Thursday 30 April 2020

Is Our Breathing Connected to Free Will?

Free will—our ability to decide whether to eat that piece of chocolate, or reach for that extra slice of pizza—has long been a subject of debate. For decades, neuroscientists have insisted that decision-making originates in the brain. Now, a groundbreaking study shows that you’re more likely to initiate a decision that involves free will while you are exhaling—a finding that suggests the body is far more influential in choice-making than originally thought.

At the center of the study is something called “readiness potential”: the firing of brain cells that occurs right before we become aware of our intention to act. More than 50 years ago, researchers discovered that the brain fires before we are consciously aware of the intention to do something (like reaching for pizza). Some interpreted that as evidence that brain activity, not intention, is responsible for decision-making, and that free will is a myth. 

A groundbreaking study shows that you’re more likely to initiate a decision that involves free will while you are exhaling.

In recent years, however, that belief has come under fire as we’ve discovered that much of what happens in the brain begins with information that comes from the body, or interoceptive signals. Some have suggested that brain signals interpreted as readiness potential were actually just physiological “noise” coming from the body. 

How Breathing Influences Choice

To shed some light on this debate, scientists at EPFL (École polytechnique fédérale de Lausanne, a Swiss research institute and university) conducted three computerized experiments. 

In the first trial, 20 adults participated in a computerized test where they pressed a button on a keypad with their right index finger three times every 8-12 seconds. In the second test, a different group of people viewed a red dot going around in a circle and were asked to push a button with their right finger after the dot had gone around the circle once. In the third experiment, the same people who completed experiment 2 were asked to watch a red dot going around in a circle. This time they had to press a button as quickly as they could when a green dot randomly occurred. Participants’ brain and heart activity and respiration were measured during each of these tests, and paired with their computer test performance.In the second test, a different group of people viewed a red dot going around in a circle and were asked to push a button with their right finger after the dot had gone around the circle once.

People in each of these experiments were more likely to initiate voluntary movements while exhaling, which suggests that our ability to freely make decisions may be intricately linked to what is happening in our bodies.

Results of these experiments clearly showed that breathing is directly linked to action. Specifically, people in each of these experiments were more likely to initiate voluntary movements while exhaling. This suggests that our ability to freely make decisions may be intricately linked to what is happening in our bodies, debunking the prevailing theory that neural firing is what gives rise to conscious awareness and free will. 

Just one more reason to pause and take a breath the next time you feel compelled to reach for that chocolate bar. 

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Meditation: Vipassana – Seeing Life As It Is (27:36 min.)

This classic Buddhist meditation trains us to wake up out of thoughts and to attend to our changing experience with a balanced, clear and open presence. Enjoy a bit longer meditation with several quiet pauses.

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Wednesday 29 April 2020

4 Ingredients for Human Well-Being

During my first day of graduate school to become a psychologist, a wise, mischievous, provocative professor said to us: 

Human suffering is often about freedom and containment. When we have too much containment, we scream for freedom. “Let me be me! I need space! Don’t tell me what to do!” But when we have too much freedom, we start to feel adrift. Fearful. Lost in space… and suddenly we are longing for containment. “Hold me close! I need to feel safe!”  

My years of work as a therapist, professor, and community member—did I mention that I live in a cooperative household of eight adults?—have made the wisdom of this insight so clear to me. Our interpersonal upsets and inner pain are so frequently a form of rebelling against too much containment (“Don’t fence me in!”) or protesting not enough contact or security (“Where did you GO?”)

What does all of this have to do with a global pandemic, social distancing, and the disruption of everything?   

Our everyday social structures have been altered, and some have even (temporarily, at least) evaporated. These structures normally create connection: in meetings and at the water cooler at work, in class and at the playground at school, at the gym and the coffee shop. Importantly, they also create distance: We say goodbye to our partners and kids in the morning, and we greet them again in the evening. All of this happens automatically, without much effort on our parts. And while we like to rail against these structures (“Same old, same old, every day”), when they are suddenly removed, people respond in interesting ways. 

Three Ways People React to the Sudden Loss of Normal

  • Some may initially delight in newfound freedom—the removal of constraint. “I can do whatever I want to! Netflix, PJ’s, and chocolate all day!” It’s delicious—for a moment. 
  • Others might be initially terrified by newly imposed constraints. Children home all day every day. Spouses suddenly inhabiting the same space 24/7. No more trips to the gym, a restaurant, a library; many of our local parks are even off-limits. “I gotta get out of here. I can’t breathe!”
  • Still others are feeling anxiety, or even terror, about the sudden, yawning horizon of solitude. No social events, no classes, no sports . . . just aloneness. “Is anybody out there? What will I DO with all this time?” 

It’s normal to stagger when the old structures are swept away.

Whatever our first reaction, most of us are likely feeling the creeping presence of something we typically like to avoid. An emotion, a persistent mood, a relationship, a life challenge that is neatly tucked away into the background, until it’s not—and its emergence is unnerving, unwelcome, and sometimes downright terrifying. 

Four Universal Elements of Health and Well-Being 

 It’s normal to stagger when the old structures are swept away. And today we have the opportunity (and, frankly, the imperative) to create new norms and daily habits. Intentionally. By design. For our well-being, and the well-being of our families and communities, we are called upon to actually generate sustainable structures that produce sanity, health, and human thriving. 

How? At Open Source Wellness—of which I am Co-Founder and Executive Director—we start by creating daily structures around a “Universal Prescription” for health and well-being: Move, Nourish, Connect, Be. 

