Sunday, 15 March 2020

Anxiety is Also Contagious. Here’s How to Calm Down

The old proverb about living in “interesting times” needs an update. These days, we are living in “anxious” times. Nonstop news about a deadly virus spreading across the country, impending weeks of mass disruption and social distancing has us all on edge.

To help us gain perspective and maybe even reclaim some calm, Mindful’s Content Director Anne Alexander talked with mindfulness expert and psychiatrist, Dr. Judson Brewer, Director of Research and Innovation, Mindfulness Center, at the Brown University School of Public Health. Dr. Brewer has been researching how app-based mindfulness can help calm anxious minds for several years.

Anne: As a psychiatrist, can you explain a bit about what’s going on in our brains as we absorb the fact that we are all in the midst of a global pandemic? 

Dr Jud: I’d like to say that we can absorb that or any facts for that matter, but in fact, it is really hard to absorb any information when we’re stressed or anxious.

When we’re really stressed or anxious, our thinking brains go offline, and we go into survival mode. Intellectual information doesn’t stick because we’re busy running away from the danger. Only when our brains perceive safety does our thinking part of the brain (prefrontal cortex) come back online. That’s when we can rationally plan for the future.

Part of this has to do with how our brains aren’t set up to store new information when we’re anxious. We learn from fearful situations, but that learning comes in the form of changing our behaviors in the future. Ironically, it’s like saltwater: we are thirsty for information but the more we drink, the thirstier we get.

Anne: Is that why so many of us are stocking up 48 rolls of toilet paper and buying cases of Spam? 

Dr Jud: Yes, absolutely. When we’re at home, our prefrontal cortices are working properly, so we can make a reasonable grocery and supplies list. When we get to the grocery store, we see everybody running around panicked, and suddenly we join in.

The scientific term for this is “social contagion.” Basically, it is the spread of emotion from one person to another. Think of it as someone sneezing panic on your brain. Each time you come into contact with someone who is anxious –and anxiety is even more contagious on social media because each scroll is like being touched by someone– you are more likely to catch the panic bug.

Anne: What can we do about it? How do we find that line between preparedness and panic?

Dr Jud: Knowing how our brains work is the first step. Simply seeing that we are panicking is a good step forward. After that we can use simple mindfulness practices, like taking a few conscious breaths or otherwise grounding ourselves in our direct experience. Similar to taking our foot off the gas when our car is going out of control, mindful awareness helps us ground in the present moment, which helps our minds stop racing off into the future with worry or catastrophic thinking.

Anne: What if I see someone with 24 cans of chili in their cart and I suddenly want to buy the same even though my pantry is pretty well stocked already?

Dr Jud: Here grounding in our direct experience is really helpful. For example, someone in a meditation group I used to lead at Yale University came up with a very simple reminder for himself: feel your feet. He struggled with taking conscious breaths, so whenever he noticed that his mind was starting to race out of control, he’d simply say to himself “feel your feet” which would help him ground in the present moment. This is a great mindfulness practice.

We can also simply ground in seeing or hearing something outside –nature is great for this—simply noticing the feel of the sun on our face, or look at the bark or leaves on a tree, or simply listen to the birds for 30 seconds is really grounding.

Anne: You’re a habit change expert. How do I stop touching my face?

Dr Jud: If touching our face is a habit, we can start by recognizing moments when we touch our face. Then we can even hack into our brain’s reward system to break the habit, not by force (willpower is seated in the prefrontal cortex, so not reliable), but instead by finding how unrewarding it is to touch our face (the thought that “oh, I might catch something” is pretty unpleasant). This helps our brains start to look for what I call the Bigger Better Offer: finding behaviors that are more rewarding. Good hand hygiene is pretty rewarding (especially now) when each time we habitually touch our face, we can think back and remember that we’ve just washed our hands etc. Here’s a short animation that explains this process a bit more:

Anne: How do I stop my fears, many of which feel really real, from snowballing – Oh, no! My hand sanitizer is running low, my job is in jeopardy, my kids are at risk, Grandma might die.…

Dr Jud: This is the beauty of mindfulness. It helps us stop these thoughts from snowballing. In fact, we just finished two clinical studies with an app-based mindfulness training (Unwinding Anxiety), in which we found a 57% reduction in anxiety in anxious physicians, and a 63% reduction in people with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. The mindfulness app was geared at helping people map out anxiety and fear habit loops, and replace their habitual behaviors of worry etc. with short, in-the-moment mindfulness practices. If we all practice mindfulness short moments, many times a day, we can build good “mental immunity” to stress, anxiety and panic.

