Friday, 30 November 2018

Part 1 – Healing Anxiety – How Meditation Frees Us


Anxiety and the fear of failure is a pervasive suffering around the world. It is also increasing—along with the pace of life, over-consuming, addiction, noise, polarization and fears for our planet. How do we calm ourselves in a way that brings inner freedom and serves the healing of our larger world? These two talks explore the power of awareness in evolving ourselves beyond the anxiety that grips and confines our lives.

“Be empty of worrying.
Think of who created thought!
Why do you stay in prison
when the door is so wide open?
Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking.
Live in silence.
Flow down and down in always
widening rings of being.”

Excerpt From: Coleman Barks. “The Essential Rumi – reissue.”

More Resources ~ RAIN: Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture here.

here.

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Why Your Brain Panics Under Pressure

Thursday, 29 November 2018

Meditation: Awareness, Aliveness and Space (18:36 min.)


This guided meditation awakens our awareness within our body, extends to include sound, and invites a resting as awareness that includes all passing waves of experience.

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from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8196908 https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-awareness-aliveness-space/

Connect to Your Anger Without Losing Control

Sharon Salzberg and Editor-in-Chief Barry Boyce recently sat down together for a Facebook Live event at the Mindful office to discuss how to turn anger into love. The following is an adpation of their conversation.

Anger is such a prevalent feeling these days, and so many people are struggling with trying to understand where strength is, and where power lies.

And what about the things we’ve been taught to think of as weak or even foolish, like generosity or compassion?

Compassion fatigue is a phrase we hear more and more about these days. We may associate anger with power and strength, but when we really look it it, compassion takes a lot more work.

What happens when we’re not feeling anger, but consumed by anger?

One of the incredible things about mindfulness, and using the meditative or contemplative process to develop mindfulness, is that we are like our own laboratory. We get to see from within—like, is anger really that strong? What happens when we’re not feeling anger, but consumed by anger? What’s the consequence? What’s the nature?

None of this is to say that we should be judging our feelings. We feel what we feel, and this isn’t an invitation to be condemning ourselves or launching some vast self-improvement projects so that we never feel a certain thing again. It’s not that at all, but depending on our relationship to what we are feeling, we may be sucked in there and overcome and overwhelmed, and that’s consequential, because these states, like anger and rage, have certain characteristics.

But we actually have flexibility. We have an ability to modulate and develop a different relationship to what’s happening to us—that’s actually the transformation that mindfulness makes room for.

Understanding the Benefits of Anger  

Anger has a lot of energy. That’s the positive part. It’s a way of saying no, it’s a way of drawing boundaries, and sometimes it has a lot of courage too. We can depend sometimes, in certain collective workgroups situations, on the angry person in the room—it’s like they’re pointing out the terrible flaw in the carpet and no one else wants to look at it. Everyone is studiously looking somewhere else, trying to pretend it’s not there, and they’re saying, “No, look at that.” And that’s a useful thing for all of us, for all of society.

Anger has a lot of energy. That’s the positive part.

And yet, if we are lost in anger, if we’re overcome by anger, if that’s really what’s guiding us, it can have terrible consequences for us and for our actions.

Two Exercises for Anger

1. Watch Your Anger Movie

Our first exercise is a thought experiment.

  • Bring up a time in your mind when you were really angry at yourself.
  • Just bring it back and let it fill you.
  • Notice what that feels like in your body. Notice what that story is. It’s like you’re watching the anger movie, and it’s interesting.

Anger can feel like a kind of compression, like tunnel vision. Maybe you did five great things that same day, but those five great things have been lost and only the angry moment remains. That’s how we become lost in the conviction that: “I’m a stupid idiot. That’s all I’ll ever be.” We’ve erased all the evidence that says we’re more than just our anger.