Whether we’re in generally good health or struggling with chronic physical or psychological challenges, every person needs these four things, every day:

1. Move. Our bodies need to move. Every day. They need to stretch, reach, twist, bend, step, sweat, to whatever degree works for our unique shapes and constitutions.

2.  Nourish. A balanced and nutritious meal sets us up for steady energy, mood, and motivation throughout the day. This doesn’t mean banning or outlawing the small treats that bring us joy, but rather setting up a daily meal structure that fills our bellies with nourishing, healthy foods.

3. Connect. We need to feel seen, heard, and understood by other people—and to extend the same to them in return. The developer and philanthropist James Rouse famously said, “A healthy community is a garden to grow people in.” We can create community as medicine for ourselves, our families, and our societies.

4. Be. Amidst all the “doing”—the preparing, protecting, adjusting, coping, responding, providing, procuring—humans need moments to simply BE. We need to pause, regularly and long enough to let our nervous system come back to baseline.

Take the Quiz: Where are you on a scale from frazzled to balanced? 

How are you doing with each of the four aspects of the “Universal Prescription?” 

First, grab a pen and your journal (or a piece of paper). Try rating each aspect (Move, Connect, Nourish, and Be) on a scale from 1-10, with 1 being “I’m nowhere near meeting my goals for this,” and 10 being “I’m feeling great about this, and my behavior is totally aligned with my values.” 

Remember, the aim of this quiz isn’t to judge yourself—it’s simply to be honest about where you are, so you can make informed choices.

Also, as you do this personal wellbeing assessment for yourself, what do you notice? Which of these four practices do you incorporate effortlessly, as a part of your daily routine? Which ones might need a bit more attention, more practice, more cultivation? You might also add a line for each aspect about why you gave the rating you did, and one small, concrete experiment you could try to see if it makes a difference!

1. Where are you with your movement goals?(1 on your scale might be “Um… What movement goals?” while 10 might be “I’m rocking my daily movement practice and feel great about it!”

2. How are you eating lately?(1 being “Oh dear. Strictly gummy bears and soda for the past 2 weeks,” and 10 being “This is the healthiest I’ve ever eaten!” 

3. How are you doing with connectingand finding strength in a sense of community? (1 being, perhaps, “I’ve completely lost touch with the people who are important to me,” while 10 could be “I feel connected, nourished, supported, and uplifted in my connections.”) 

4. How well are you tuning in to your inner peace and caring for your well-being? (1 being “Pause? No way, I don’t have time for that,” and 10 being “I am checking in with myself regularly and using the practices or habits that give me space just to be here for me.”) 

Now, take a look at your results

Where are you today, and where would you like to be?

If your scores fall between 1 and 5: I would invite you to start first with compassion. This is a crazy time, and it makes so much sense that wellness practices are not the top of your list! Bring as much kindness, gentleness, forgiveness, and even humor as you can to this moment. Then, see where you can get curious. What would a small next step towards well-being be? 

If your scores fall between 5 and 10: I invite you to take a moment to acknowledge and appreciate what you’ve been doing—in a pandemic, no less! Take a deep breath, give yourself a smile, and when you’re ready, get curious!  What small step would take your well-being from good to great?  

This time is an opportunity to get intentional. To choose, rather than to drift.

 As a bonus, try sharing your wellness assessment with a family member or friend. Share what’s true for you, ask about them, and see how you might provide some mutual support and accountability for your next steps. 

And as an example, here’s mine for today: 

1.    Move: Where am I with my movement goals? 7 

  • Why?  I have a pretty good morning movement routine, but a minor injury has me feeling less strong than I’d like.
  • Next Step: Find a YouTube video of a 10-minute indoor workout, and try it tomorrow morning! 

2.    Nourish: How am I eating lately? 6

  • Why? I’ve mostly been eating foods that make me feel healthy and alive—and then eating some sugary things (hellooo, chocolate! )on top of that, which makes me feel exhausted later in the day. Room for improvement.
  • Next Step: I’ll eat a bit more protein (an egg?) for breakfast, and hold off on chocolate until after 3pm as an experiment, tomorrow. 

3.    Connect: How am I doing with connecting? 6

  • Why? I’m lucky to have housemates to chat informally with throughout the day, but I miss deeper connection. Also, being single and sheltering-in-place is not optimal!! (That said, my partnered friends aren’t reporting that it’s a cake walk, either!)
  • Next Step: 
  • Schedule deeper, one-on-one conversations by phone this week with two friends.  

4.    Be: How am I doing at taking care of my inner well-being? 4

  • Why? I’m still doing my morning meditation and journaling, but the physical isolation from the rest of the world has my stress level elevated. 
  • Next Step: I’d like to try instituting “Afternoon Veg Time”:  20 minutes of total rest and self-care! 

Finding the Ground Under Our Feet 

It’s a very, very strange time. And while we’re all (appropriately) focused on caring for the physical health of ourselves, our communities, and society at large, our mental, emotional, and social health needs are quickly emerging as profoundly important as well. 

This time is an opportunity to get intentional. To choose rather than to drift. In the absence of everything that normally dictates our days, we are called on to create the freedom along with structure that will support our health and well-being in a time of profound uncertainty. And in case the term “Social Distancing” bums you out as much as it does for me, you might try on “Expansive Solidarity.” We’re in this together . . . spaciously.  

Learn more about Open Source Wellness and sign up to participate in their community-building virtual program, The Well-Being Hour.

