts__badge__label">Daily Practices</div>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/having-a-tough-conversation-try-the-reset-practice/">Having a Tough Conversation? Try the Reset Practice</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">It’s not always the case that our formal mindfulness practice carries seamlessly into daily life—especially in conversations that spark tension. Shalini Bahl-Milne offers a practice to help you ensure you can be mindfully present for these difficult moments. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/having-a-tough-conversation-try-the-reset-practice/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
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<li class="posts__author">Shalini Bahl-Milne</li>
<li class="posts__date">October 7, 2020</li>
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<div class="posts__badge__label">Voices</div>
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<h2 class="posts__heading"><a href="https://www.mindful.org/how-kindness-can-get-lost-in-communication/">How Kindness Can Get Lost in Communication</a> </h2>
<p class="posts__excerpt">Founding Editor Barry Boyce muses on the messiness of communicating, and how finding the deeper meanings of words may require some inner searching. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/how-kindness-can-get-lost-in-communication/" class="posts__readmore"><span>Read More</span> <img src="/assets/img/arrow-right.svg" class="icon icon-arrow-right" alt="" /></a></p>
<ul class="posts__meta">
<li class="posts__author">Barry Boyce</li>
<li class="posts__date">September 17, 2020</li>
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<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org/kind-communication-is-easier-than-you-think/">Kind Communication Is Easier Than You THINK</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org">Mindful</a>.</p>
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Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-61399885998977004572020-10-29T18:07:00.001-07:002020-10-29T18:07:02.860-07:00Meditation: Suffering and Compassion (8:07 min.)<hr class="wp-block-separator" />
<p>This brief meditation is a version of the Tibetan Tonglen practice: With the support of the breath we allow ourselves to open to the realness of suffering, and then offer it into a boundless heartspace…a shared and compassionate awareness.</p>
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<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-suffering-compassion/">Meditation: Suffering and Compassion (8:07 min.)</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.tarabrach.com">Tara Brach</a>.</p>
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Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-19028934119594292722020-10-27T19:07:00.001-07:002020-10-27T19:07:04.903-07:00A 15-Minute Meditation for Patience and Resolve<p>One of the greatest challenges, even in the best of times, is developing a sense of patience and <a href="https://www.mindful.org/three-practices-to-find-calm-and-equanimity/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">equanimity</a> in the face of uncertainty and <a href="https://www.mindful.org/how-we-can-thrive-within-discomfort/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">discomfort</a>. Life can frequently be uncertain and changing. Things that we don’t want to happen often do, and things that we want to happen sometimes don’t. What we can affect the most in ourselves is how we relate to that ongoing experience. </p>
<p>Meditation itself directly urges the development of this type of patience. It’s not that we’re relaxed every time we <a href="https://www.mindful.org/how-to-meditate/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">sit to meditate</a>, it’s often quite challenging. Our bodies or our minds can feel a sense of discomfort or unrest. And then for a few minutes, we actively practice noting that experience and letting it be. Instead of relying on our typical actions or thoughts or habits, we <a href="https://www.mindful.org/meditation-start-here/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">pay attention</a> to whatever might trigger us and choose to let go of the hook instead. Other times we may decide that there is something skillful to be done, but for a few minutes we practice patience with whatever is causing us discomfort in this moment. </p>
<h2>A Guided Meditation to Build Patience</h2>
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<h3 class="podcast__heading">A 15-Minute Meditation for Patience and Resolve</h3>
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<p>1. <strong>Find a comfortable posture to sit in now.</strong> Sitting upright and alert, bring a sense of strength and comfort to your body. Drop your gaze and either shut your eyes or leave them partly open. </p>
<p>2. <strong>Begin to notice that with each breath there’s a physical movement of your body.</strong> Notice the rising and falling of your belly or your chest. Or notice the air moving in and out of your nose and mouth. </p>
<p>3. <strong>Your mind will most likely stay busy and sensations may take over in your body</strong>—like the heaviness or <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-meditation-to-label-difficult-emotions/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">charge of certain emotions</a>. And through all of it, note whatever you observe. Then bring your attention back to the breath. See if you can bring a sense of ease and calm to the next few breaths. </p>