That’s part of the destructive nature of anger. Our task in a way is certainly not to belittle ourselves for what we’re feeling, but to somehow capture that energy in a way that is courageous, in a way that gives us permission to say “no,” that helps us set boundaries, without getting lost in anger’s tunnel vision.

Our task in a way is certainly not to belittle ourselves for what we’re feeling, but to somehow capture that energy that is courageous, that you can say “no,” that can take a stand or draw a boundary, without getting lost in the tunnel vision.

And that means, first of all, having a certain space from the anger. We see it, we connect to it, and yet we’re not necessarily drowning in it. At the same time, we’re not pushing it away.

That’s actually the definition of mindfulness: It’s a relationship to our experience, so we are not consumed by what’s happening. And we’re also not projecting it.

2. A Meditation to Treat Anger with Self-Compassion

A very common foundation practice involves resting your attention on the feeling of the breath. Just the normal, natural breath, wherever you find it most powerful—this is where we hone our relationship with our present experience, so we can connect to it as it is, without judgment.

  1. Sit comfortably. You can close your eyes, or keep them open.
  2. Notice your breathing. See if you can find the place where your breath is strongest for you, the clearest for you, e.g. where do you feel the rise and fall of your breathing most strongly? Maybe the nostrils, or the chest, or the abdomen.
  3. Direct your attention towards one place. Bring your attention to that place and just rest your attention lightly.
  4. Focus on one breath at a time. Just feel the sensations of the natural breath, one breath at a time.
  5. Note when the inner voice surfaces. If your attention starts to wander, and you realize that, notice how you speak to yourself. Is it harsh? Is it punitive?
  6. Gently return to the breath. If so, see if you can gentle that voice, and bring your attention back to the feeling of the breath.

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Wednesday, 28 November 2018

5 Steps to Wind Down and Fall Asleep

A Meditation for Settling Your Busy Mind

Today we are going to practice noticing and working with our busy minds. As we begin this meditation I’m going to share with you the single most important bit of information that I believe will help you as you develop and deepen your meditation practice. 

Are you ready? Here it is. 

When you settle into your meditation practice, bringing your awareness to the sensations of your breath, don’t expect to and don’t even try to stop your thoughts. Trying to stop your thoughts is not really possible and it often leads to a great deal of frustration. Frustration that might make you doubt your ability to develop a mindfulness meditation practice.

Rather than trying to stop your thoughts, work on changing your relationship to your thoughts.

Rather than trying to stop your thoughts, work on changing your relationship to your thoughts. Your minds are thought-producing machines. They’re constantly producing a river of thoughts. This river flows on and on, and sometimes it’s moving really fast, yet sometimes it slows down. Sometimes there are funny little eddies in the river, swirls of thoughts that go round and round. Rather than being in this river of thought, lost in it, carried downstream, maybe even feeling like you’re drowning, with our meditation practice we’re working on getting out of the river. Settling comfortably on the bank. Watching the river go by with curiosity and interest. We use the sensation of our breath as a handhold to pull ourselves out of the river and anchor ourselves in the present moment on the bank.

A Guided Meditation to Settle Your Mind   A Meditation to Settle Your Busy Mind
  • 9:54

Lets get started, keeping in mind that we’re learning to be with and be aware of our thoughts; we’re not trying to stop them.