Read More

Health

The Missing Wellness Ingredient is Community 

How behavioral pharmacies could address the four wellness factors that fundamentally underlie health and wellbeing: Exercise, Eat Better Reduce Stress, & Connect More. Read More 

  • Elizabeth Markle and Benjamin Emmert-Aronson
  • March 18, 2019


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A Guided S.T.O.P. Practice for Focused Awareness

Mindful@Home is a series of free guided meditations from some of our favorite mindfulness teachers. As they hunker down in their homes, they will be sending peace, calm, and love to you in your home. Tune in to our Facebook page every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 3 p.m. ET for live guided meditations.

In this guided meditation, Rhonda Magee leads us through the S.T.O.P. practice to gently bring focused awareness to what we’re experiencing in this moment. 


The acronym S.T.O.P. encapsulates how mindfulness practice can support us in making the most of opportunities for engagement in the world. Like all mindfulness practices, it has many different applications. It is a simple tool that can support us in being here in a much more lively way with ourselves, opening up to what is coming up for us, right here, right now.

S stands for Stop

Stop what you are doing and if possible, perhaps take a seat. If standing, just pause where you are standing. It’s really about standing in your dignity or sitting in your dignity, to support bringing mindfulness to this moment. As you settle in, breathe in and out, allowing attention to rest on the feeling of the breath as it flows into the body, and out. Feel the nourishment of taking a moment to pause. This first step can be as short as just an instant, or as long as you like. 

T stands for Take a conscious breath

Now, taking one, very slow and conscious breath in, and a full complete breath out, really notice what it’s like to allow your attention to rest on these sensations of breathing. Continuing to take a few very conscious, very intentional breaths. Simply allow yourself to feature the breathing aspect of the experience of this moment, one breath at a time. 

O stands for Observe

What is coming up for you in this moment? The shorthand T.E.S.—thoughts, emotions, sensations—can remind you of what you might gently scan for as you observe your experience. 

What kind of thoughts might be arising? Imagine thoughts as being like clouds, moving through the sky of your consciousness, and just note the thoughts as they come up for you. 

Then, what emotions or feelings are present? Is there some discomfort? Some feeling of opening to joy? Whatever is arising is perfectly OK. There is no right or wrong way to feel. Mindfulness is about rolling out this welcome mat, allowing yourself to feel what’s here right now. 

Then, notice sensations: You might feel a tightness around the shoulders, or a sinking feeling in the belly. Whatever is prominent, invite a reflection on the sensations that are coming up for you. The intention is just to create a spacious way of holding the sensations. Yes, these sensations are here right now. 

P stands for Proceed

Finally, when you’re ready, notice the opportunity presented in this moment to proceed, to choose how to move from this place of reflective awareness into engagement. Proceed with presence, all the while holding your experience with kindness, friendliness, and self-compassionate for your experience in this moment. 

When you are ready, transition out of this practice. Feel what it was like, and any way in which that moment of practice may have shifted your experience. Bring awareness to that shift, to help you see just how mindfulness practice is for you. Many teachers use the term “YOU-ru” as opposed to “guru,” which means you can take full ownership of the great opportunity that being alive presents: to deepen your ability to meet whatever is coming up, with more steadfastness, more stamina, more resilience, and more intentionality about how you want to be in the world. 

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Tuesday 28 April 2020

Your First Look at the June 2020 Loving-Kindness Issue

The June 2020 issue of Mindful Magazine features articles to help you deepen your love and compassion—both for yourself and others. From loving-kindness with Sharon Salzberg to connecting with your life’s purpose with Rich Fernandez, you’ll find meaningful practices for everyday life.

Meditation Teacher Sharon Salzberg Talks About the Power of Loving-Kindness


Founding editor Barry Boyce talks with his dear friend Sharon Salzberg about attention, resilience, anger, and the need to be kinder to ourselves and the world.

read more

Excerpt from Sharon Salzberg’s upcoming book Real Change


In this excerpt from her forthcoming book, Real Change, Sharon Salzberg explores how compassion and loving-kindness can both soften and strengthen us.

REad more

What It Means to Have Clear Vision by Rich Fernandez

Learn about how connecting with your purpose can help you to thrive—and explore three key ways to assess if you are aligned with your purpose or not.

read more

Easy Speed by Kelly Barron


Read how swimming taught the author about self-compassion and letting go—healing the wound of overachieving and staying loose in the face of resistance.

Read more

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Monday 27 April 2020

What to Do When Thoughts Arise While Meditating

Q. Sometimes when I’m meditating a thought arises that feels really important. What should I do about important thoughts and ideas that arise while I’m meditating—and what about the irrelevant ones?

A. The essential attitude of a meditator is curiosity. Meditation gives us an opportunity to look at what our minds do when we’re paying attention to them. And what the mind often does is wander off. Try to integrate an attitude of playfulness into your practice. Your practice doesn’t need to be rigid and strict—there can be spontaneity and flexibility. So, your mind wanders. See the thought, touch it—say here’s the thought, spend a moment with it. If it’s important, note that you want to come back to it—feel free to say, in your mind, that’s an important thought, I want to remember it. If it’s irrelevant, note that it’s irrelevant. Either way, very gently bring your attention back to your breath. Gentleness is important here, because what we practice and repeat over time becomes a habit. Consider this: What would the days, weeks, and months ahead be like if you were gentle with yourself? What would be different? When your mind wanders off and you quickly yank it back, it’s worthwhile to go back and say what was that thought again? Take note of it, and practice more gently bringing your attention back.

Read More

Where Does the Path of Mindfulness Lead? 

While there’s no roadmap to wisdom, there is a path to greater perspective, insight, and emotional freedom. Founding editor Barry Boyce calls on his four decades of practice to take us on the journey. Read More 

  • Barry Boyce
  • February 20, 2020

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Sunday 26 April 2020

Meditation: Awakening Through the Animal-Headed Deities (13:48 min.)

