The Power of Saying Sorry (When You Don’t Want To)

Conflict in relationships is not unusual nor is it always a bad thing. It can be constructive and help you work through issues, but egos can often get in the way of a healthy discussion. When we turn an argument into a critique of our partners we feel bad afterwards, but we don’t always apologize because we fear giving up power in the relationship. In reality, an apology is one of the most powerful ways to reconnect with your partner and seek forgiveness.

This short animation from the London School of Life shows how an apology can make all the difference. Explaining you are sorry for how you acted and explaining how you felt is an important tool for keeping up a healthy relationship.

A sincere and thoughtful apology is a meaningful message to our partners that we care, and an offhand “I’m sorry,” isn’t enough. “All apologies aren’t created equal,” says Christine Carter, a sociologist and happiness expert, “a good apology is something of an art.”

In “The Three Parts of an Effective Apology,” Carter explains what else needs to be said: tell them how you feel, admit your mistake and acknowledge the negative impact, and try to make the situation right. Putting in effort to make reparations shows that you’re apology is genuine.

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