  1. Find a comfortable position, either seated in a chair or on a cushion on the floor. Allow your posture to be upright and tall, but not stiff or uncomfortable. Notice the sensation of your feet resting against the floor. Notice the feel of your hands resting in your lap. See if you can feel the places where your body makes contact with your chair or cushion. 
  2. Bring your awareness to the sensation of the flow of your breath as it moves in and out of your body. See if you can discover the place in your body where you most clearly experience the sensation of your breath. Perhaps you notice it most clearly at the tip of your nose as the air moves in and out, or perhaps you notice it most clearly in the rise and fall of your chest or belly. It doesn’t really matter. You’re just trying to discover where in this moment you can most clearly make contact with the feel of your breath, as it moves in and out. Let your awareness be open and relaxed, not tight, constricted, or forced. 
  3. Fairly soon you’ll probably notice that your mind has wandered, and other thoughts have intruded. You’re in the river of thought. Planning something, wondering about something. This very moment you notice that your mind has wandered and your attention is no longer on your breath, is a moment of perfect mindfulness, as you see clearly what your mind is doing in that moment. Once you notice, simply turn your attention back to your breath, again anchoring yourself in the present moment by following the flow of the in and out of your breath. 
  4. You may find that you fall into this river, over and over and over. Every time you notice it, and return your attention to your breath, you are building your capacity to be mindful and to be present. 
  5. As you, with curiosity and patience, watch the flow of your thoughts, practice letting go of any judgments or criticisms that might arise. It’s natural for your mind to wander. You’re just practicing noticing it, and climbing back out when you fall into the river. 
  6. See if you can also let go of any judgments about the contents of your river in this moment. Our rivers carry all manners of things. Sometimes there are beautiful artistic shiny objects. Sometimes there is just rubbish. It’s all just thoughts floating by. 
  7. There is no need to judge. No need to try and change it. You’re just settling in on the bank of the river, watching with curiosity and compassion, maybe even humor. If you find it helpful, next time you notice you are caught up in a flow of thought, you can label it silently to yourself as “thinking,” and then let it go, coming back to your breath. 
  8. Where is your mind now? Simply notice, “thinking,” and then rediscover the sensation of your breath. 

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Monday, 26 November 2018

Why Is It So Hard to Be Vulnerable?

The Mindful Path to Financial Freedom

The true litmus test of a budget—what I like to call your “money map”—is whether it’s leading you toward a happy life. And you’re the only one qualified to define what a happy life looks like for you—and what steps you’re willing to take toward it. For some people, this may mean earning more money, spending less, or aggressively paying down debt. For others, it might actually mean working a little less, so they can enjoy time with family or recoup from a health crisis. Money mapping is about discerning what’s important to you in life (knowing there are rhythms and cycles to this), and then reverse-engineering a lifestyle that supports your version of happiness.

The Three-Tier Money Map

Most traditional approaches to budgeting have us list out a single, master-plan version of our income and expenses for the month. And while this may be helpful for some people as an initial money practice, it ignores the richness and complexity of our money relationship as something that is always unfolding, shifting, and evolving over time. The Three-Tier Money Map is the antidote for this oversimplification. Here is the framework:

Basic Needs Level

These are the bare-bones, bottom-line needs for your life. And only you decide what that means. Is it just groceries, rent, and utilities? Does it include a particular kind of food? Is a daily coffee a must for you to function? Does it include savings and debt repayment? You’re the boss here.

Comfortable Lifestyle Level

Here, introduce some more comfort into your lifestyle. What’s included? How much? Does this mean a monthly (or even weekly) massage or pedicure? Some disposable income for movies, restaurant dinners, or the latest electronic gadgets? The ability to gift a little money to friends and family?

Ultimate Lifestyle Level

Here we progress another step. Imagine having sufficient income to live out the fullest expression of your desires. All your intentions are funded. Does this look like millions of dollars in the bank, jet-setting from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Paris, anytime you like? Or is it a surprisingly simple lifestyle, living debt-free on a rural sheep farm? Take the time to clarify what this means for you.

Everyone defines their Three-Tier Money Map differently: One person’s Comfortable tier is closer to another person’s Basic Needs or even Ultimate tier. Our definitions and dreams for each of these levels are as unique as we are, involving not only different types of expenses, but also vastly different amounts.

This framework is supportive and illuminating no matter what your income level or expenses are. Anyone can get out of control with their spending habits, bury their head in the sand about their income or debt, or lose focus on their priorities. And no matter how much or how little money you have, directing it with intention is always a pathway to greater clarity, connection, and empowerment.