This short meditation guides us in engaging with challenging emotions with presence and compassion. By opening to the “deities” we discover an open heartspace that can hold and respond to our hurting world (from the closing meditation of “Sheltering in Love – Part 4”).

Listen to the full talk: Sheltering In Love – Part 4

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Friday 24 April 2020

Sheltering in Love (Part 5): Loneliness as a Portal to Sacred Presence

The root of suffering is the pain of separation, the fears and loneliness that arise when we have forgotten our intrinsic belonging to each other and to all of life. These next two talks look at the epidemic of loneliness predating the pandemic, and how loneliness is exacerbated in our current global crisis for those living alone, and for those feeling disconnected to themselves and others. We then explore how a courageous practice of compassionate presence – with our inner life, and in relationships – can turn the energy of loneliness into a current of healing and freedom.

We can’t really flourish without feeling belonging to a larger source of presence. ~ Tara

Don’t surrender your loneliness so quickly. Let it cut you more deep. Let it ferment and season you as few humans and even divine ingredients can. Something missing in my heart tonight has made my eyes so soft, my voice so tender, my need for God absolutely clear. ~ Hafiz

Enjoy the other parts:
Part 1: https://www.tarabrach.com/sheltering-in-love-pt-1/
Part 2: https://www.tarabrach.com/sheltering-in-love-part-2/
Part 3: https://www.tarabrach.com/sheltering-in-love-part-3/
Part 4: https://www.tarabrach.com/sheltering-in-love-part-4/

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Thursday 23 April 2020

Meditation: Relaxing Back into Natural Awareness (27:09 min.)

In this meditation we are guided to discover the space and aliveness that fills the body, sense the space in the universe, and then to realize our Beingness as continuous space, filled with the light of awareness. When our attention contracts into thoughts, the pathway to awareness is a relaxing back, reopening to the natural openness, silence and stillness of our true nature.

NOTE: Listening carefully, you may hear birds singing in the background, then a gentle rain.

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Finding Opportunities for Insight and Growth During Isolation

For many city dwellers, the physical world has shrunk to the single-digit walls of their apartments. In dense suburbs, postage-stamp-sized backyards have become parks. Getting out for brief walks along the familiar streets of home has become a new form of commuting.

Many among us are suffering now—gravely ill, steeped in grief, or worried sick about how we’ll pay the rent. We’re hunkering down with social distancing, at-home sheltering, and lockdowns as new normals. Tedium is setting in.

As the boundaries of our physical world contract, the limits of our mental, emotional, and spiritual worlds have the potential to expand.

Yet, as the boundaries of our physical world contract, the limits of our mental, emotional, and spiritual worlds have the potential to expand.

Meditation teacher Shinzen Young compassionately suggested to students on an online retreat recently that they could reframe the pandemic predicament of social isolation as a time of seclusion during which their mindfulness practices could deepen. Provided our basic needs get met, such a subtle shift in perspective has the power to lighten our load psychologically.  

How the Creative Greats Have Used Seclusion for Inspiration

For centuries, human beings have used seclusion to birth creativity, for physical, psychological, and spiritual renewal and as a means of understanding fundamental truths about the world.

Great inventors, philosophers, artists, writers, and the like, from Albert Einstein to Harper Lee to Georgia O’Keeffe to James Baldwin to Bill Gates and countless others valued time alone. Often, they contributed their gifts to the world after phases of reflection and solitude. There’s a reason silent retreats are a mainstay of mindfulness practice.

For centuries, human beings have used seclusion to birth creativity, for physical, psychological, and spiritual renewal and as a means of understanding fundamental truths about the world.

Like a good bone broth, sometimes we need to simmer our lives on the stove to uncover the richness within us.

Yesterday, from my open kitchen window, I heard the painful sounds of an inexperienced violinist in my neighborhood struggling to discover the music within her. I thought about the passion projects, the inventions, the new business ideas coming to life during our worldwide hibernation. It also takes relentless creativity to keep kids entertained and engaged all day and to run a household amid shortages, stoppages, and uncertainty.

Thankfully, not all creativity is serious. The other day I got the giggles watching comedian Will Ferrell methodically wash his hands for 20 seconds while singing George Michael’s “Careless Whisper.” My husband is playfully growing his facial hair into a ridiculously retro mustache. So far so good on the home front, but I can do without the 1970s slang he’s tossing around. “Can you dig it?”

Allowing Yourself to Look Deep Within

Seclusion also makes room for renewal and insight. 

My neighbor’s frequent, bi-coastal air travel has halted, allowing him to recoup his energy, and spend more time with the family. A back injury his older son incurred during rowing team practice is mending. His younger son finds Zoom learning more enriching and less distracting than being in a loud classroom.

Perhaps more starkly, when we’re secluded, there are fewer excuses to avoid the inner work that our souls naggingly request. A lot rises to the surface in difficult times—maladaptive ways of coping and harmful behaviors we only dimly see in the rush of our busy routines. If we’re willing and able, we can lovingly turn toward it all and gently begin the work of healing. 

Whenever you feel the fizzy energy of anxiety bubble up, stop and, like a mother attending to a toddler, give it your attention.

  • Take a breath.
  • Put your hand over your heart and soften your belly, giving the anxiety more space to move through you.
  • If it’s all too much, turn your attention away.
  • Feel your feet on the ground, listen to the hum of the heater or turn the on the TV and watch a Hallmark movie. Either way, you’ll have mindfulness as your companion.

The other morning a friend shared that when he was a little boy, he loved to watch his grandfather prune trees, and his memory of it has become a helpful metaphor during the COVID-19 crisis.