Anne: You often talk about training your brain to focus on the “bigger better offer.” What do you see is the “bigger better offer” that we can focus on during this pandemic? Is there any silver lining in all of this for us?

Dr Jud: I hope that since we are literally all in this together, that people will see the bigger better offers of helping each other, and we’ll learn that kindness and connection are the only way to move forward, not just now, but in the future.

Anne: Anything else you want to share?

Dr Jud: I wrote an article for the New York Times on how anxiety + social contagion leads to panic (and how mindfulness can help). If anyone is interested, here’s a link.

Before you move on to the next thing, take a moment and breathe:

5-Minute Breathing Meditation

  • 5:00

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Friday, 13 March 2020

Blog ~ Guided Reflection: Bringing RAIN to Difficulty


Download in PDF: Guided Reflection: Bringing RAIN to Difficulty


Guided Reflection: Bringing RAIN to Difficulty

Sitting quietly, close your eyes and take a few full breaths. Bring to mind a current situation in which you feel stuck; one that elicits a difficult reaction such as anger or fear, shame or hopelessness. It may be a conflict with a family member, a chronic sickness, a failure at work, the pain of an addiction, a conversation you now regret. Take some moments to enter the experience—visualizing the scene or situation, remembering the words spoken, sensing the most distressing moments. Contacting the charged essence of the story is the starting place for exploring the healing presence of RAIN.

R: Recognize what is happening. As you reflect on this situation, ask yourself, “What is happening inside me right now?” What sensations are you most aware of? What emotions? Is your mind filled with churning thoughts?

Take a moment to become aware of your “felt sense” of the situation as a whole. Can you feel how the experience is living in your heart and body, as well as in your mind?

A: Allow life to be just as it is. Send a message to your heart to “let be” this entire experience. Find in yourself the willingness to pause and accept that, in these moments that what is…is. You can experiment with mentally whispering words like “yes,” “this belongs,” or “let be.”

You might find yourself saying yes to a huge inner no—to a body and mind painfully contracted in resistance. You might be saying yes to the part of you that is saying, “I hate this!” That’s a natural part of the process.

At this point in RAIN, you are simply noticing what is true, and intending not to judge, push away or control anything you find.

I: Investigate with a gentle attention. Now begin to explore what you are experiencing more closely, calling on your natural interest and curiosity about your inner life. You might ask yourself: What about this most wants my attention? or What most wants my acceptance? Pose your questions gently, your inner voice kind and inviting.

Notice where you feel the experience most distinctly in your body. Are you aware of heat, tightness, pressure, aches, squeezing? When you have found the most intense part of your physical experience, bring it into your face, letting your expression mirror, and even exaggerate, what you are feeling in your body. What emotions are you aware of as you do this? Fear? Anger? Grief? Shame?

As you continue to investigate, you might find it helpful to ask: What am I believing? If this leads to a lot of thinking, drop it. But you might find that a very distinct belief emerges almost as soon as you ask. Do you believe that you are failing in some way? That someone will reject you? That you will not be able to handle whatever is around the corner? That you really are flawed? That you will never be happy? How does this belief live in your body? What are the sensations? Tightness? Soreness? Burning? Hollowness?

As before, send the message of yes or this belongs or let be, allowing yourself to feel the fullness or intensity of the difficult experience. As you contact and allow what is happening, what do you notice? Is there any softening in your body and heart? Can you sense more openness or space? Or does the intention to allow bring up more tension, judgment and fear? Does it intensify or change what you are feeling?

Now ask the place of most difficulty: What do you most need? or How do you want me to be with you? Does this suffering part of you want understanding? Acceptance? Company? Forgiveness? Love?

N: Nurture. Let yourself attend from your most awake and wise heart. As you sense what is needed, what is your natural response? What does this vulnerable place most need to remember, experience or trust? You might offer yourself a wise message, such as I’m sorry, and I love you or Trust your goodness or It’s ok, sweetheart or I’m here, and I’m not leaving. This place might also find touch healing, and you might gently place your hand on your heart.

Feel free to experiment with ways of befriending your inner life–whether through words or touch, images or energy. Discover how your attention might become more intimate and loving.

After the RAIN. As you offer this unconditional, kind presence to your inner life, sense the possibility of relaxing back and being that awareness. Get familiar with the quality of presence that is here. Like an ocean with waves on the surface, feel yourself as the tender, wakeful openness that includes this changing life.

Can you sense how “who you are” is not identified by or hitched to any particular wave of fear or anger or hurt? Can you sense how the waves on the surface belong to your experience, but cannot injure or alter the measureless depth and vastness of your being?