<p>4. <strong>Expand your awareness now to sensations in your body as a whole.</strong> There might be a sense of discomfort, a physical sense of restlessness, or maybe an arising itch. You may notice that there’s a sense of <a href="https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-and-pain-management-start-here/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">physical pain</a> somewhere in your body. If something feels urgent or too painful, practice intention and make an adjustment. This practice always allows for taking care of yourself.</p>
<p>5. <strong>Without pushing yourself or causing yourself extra pain or discomfort, see if it’s possible to observe these sensations</strong> and let go. Practice staying patient with the discomfort in your body while staying in touch with a sense of <a href="https://www.mindful.org/how-to-train-the-compassionate-brain/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">care and compassion</a>. If something needs to be done to take care of yourself, allow yourself that kindness. </p>
<p>6. <strong>Now expand your awareness to thoughts.</strong> Our mind makes thoughts constantly throughout our entire life. Many of those might feel uncomfortable or anxiety-provoking or <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/tara-brach-rain-mindfulness-practice/" target="_blank">overwhelming</a>. As meditation teacher <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.mindful.org/3-ways-build-sustainable-meditation-practice/" target="_blank">Joseph Goldstein</a> often says, we frequently get on the wrong train and ride those thoughts. So for the next few moments, observe your thoughts and note them: thoughts of the future, thoughts of the past, rumination, discomfort. </p>
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<p>As meditation teacher Joseph Goldstein often says, we frequently get on the wrong train and ride those thoughts.</p>
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<p>7. <strong>Then with a sense of resolve, focus on the next breath or two.</strong> Either continue to note thoughts and let them go, or shift your awareness to emotions. Emotions are part of our moment-to-moment experience that’s not fully under our control. The art and skill of managing our emotions requires awareness of them. And yet, often <a href="https://www.mindful.org/what-people-who-trigger-us-tell-us-about-ourselves/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">emotions feel like triggers</a>. It’s like we’re hooked and we must do something about them. </p>
<p>8. <strong>For the next part of the practice, see if you’re able to let go of that hook.</strong> Acknowledge your emotional state whether you feel <a href="https://www.mindful.org/habits-happiness-linked/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">happy</a>, <a href="https://www.mindful.org/how-to-navigate-sadness-mindfully/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">sad</a>, <a href="https://www.mindful.org/youre-overwhelmed-and-its-not-your-fault" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">overwhelmed</a>, <a href="https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-meditation-anxiety/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">anxious</a>, <a href="https://www.mindful.org/feeling-angry-try-this/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">angry</a>, <a href="https://www.mindful.org/how-to-settle-the-mind/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">unsettled</a>. Maybe bring a sense of compassion to this part of the practice and remind yourself that all of us struggle at times. Note the emotion if it triggers thoughts or an urge to take action. Then, return to the anchor of your breath. </p>
<p>9. <strong>For the last few minutes of the practice, expand your awareness to take in the entirety of your experience.</strong> With each in-breath, welcome a sense of open awareness. <em>This is how things are for me right now.</em> Take it all in with a sense of acceptance, awareness, and clarity. </p>
<p>10. <strong>With each out-breath, offer yourself whatever wishes feel most appropriate in this moment.</strong> <em>May I find my strength and resolve. May I be happy and healthy.</em> <a href="https://www.mindful.org/find-loving-kindness-phrases/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Find whatever words capture your wishes for yourself</a> in this moment. </p>
<p>11. <strong>As the practice ends, notice any tendency for your mind to leap forward into the future or any urge to jump off your meditation seat</strong>. Come back again to each breath. With a sense of intention and resolve, choose when to end your practice, and continue on with the rest of your day. </p>
<h2 class="wp-block-mindful-section-header heading heading--section heading--left has-black-text"><span>read more</span></h2>
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<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org/a-15-minute-meditation-for-patience-and-resolve/">A 15-Minute Meditation for Patience and Resolve</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org">Mindful</a>.</p>
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Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-87368707752357996002020-10-26T19:07:00.001-07:002020-10-26T19:07:28.119-07:00Watching Trains: A Calming Breath Practice for Kids<p>Today, we’re going to go to a train station together. But we’re not going to get on any of the trains. Our journey will be into ourselves. We’ll stay in the station with our breath, and in our bodies, and just watch the different trains come and go.</p>