He explained that after the pruning, once the trees were down to their bare essence, they entered a period of botanical seclusion and apparent dormancy. But in time, the trees stood tall again—more lush and beautiful in the morning light.

We are in a time of tremendous pruning and seclusion, said my friend.

Let’s hope and trust that when this period ends, we, too, will emerge from our global seclusion more vibrant and beautiful than before.

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Three Practices to Find Calm and Equanimity

Mindful@Home is a series of free guided meditations from some of our favorite mindfulness teachers. As they hunker down in their homes, they will be sending peace, calm, and love to you in your home. Tune in to our Facebook page every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 3 p.m. ET for live guided meditations.

In this guided meditation, resilience expert Linda Graham shares three ways to use awareness and deep breathing to ground yourself throughout the day.

1. Affectionate Breathing

  1. Sit in a comfortable position.
  2. Notice any tension or discomfort you may feel in your body and release it.
  3. Begin to notice your breath flowing in and out. As you do that, bring a loving awareness to the physical sensations of breathing.
  4. Notice that with every breath in, you are nourishing your body. And with every breath out, you are soothing your body.

2. The Hand Over Heart Practice

  1. Place your hand over your heart so that you feel the warmth of your hand against your chest.
  2. Breathe gently and deeply while focusing on the warmth of your hand over your heart.
  3. Breath in while welcoming a sense of ease, safety, and goodness.
  4. Use this time to remember a moment when you felt safe, loved, and cherished with a friend, partner, or pet.
  5. Let the warm feelings from that moment wash over you.

3. A Visualization Practice to Call on a Compassionate Friend

  1. Sit in a comfortable position.
  2. Focus on the gentle rhythm of your breath and use it as an anchor for this practice.
  3. You can place your hand over your heart, if you choose, to bring a warmness to your experience.
  4. Imagine that you are in your own safe place—somewhere you feel relaxed and protected.
  5. Imagine a welcomed visitor coming to your safe place. It can be someone you know or an imaginary friend.
  6. Bring a worry or a concern you have to mind. Then, share that thought with your compassionate friend.
  7. Notice how it feels to share. Imagine your visitor responding with what you need to hear right now.
  8. Notice anything that may have shifted and how you relate to your worry or concern now. When you’re done sharing, imagine your friend kindly leaving.

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Wednesday 22 April 2020

Two Simple Mindfulness Practices to Help You Connect with Nature

I often think about my first mindfulness experience, long before that word—mindfulness—entered my vocabulary. I was eight or nine, and my dad told me to pick a cloud in the sky, and to just breathe, wait, and watch for it to disappear.

I’ve been returning to this practice in recent years with my own son, and reflecting on its power in a number of ways.

For one thing, it connects us immediately with the natural world, and allows us to simply appreciate its beauty. The beauty of nature inspires awe, which we know from the research boosts happiness, generosity, even compassion and connection. It also connects us with the natural rhythms of the world, allowing us to step out of clock time and into what I think of as earth time.

The power of nature to bring us immediately to the present must be primally wired into us.

The power of nature to bring us immediately to the present must be primally wired into us. In workshops I often ask people to share what mindfulness was to them before they ever heard that word, and the answers are astonishingly consistent. “Watching for shooting stars on a summer night,” “listening to the rain fall on a tent on a camping trip,” “gazing at the embers of a campfire,” “digging in my grandmother’s garden” and other sensory, nature-based experiences come up again and again.

So on Earth Day, honor nature by spending some time away from technology and in the majesty of what this earth offers. Look to nature for inspiration, see how you can connect with the natural world.

Two Mindfulness Practices to Help You Tune Into Nature on Earth Day—Or Any Day

Practice 1: Walk and Notice

Take a walk and notice the beauty that you see, a gratitude and appreciation practice that can elevate your mood.

Take the time to really look at your favorite tree, explore a park, and notice something new, a practice that will spark creativity.

Gaze at the shapes that nature has created, as well as spaces between them, reflecting on what the Japanese call “ma,” the “negative space” between forms that is just as important as the objects themselves.

And as you walk, notice what has changed and is changing as you pass the same spot. And don’t just walk, take some time to sit in nature.  And as you sit, consider stepping out of clock time and connecting with nature’s time and rhythms.

Practice 2: Sit and Notice

Open your window, feel the fresh air, sit and listen to the sounds of nature.

Sit until the fog burns off…

Sit until the sun completely sets…

Sit until the rain ends… or begins….

Watch an animal, even an insect at work or play until it departs…

Sit until the puddle dries in the sun…

Sit and watch a shadow until it has crossed your path…

Sit until the birds finish their song…

If you can, sit beneath a tree until it lets go of a leaf and you see (or even hear) it fall to the ground.

If you can, sit at a lake and watch the surface until the wind shifts or stops…

Or simply sit until that cloud completely changes shape, and disappears or passes on the horizon….

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Tuesday 21 April 2020

What Swimming Taught Me About Self-Compassion and Letting Go

I’m no Diana Nyad. But I’m a capable swimmer. During the summer months, I regularly swim a half-mile in the Pacific Ocean, churning through waves and unpredictable tides with the self-assurance of a Los Angeles lifeguard.

So when a gym pal encouraged me to improve my strokes by taking a lesson with Dan Halladay, a retired UCLA women’s swim team coach, I was game. I liked the idea of refining my freestyle, polishing my flip turns, and getting in some intense swim workouts.