Take some moments, as long as you’d like, to simply rest in this spacious and kind awareness, allowing whatever arises in your body or mind to freely come and go. Know this natural awareness as the innermost truth of what you are.

Adapted from True Refuge by Tara Brach

Practice below and here: Meditation: The RAIN of Compassion (30:00 min.)

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Transcript & Audio ~ Guided Meditation: The Practice of Vipassana (Mindfulness) (15:27 min.)


Download in PDF: Guided Meditation: The Practice of Vipassana (Mindfulness)


The Buddhist practice for developing mindfulness is called vipassana, which means “clear insight” or “seeing clearly” in Pali, the language of the Buddha. What follows is a simple introduction to this practice. 

Find a sitting position that allows you to be alert—spine erect but not rigid—and also relaxed. Close your eyes and rest your hands in an easy, effortless way.

Allow your awareness to scan through your body and, wherever possible, soften and release obvious areas of physical tension. You might very consciously relax in the shoulders. Soften the hands. Relax the belly.

Because we so easily get lost in thoughts, vipassana begins with attention to the breath. Using the breath as a primary anchor of mindfulness helps quiet the mind so that you can be awake to the changing stream of life that moves through you.

As you practice, you might find a different anchor, other than the breath, might be most useful for you. Perhaps sounds or maybe the whole field of bodily sensations – or perhaps both listening to and feeling your moment-to-moment experience. 

What’s important is that your senses are awake and attention with the breath as a home base, or sounds, or sensations, can help you to know that you’re here.

Take a few very full breaths, aware of the inhale filling the lungs, slowly and gently exhaling.

And then allowing your breath to be natural, notice where you most easily detect the breath. You might feel it as it flows in and out of your nose; you might feel the touch of the breath around your nostrils or on your upper lip; or perhaps you feel the movement of your chest or the rising and falling of your abdomen.

Bring your attention to the sensations of breathing in one of these areas, perhaps wherever you feel most distinctly or you might feel a sense of the whole body breathing.

There is no need to control the breath, to grasp or fixate on it. There is no “right” way of breathing. With a relaxed, interested attention, discover what the breath is really like, as a changing experience of sensations.

[pause]

You will find that the mind naturally drifts off into thoughts. Thoughts are not the enemy, and you do not need to clear your mind of thoughts. Rather, you are developing the capacity to recognize when thoughts are happening without getting lost in the story line.

When you become aware of thinking, you might use a soft and friendly mental note: “Thinking, thinking.” Or simply recognize, “This is a thought.” Then, without any judgment, pause and reawaken to the moment – this moment – listening to sounds, feeling the sensations that are here… gently returning to the immediacy of the breath. Let the breath be home base, a place of full presence.

While you might notice other experiences – the sounds of passing cars, feelings of being warm or cool, an image of a future event, sensations of hunger – they can be in the background without drawing you away from hereness – from this moment. Be aware of the difference between being inside a thought, and being awake, senses open, present.

[pause]

If any particular sensations become strong and call your attention, allow those sensations, instead of the breath, to become the primary subject of mindfulness. You might feel heat or chills, tingling, aching, twisting, stabbing, vibrating. With a soft, open awareness just feel the sensations as they are. Are they pleasant or unpleasant?

As you fully attend to them, do they become more intense or dissipate? Notice how they change. When the sensations are no longer a strong experience, return to mindfulness of breathing or perhaps to listening to and feeling your moment-to-moment experience. 

If you find it difficult to stay with persistent, strong sensations – unpleasant sensations – you might breathe with them, let the breath help you find some balance and openness in the midst. Or if the sensations are so unpleasant that you can’t be present with any balance or equanimity, feel free to return to your home base – to your primary place of resting attention – the breath, perhaps listening to sounds.

In a similar way, when strong emotions arise – fear, sadness, happiness, excitement, grief – you can practice meeting each experience with a kind and clear presence, not pushing anything away, not judging, not resisting what is happening. Rather simply notice and allow the experience – just as it is. 

Notice how this fear or hurt or difficult emotion feels like as sensations in your body? Where do you feel it most strongly? Is it static or moving? How big is it? Is there judgment in your mind about what’s happening about the fear or restlessness or irritation? Does your mind feel contracted or open? As you pay attention, just notice what’s happening and let it be just as it is. 

In this present, allowing awareness, notice how the emotion changes. Does it become more intense or weaken? Does it change into a different state?  Perhaps anger to grief?  Or happiness to peace?