<p>Like our train of thoughts, we want to notice the train, acknowledge it, or wave to it, and then let it go. The trains might have exciting things on them like toys, games, candy, or birthday cake, but you still want to stay in the station. Breathe in, breathe out, meet this moment as if it were a friend. So, let’s begin.</p>
<h2>A 5-Minute Stay In the Station Meditation</h2>
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<li> <strong>To start, breathe in for three seconds and out for five seconds.</strong> It’s important to count our <a href="https://www.mindful.org/a-mindful-kids-practice-the-breath-ball/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">out-breath and our in-breath</a>, and to breathe in for three and out for five—breathing out longer than we breathe in. This helps calm our bodies. </li>
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<li><strong>Let’s try, breathing in one, two, three.</strong> Breathing out one, two, three, four, five. As you sink into your breath, there’s a lot around you that <a href="https://www.mindful.org/helping-children-embrace-big-emotions/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">might distract you</a>. A train comes rushing by.</li>
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<li><strong>You might get distracted, but you can always come back to your breath</strong> and stay in the station. Don’t get on that train. Here we go. Again, breathing in one, two, three. Breathing out one, two, three, four, five. Let’s try it again. Breathing in… breathing out. Again, breathing in… breathing out.</li>
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<li><strong>Did you hear that?</strong> You might hear bells and whistles, but you can stay with your breath. Stay in the station. Breathing in… breathing out. </li>
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<li><strong>May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe and strong, may you be calm.</strong> <a href="https://www.mindful.org/kindness-practice-families-christopher-willard/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">May all beings be happy</a>, may all beings be healthy, may all beings be safe and strong, may all beings be calm. Breathing in… breathing out.<br /></li>
<li>I<strong>‘m going to be silent for a few moments.</strong> I want you to stay with your breath.</li>
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<p>Stay in the station. Don’t get on that train of thoughts, meet this moment as if it were your friend, you can wave to the thoughts, let them go. Anytime you need to, you can come back to your breath. It’s always with you. </p>
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<p><em>Excerpted from <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/645962/meditation-station-by-susan-b-katz/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Meditation Station</a> by Susan B. Katz.</em></p>
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<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org/watching-trains-a-calming-breath-practice-for-kids/">Watching Trains: A Calming Breath Practice for Kids</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.mindful.org">Mindful</a>.</p>
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from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8196908 https://www.mindful.org/watching-trains-a-calming-breath-practice-for-kids/<br />
Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9195688298532223022.post-24964613843692784262020-10-23T21:07:00.001-07:002020-10-23T21:07:06.180-07:00Healing Radicalized Trauma: A Conversation with Resmaa Menakem and Tara Brach<hr class="wp-block-separator" />
<p>The body is where our instincts reside and where we fight, flee, or freeze, and it endures the trauma inflicted by the ills that plague society. Resmaa Menakem speaks in a compelling way how this destruction will continue until Americans learn to heal the generational anguish of white body supremacy, and create a truly anti-racist culture. This conversation includes a powerful and provocative guided reflection.</p>
<p>Resmaa’s new book:<a href="https://centralrecoverypress.com/product/my-grandmothers-hands-racialized-trauma-and-the-pathway-to-mending-our-hearts-and-bodies-paperback"> <em>My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies</em>, is available here.</a></p>
<p><a href="https://centralrecoverypress.com/product/my-grandmothers-hands-racialized-trauma-and-the-pathway-to-mending-our-hearts-and-bodies-paperback" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><em>My Grandmother’s Hands</em></a> is a call to action for all of us to recognize that racism is not only about the head, but about the body, and introduces an alternative view of what we can do to grow beyond our entrenched radicalized divide.</p>
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<p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.tarabrach.com/healing-radicalized-trauma-resmaa-menakem/">Healing Radicalized Trauma: A Conversation with Resmaa Menakem and Tara Brach</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.tarabrach.com">Tara Brach</a>.</p>
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from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8196908 https://www.tarabrach.com/healing-radicalized-trauma-resmaa-menakem/<br />
Mindful Creationhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08390943093743452792noreply@blogger.com0