As I headed to the pool for my first lesson, I was surprised to feel a pang of nervous tightness in my chest. I met Dan, a fit 68-year-old with a genuine smile, at the far end of a lane reserved for lessons. Dan got down to business quickly, explaining that he’d film my first 50 yards on his iPhone and then get in the water to instruct.

I pulled on my orange swim cap, squared my goggles over my nose, and slipped into the chlorine-scented water. Taking off with purpose, I whirled my arms and kicked my feet at a fast clip. I hit the wall, reversing course with a solid flip turn, and kept pace to finish strongly. 

Dan was waiting at the water’s edge. My friend had told me that no matter how good a swimmer I thought I was, Dan would offer corrections. Of course; that’s why I was taking a lesson. But what Dan said surprised me. 

Dan relayed the kind of wisdom that transcends sport: “We only have so many starry nights left.” 

“Wow, you’re like a wind-up toy in the water,” he joked. Taking a more serious tone, he told me: “Relax. Slow down.” Then, Dan relayed the kind of wisdom that transcends sport: “We only have so many starry nights left.” 

The nervous tightness in my chest blossomed. I felt both embarrassed and profoundly seen by Dan’s seemingly obvious observation of my Type A tendencies. The harsh voice of self-criticism rang in my ears: “Why are you trying so hard? You’re not training for the Olympics!” 

Then, as it often does when I need it most, my mindfulness practice showed up. I took a deep breath and softened my body. In the space I created between my critical thoughts, waves of self-compassion arose. Pema Chödrön’s sweet refrain of self-acceptance—“allow, allow, allow”—floated into my mind. Reframing my reactivity with kindness, I thought how normal it was for me and for all of us to return to our habitual set points when we try something new, feel stressed, or just get a bad night’s sleep. 

Healing the wound of overachieving

And yet, there in the pool my striving was laid bare. Swimming, like many sports, can be an embodied metaphor for how we relate to life. I’ve long equated effort with excellence. More often than not, I’ve made it happen, rather than let it happen. Sometimes there’s merit in that hard-nosed approach. It’s made me successful. But it’s also made me stressed and, at times, woefully unhappy. 

Stocksy/Song Heming

Like many people who begin and then develop a lifelong meditation practice, I began meditating as a way to unwind my tightly wound nervous system. It’s worked. Even in times of great difficulty, I’m so much less stressed than I ever have been. The way I muscled myself from one end of the pool to the other, though, told me that the wound of overachieving was still open. It also told me that by taking swim lessons I might have the opportunity to further heal it.

Dan was more than a worthy teacher. In his decades of coaching, he’d trained some of the best collegiate swimmers in the country, teaching them how to efficiently glide through the water at maximum speed. 

Swimming, it turns out, is highly paradoxical. Slicing through the water quickly while preserving precious energy requires the perfect muscular balance between laxity and tension. Swim with too much effort and you’ll be gassed before the race is over. Make too little effort and you’ll wallow in the water.

Dan called this razor’s edge of effort “easy speed.” 

The feeling of easy speed has returned to me on dry land. It has appeared at times as a welcome companion amid uncertainty, preventing me from regressing into well-worn, stressful habits.

After our brief chat, Dan jumped into the water and stood in front of me in the shallow end. He grabbed my hands and stretched my arms out in front of me, lightly moving them in a rhythmic freestyle motion so I could feel easy speed in my body. 

It was a mix of presence, physical ease, and mental relaxation. I knew from other experiences—absorbed concentration during meditation or flow while writing—that the feeling couldn’t be forced. But it could be felt, acknowledged, and trained. 

A look of recognition must have registered on my face. Dan smiled. He then explained that instead of ripping and tearing at the water, I needed to extend my arms from my shoulders and reach toward an imaginary pole in front of me that could pull me ahead one stroke at a time.

I made a few fumbling attempts. Dan told me to soften my hands and loosen my fingers, spreading them like Japanese fans. Loose hands meant water could slide more readily past me.

The lesson continued with Dan making numerous corrections and me making numerous bids to embody them. My head was too high in the water. I dropped my right hand before my left hand reached out in front of me. It would be better if I rotated my torso more, and so on. 

Dan, though, had me at starry nights. Midway through my lesson, I held my hand up and with the kind of confidence only a recovering overachiever can muster, I told him: “I think I’ve got it.” 

I swam the length of the pool, letting my body fall into a state of dynamic relaxation as I concentrated on one or two of Dan’s technical notes. It felt as though I was swimming through peanut butter, barely making headway across the pool. I missed my thrashing and the illusion of control striving bestows. 

But when I finished my lap, Dan enthusiastically said: “You won’t believe how fast you were motoring.” 

Staying loose in the face of resistance

In the swim lessons since my first, Dan has upped the ante, tethering me to a bungee cord and forcing me to create easy speed against resistance. Life, like swimming, doesn’t always go smoothly or as we plan. So I saw the wisdom of training easy speed in the face of difficulty.

And, in fact, the feeling of easy speed has returned to me on dry land. It has appeared at times as a welcome companion amid uncertainty, preventing me from regressing into well-worn, stressful habits. My striving nature will likely always be a part of me. I’ve become far more accepting of it. At times, I even appreciate it. It’s what drove me to take a swim lesson in the first place. But maybe, sometime in the near future, striving won’t be what propels me forward. Easy speed will be my new set point.

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How to Tell if You Are Misaligned With Your Purpose

When you find yourself feeling drained or unhappy in your work, it’s important to ask yourself whether you’re experiencing the normal growing pains of career growth or if your discomfort is actually revealing something deeper. 

As you move towards greater alignment with your purpose, it’s important to remember that this is an ongoing process and that moving through difficult experiences is part of the journey. Be kind to yourself. Be patient. Take some time to explore these three clarifying ways to help shed some light on the path to living your purpose.