If the emotion is strong – is difficult to be with it, you might breathe with it, and if it feels overwhelming, come back to your breath, to the home base that allows you to relax with the present moment.

If you are confused about where to pay attention or if the emotion is no longer compelling, again relax wakefully with the breath or perhaps listening to or feeling the moment to moment experience.

[pause]

The particular sensations, emotions or thoughts that arise when we practice mindfulness are not so important. Like the outer weather, there is no inherent goodness or badness to these inner states. What matters is our willingness to be awake, regardless of the weather. It is this unconditional presence that reveals the nature of reality. 

Continue to be here… and especially if the mind is not so distracted, you might let go of any anchors for attention and explore not controlling anything – not directing the mind – not managing or manipulating your attention in any way.

Let your senses be wide open – listening to and feeling the entire moment.

When any experience calls your attention – perhaps strong sensations or emotions – notice and allow this experience of aliveness to be as it is. 

Allow what is happening to unfold in an awake, open awareness.

[bell]

Adapted from Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance, page 46 to 48.

Listen to audio recording below…

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Seven Ways to Navigate Emotional Turbulence

No matter how hard we try, we can’t prevent our moods from changing. Fluctuating emotions are a part of being human. While it may be difficult to understand what causes mood shifts, we can choose to meet them with openness and awareness. In this video from The School of Life, philosopher Alain de Botton explains seven ways to ride the constant change of your moods.

How to navigate emotional turbulence

1. Accept your vulnerability

Acknowledge how vulnerable you and your moods are to seemingly small things, like snide remarks or lousy weather. Sensitivity is no cause for shame. Even though your skin may not be as thick as you would like it to be, you shouldn’t feel less than because of your emotions.

2. Edit your social life

Friends that impact your well-being can definitely affect your moods. It’s important to accept that you may have some relationships that are more difficult than others. Consider distancing yourself from social situations that cause you stress right now.

3. Cultivate relationships that encourage vulnerability

Often the best cure for a bad mood is surrounding yourself with people that offer support. Turn to friends and family that foster your sense of belonging. The right person will be understanding of your flaws—and may even offer you a glimpse at theirs.

4. Honor your body

Whether we’d like to admit it or not, how long we’ve slept, how much water we’ve drank, and how much we’ve eaten today all play a role in our moods. On some level, everything that goes through your mind is related to what is going on in your body. Take special care of your basic physical needs, and don’t hesitate to check in with yourself as often as possible.

5. Distance yourself from an unpleasant mood

The sooner we realize that we don’t have total control over our moods, the easier it will be to accept their ebb and flow. Each feeling is a passing state of mind—and it is ultimately your choice to acknowledge a mood either as truth that matches your reality, or as a feeling that will pass. Whatever you decide, just know that your current mood does not define you.

6. Be kind to yourself

Now more than ever, self-compassion is key. Give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions have come up throughout the day. Gently remind yourself that you have a right to be wherever you are today, and that your reactions are not unforgivable—they’re simply human.

7. Remember it will pass

How you’re feeling right now—from the highest happiness, to the lowest despair—is never permanent. Even though we don’t usually have the ability to shift a mood on command, we can notice it and realize that it won’t last forever. Instead of striving to escape your current mood, you can observe those emotions with kindness and trust that it will shift again, as it always does.

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Thursday, 12 March 2020

Guided Heart Meditation: Loving Kindness – Befriending our Lives (27:22 min.)


This heart meditation guides us in how to cultivate a deep quality of friendliness in relating to our inner life and each other. The gift of this practice is a direct sense of belonging – knowing that we can never be alone (retreat meditation).

“My soul tells me, we were
all broken from the same nameless
heart, and every living thing
wakes with a piece of that original
heart aching its way into blossom.
This is why we know each other
below our strangeness, why when
we fall, we lift each other, or when
in pain, we hold each other, why
when sudden with joy, we dance
together. Life is the many pieces
of that great heart loving itself
back together.”

~ Mark Nepo, The Exquisite Risk

Enjoy the meditation with a short talk that introduces Loving Kindness practice here: Short Talk and Guided Heart Meditation – Loving Kindness – Befriending our Lives

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Desire and Addiction (Part 2): Voices of Longing Calling You Home


Dear Friend – As part of the collective response to the CoronaVirus—taking care of each other—Tara has cancelled her live class and recorded this from her home.

Desire is intrinsic to all living forms – the urge to exist and flourish. It turns to suffering when, due to unmet needs, it contracts, intensifies and separates us from our full aliveness and awareness. These two talks guide us in awakening from this trance, and discovering how within desire is the longing that can carry us to true belonging.

All you need is already within you, only you must approach yourself with reverence and love. Self-condemnation and self-distrust are grievous errors. Your constant flight from pain and search for pleasure is a sign of the love you bear for yourself. All I plead with you is this – make love of yourself perfect. Deny yourself nothing. Give yourself infinity and eternity and discover you do not need them. You are beyond. ~ Sri Nisargadatta

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Wednesday, 11 March 2020

How Mindfulness Can Help You Navigate the Coronavirus Panic

Each day, headlines bring news of the coronavirus and the actions people are taking to not get sick. Schools and offices are closing. Travel plans and conferences are getting canceled. There’s been a run on everything from black beans to toilet paper. The stock market is a roller coaster.

As frightening as the virus, is the uncertainty it’s causing. Amid the fear and uncertainty, I’m reminded of why I practice mindfulness.

A fellow meditation teacher recently encouraged her students to check inside and see what all the fear and uncertainty is stirring up. You’ve been training for this, she told them, and now it’s time to use your practice. That’s wise advice, and will remain so as the COVID-19 situation evolves in the days, weeks and likely months ahead. 

Sometimes we think of mindfulness as fluffy and soft. But mindfulness is built for difficulty. It’s like a Hummer without the gas guzzling, capable of traveling over rough terrain while keeping its occupants above ground.

Investigating fear with mindfulness

Lately, I’ve been mindful of the one-to-one correlation between the news I’ve been reading and my own reactivity. Some of it is prompting prudence. I bought a bottle of 409 All Purpose antibacterial cleaner—just in case.

But when I felt apprehensive about going to the gym for a workout, I paused and felt my fear—the heat in my chest, the racing thoughts, and the images of me getting sick. I went to the gym, washing my hands carefully before coming home.

If we’re not mindful of our fear, it will overwhelm us and that’s rarely a good thing. When we face something threatening such as a fast-moving virus, it’s normal to be afraid. This sort of thing is like catnip for our brains, which are hardwired to scan for danger. Reading blaring headlines or watching alarming news about the coronavirus plays into our nature, and not in a good way.

If we’re not mindful of our fear, it will overwhelm us and that’s rarely a good thing.

We can bring mindfulness into the fray to settle our nerves. And we can notice whether binging TV news invites a wise response to forgo a family reunion in a coronavirus hotspot like Seattle or if it’s stirring panic, urging us to line up at Costco before the doors open to buy jumbo rolls of Quilted Northern just in case the end is near, and the only solution is lots and lots (and lots!) of toilet paper.

Whenever fear arises—whether triggered by a mysterious virus or not—we can stop and investigate it. We can learn to see it not as a monolithic feeling, but as a fleeting experience with movable parts—sensations, thoughts, images and so on.

In doing so, we can become intimate with the patterns of our personal brand of fear. We can notice where somatic angst shows up in our body. We can listen to the speed and content of our mental chatter. We can watch images appear in the theater of our mind and more clearly see the story that’s projected.

When fear is mindfully broken down in this way, it becomes workable. It can even wisely inform our next steps. Feeling into the discomfort of uncertainty can birth new perspectives, and having the mental flexibility to consider another option creates an island of safety in the midst of uncertainty.

Mindfulness and the coronavirus

There’s also something wholeheartedly practical about mindfulness and its power to combat a pernicious virus.

We can notice, for example, how often we touch our face. This is something we apparently do more than 20 times an hour and is a sure-fire way to catch a virus, as our hands can pick up coronavirus from hard surfaces and transfer it to our eyes, nose, or mouth. We can make a practice of not touching our face. We also can wash our hands more frequently, noticing the sensations of the warm water and the slippery soap.

Instead of shaking each other’s hands, we can look each other in the eye and send loving-kindness—wishing each other health, safety and peace.

Instead of shaking each other’s hands, we can look each other in the eye and send loving-kindness—wishing each other health, safety and peace. That’s the soft side of mindfulness. And it works in tough times, too. In fact, in stressful times it’s worth leaning into the compassionate side of mindfulness. It’s worth remembering our shared humanity. And it’s particularly worth paying attention to the biases, judgments, and condemnations that arise from fear and separate us from each other.

In many ways, COVID-19 has shown us just how connected and how much the same we really are. All of us—and some of us more than others—are vulnerable to getting sick and none of us wants to become ill. Viewed through the lens of interconnectedness, practicing mindfulness as the coronavirus spreads is not only a way to care for ourselves but a way to care for everyone around us.

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