1. Distinguish between learning and undue suffering

There is no doubt that it is important to experience challenges and overcome struggles in order to learn. The great social reformer and writer Fredrick Douglass famously said, “if there is no struggle, there is no progress.” Be clear, however, when a challenge causes excessive or undue suffering that no longer promotes learning. Some suffering is to be expected during challenging times. Ongoing suffering may indicate that you may need to move on. 


Illustration by Edmon de Haro

2. Keep an energy journal

Track the experience of being drained versus being energized. If your work or life situation leaves you feeling predominantly drained with little to no experience of enjoyment, inspiration or positive energy, that may be a clear sign that you are misaligned. Are you consistently very stressed? Are you predominantly in a bad state of mind or negative-feeling state when engaged in your life or work activities? Consider what actions it would take to move from being drained to being energized and experiencing vibrancy in your situation. 

3. Recognize when you are disconnected from your values

Simply stated, your values are the qualities in life that you consider most important to you. If your situation takes you further away from rather than closer to your values, that is a sure sign you are misaligned. Have you ever written down what’s most important to you? Take some time to think about that so you can actively seek congruence between your values and your everyday life. In this way you can begin to  ensure you are living and working  true to your purpose.

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Guided Meditation

A Meditation to Focus Attention 

When you’re stressed, overwhelmed, or distracted, you can regain momentum by resting attention on a single focal point. Explore this 9-minute mindfulness practice to calm a busy mind from Rich Fernandez, CEO of the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute. Read More 

  • Rich Fernandez
  • September 26, 2018

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Eight Ways to Care for Your Amazing Brain

The human brain is the most dazzlingly complex entity in the entire known universe: 80 billion brain cells, with additional neural cells throughout the body. Each neuron connects across synaptic gaps to thousands of other neurons, resulting in trillions of connections responsible for all of the brain’s internal communications and processing and all of our external behaviors and creations. Neuroscientists are beginning to map those connections, drawing the brain’s neural “connectome,” much as molecular biologists have mapped the human genome. There are as many neuronal connections in a single cubic centimeter of brain tissue as there are stars in the Milky Way galaxy. Contemplating the brain boggles the mind.

Protecting and nurturing the functioning of your brain is important for your long-term health and well-being. You can make lifestyle choices that protect, exercise, and strengthen the physical brain, which in turn supports the complexity of all of your emotional, relational, and cognitive functioning.

1. Move It!

Research in the last 10 years has made it abundantly clear—we need to move our bodies not just for the health of our heart, lungs, muscles, and joints, but also for the health of our brain. One of the best things you can do for your physical brain is to break a sweat with aerobic exercise.

Vigorous exercise makes your brain release brain-derived neurotropic factor (BDNF). This is the hormonal growth factor that causes your brain to grow new neurons, particularly in the hippocampus, the structure of the brain that consolidates learning from new experiences into long-term memory. BDNF also stimulates those new neurons to increase the length, density, and complexity of their dendrites (the extensions of the neurons that receive input from other neurons), creating “thicker,” more complex networks in the brain. In addition, BDNF speeds the maturation of new neurons into fully functioning brain cells. This protects related structures, like the prefrontal cortex, from brain atrophy and cognitive decline. Exercise makes you smarter. It can help you think more clearly well into old age. Exercise can even help reverse memory decline as you age.

Exercise makes you smarter. It can help you think more clearly well into old age. Exercise can even help reverse memory decline as you age.

Regular exercise also stimulates the heart to pump more blood to the brain, increasing the flow of oxygen and glucose in the brain that fuels all of the brain’s activity. Furthermore, exercise causes the release of essential neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine that stimulate various types of brain activity; endorphins that make you feel; and acetylcholine, which increases alertness. Because of these effects, exercise has been shown to be as effective an antidepressant as Prozac in head-to-head clinical trials.

Exercise regenerates our telomeres, the protective protein sheaths at the ends of our chromosomes, likened to the plastic caps on the ends of our shoelaces that keep the laces from unraveling. Because telomeres keep our chromosomes from unraveling as they replicate, protecting our telomeres prevents copying errors in our DNA and extends our span of healthy life. Exercise also extends our span of healthy life because it acts as an anti-inflammatory, reducing the underlying causes of many systemic diseases and delaying the onset of degenerative diseases. The body needs to move for about 30 minutes for the brain to release feel-good endorphins. Three times a week is good enough. Five times a week is great. Little and often applies here, too: Moderate exercise over several days is more effective (and safer) than a big workout once a week.

Activities like running, vigorous walking, bicycling, swimming, and using the stair climber at the gym are bilateral movements (moving the two sides of the body alternately, thus stimulating the two hemispheres of your brain alternately) and have an especially calming effect on your nervous system while nourishing your brain. Exercising with others—dancing, tennis, basketball, and volleyball—activates your social engagement system, creating a sense of safety in the brain and priming its neuroplasticity. Activities like these also engage the dopamine pathway of pleasure and reward in the lower brain that keeps you motivated. Mix it up to keep your exercise routine interesting. Recruit a buddy or join a good gym to expand your options and enhance your motivation.

2. Aim for Deep Sleep

Enough sleep, and deep sleep, is essential to brain and body health. Many of us routinely don’t get enough sleep; our lives are too busy, too stressed. Young people especially don’t get enough sleep. Teenagers may get five to six hours of sleep a night at a stage of development when their brains need eight or nine hours to finish growing.

Lack of sleep affects your metabolism, immune system, and genetic health—and especially brain health. If you get only five to six hours of sleep every night for a week, you likely have the same level of cognitive impairment as if you were legally drunk.

While you are sleeping, doing “nothing,” the brain is doing vital tasks:

  • Consolidating learning and memories from the day and storing that learning in long-term memory. Sleep optimizes cognitive functioning, restoring your ability to process information and retrieve information quickly when you are awake.
  • Restoring the equilibrium of the nervous system. Sleep absorbs the stress hormone cortisol. REM sleep is the only time the brain is clear of norepinephrine (adrenaline), processing memories of the day but without emotional charge. There’s less anxiety in the morning.
  • Regular housekeeping, cleaning out dead and atrophied neurons.
  • Allowing the prefrontal cortex to rest from its executive functioning and from controlling your impulses, making it better able to function again the next day.

Sleep researchers have long known about the brain’s two main forms of normal sleep. The first one, REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, is a slight activation of the sympathetic nervous system. We dream during REM sleep (nightmares result from too much activation). The second one, slow-wave sleep, is a deeper, nondream sleep, an activation of the parasympathetic nervous system. Through imaging technologies used in sleep study labs, scientists have discovered that the brain has a third form of sleep. If your brain gets overtired during the day, it will shut itself down for a fraction of a second—a break so short you don’t notice it—and then turns itself back on so that you keep functioning.

3. Eat a Mind Diet

You truly are what you eat. Everything that nourishes the body and the brain comes from the food you eat and drink. The bottom line about a diet good for the brain comes from Michael Pollan, author of In Defense of Food: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”

Curiosity can be an important part of creativity—following one idea, one turn in the road after another, with open-minded interest.

Researchers have identified foods that promote good brain health. The MIND diet (standing for Mediterranean Intervention for Neurodegenerative Delay) is a good example, recommended to help prevent, reduce, and reverse cognitive impairment from aging and dementia. It includes lots of vegetables, dark leafy greens, nuts, berries, beans, whole grains, fish, poultry, and olive oil. The omega-3 fatty acids found in fish and some nuts and seeds are particularly important nutrients for the brain.

4. Build Your Brain Cell Reserve

The brain learns and rewires itself from experience all the time. The more complex the experience or the learning, the more integrated the functioning of the brain, because more of our senses and regions of our brain are engaged in taking in the new information and processing it. That work of integration and complexity, which harnesses the brain’s neuroplasticity, is a protection against brain atrophy—losing brain cells as we age. It’s called building cognitive reserve. You did that when you were younger by going to college or mastering a craft. By keeping your brain active, you have more brain cells in the bank, so to speak, to buffer the loss of brain cells that comes naturally with aging.

To create a surplus of gray matter, try learning:

  • to play a musical instrument
  • to speak a foreign language
  • to play a complex game like chess or go
  • your way around a new city
  • your way around a new relationship
  • your way around a new service activity in the community

All of these examples involve procedural learning: The brain is learning how to do something and processing that experience, not just memorizing new facts. The more complicated the learning, the better.

5. Get Creative, Be Curious

Any creative endeavor—stream-of-consciousness journaling, process painting, mixing ingredients together without a recipe, making up a new game with your children—pushes the functioning of the brain into new territory and puts the brain in a state of flow. That puts new brain cells to good use. Curiosity can be an important part of creativity—following one idea, one turn in the road after another, with open-minded interest and without pre-conceptions or judgment. Curiosity is a great spur to creativity. Children tend to approach their world with uninhibited curiosity and wonder at the most ordinary rainstorm or bug.

6. Laugh Out Loud

Many people think of laughter as an emotion, or something akin to one. Not so. Laughter is a physiological mechanism that reduces stress in the body and the brain. Laughter releases catecholamines, dopamine, and norepinephrine—neurotransmitters that make the brain feel sharper and brighter. Laughter is often a good way of breaking the ice and bonding with people, and bonding with people is supergood for the brain.

Laughter is often a good way of breaking the ice and bonding with people, and bonding with people is supergood for the brain.

Play—encountering or creating new situations, dropping into the default-mode network in the brain, making up new rules, new characters, or new worlds—gives the brain a good workout. Play often also engenders laughter, a sense of connection with other people or things in our world, and a sense of relaxation and ease. All of those are good for the brain, too.

We can be so busy and pressured that we forget to laugh and play, and then we forget how to. If you experienced a lot of trauma in your early life, you may never have learned how to safely laugh and play. This capacity is fully recoverable with practice.

7. Hang Out with Healthy Brains

Focus on the power of social interactions with people, casual as well as intimate, to foster brain health and psychological health. We continue to evolve as we mature and move through life in new ways. Sometimes we coevolve with others, and marriages, friendships, business partnerships, social groups stay intact and flourish. Sometimes shared interests and life paths diverge, and we find ourselves drifting out of touch with people who were once close and significant to us. Sometimes in our own maturing and healing we are no longer as tolerant as we once were of hanging out with unhealthy brains.

8. Turn Off Technology

Researchers are documenting our rapidly escalating overuse of digital devices and identifying the increasingly serious effects on our brains, our relationship, and our resilience—especially the effects on young, still-developing brains. In a world where your brain is constantly bombarded with emails, texts, tweets, and posts, one of the best things you can do for it is to let it rest. Rest from long periods of energy-consuming focused attention and the overstimulation of incessant incoming messages that can negatively affect several essential capacities of your brain.

Excerpted from the book Resilience: Powerful Practices for Bouncing Back from Disappointment, Difficulty, and Even Disaster. Copyright ©2018 by Linda Graham. Printed with permission from New World Library. 
www.newworldlibrary.com

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