Time for Reflection

Some people create their first two lifestyle tiers and find themselves ready to stop, right there; it’s simply too challenging for them to plot out their Ultimate lifestyle at this moment. While I always encourage people to list out all three tiers if at all possible, just to see the largest view of their financial landscape as possible, always take your time and honor your limits. Some people plot out their Basic Needs and Comfortable tiers, then come back to add their Ultimate in a few days, weeks, or even months, when they feel ready for it. Listen to your resistance, and find the right balance for you for working with and through it. 

By allowing yourself to dream in big ways, you will transform what might have been a dry, dusty budget into a pathway for greater self-awareness and connection with your values.

Most of all, remember that everyone defines each of these three tiers in different ways. By allowing yourself to dream in big ways, you will transform what might have been a dry, dusty budget into a pathway for greater self-awareness and connection with your values. Give yourself the gifts of curiosity, wonder, and joy as you play with your money map.

Creating Your Map

Take a moment to prepare and set the scene: Gather anything you need to feel prepared and comfortable. Grab your financial tracking data or recent bank statements and income and expense reports. Pull out a journal and pen or open a fresh document on your computer. Pour yourself a favorite beverage, light a candle, play music, nibble chocolate, and put your phone on Do Not Disturb—do whatever you need to feel ready and wonderful.

Feelings

Free-write about each of the three tiers of your money map: Basic Needs, Comfortable, and Ultimate. Don’t include any numbers, yet. Turn within and get a felt sense of what each of these levels means to you. Write out your personal definitions for each tier, what you associate with them, how you imagine them making you feel day-to-day and month-to-month. This is completely subjective, and there are no wrong answers.

Things

Once you have a felt-sense description of each of your three tiers, it’s time to look at what items are included at each level. What expenditures do you need to be able to afford to create the feelings you identified for each level? Does your “Basic Needs” tier include rent, groceries, health care, transportation to and from work, and that’s it? Does a daily coffee or monthly movie feel like a Comfortable expenditure, or do these expenses feel like Basic Needs to you? Does your Comfortable lifestyle include cable television, a cell phone, and books? Does an annual vacation to visit your family go under Basic Needs, Comfortable, or Ultimate, for you, at this phase of your life?

Numbers

Get specific and take all of that prioritizing and bring in the real numbers. On three separate sheets of paper (or three separate spreadsheets), list out all of your monthly expense categories, for each lifestyle tier. Apply numbers to every expense item. If you’ve already tracked your expenses for several months, you may be able to look at recent averages to help you or you may do some quick, back-of-the-envelope estimates. Don’t forget those big-ticket and rainy-day expenses that happen less frequently, like insurance premiums, car repairs, dental bills, etc. Divide annual expenses by twelve to calculate average monthly expenses. Also include savings, debt repayment, and investments in any tier those fit into, for you.

Note: Your Comfortable Lifestyle will include all of the expenses from your Basic Needs tier, plus any additional expenses that come into play for you at this level; likewise, the Ultimate level will include everything from your Comfortable Lifestyle, along with additional items.

Keep referring back to the feelings, definitions, and included items you came up with a few moments ago.

Keep referring back to the feelings, definitions, and included items you came up with a few moments ago. Consider what additional expenses you’ll include at each level, and do your best to estimate what they might be.

Once you’ve listed everything out, total up your expenses for each of the three tiers, and calculate your average monthly expense.

Compare Income and Expenses

Once you have expense totals for each tier, it’s time to calculate your monthly income. Some people have a set, predictable salary each month, which makes this calculation delightfully simple. However, if your income fluctuates over the course of the year (whether you freelance, own a new business, wait tables, or shift income streams periodically), just use your best estimates. Take a breath, take your time, and do your best with what information you have.

Get Honest: What Level Are You Living?

Now that you have your average monthly income, compare it to the numbers for your map. Is your planned income enough to meet your Basic Needs level? If so, wonderful! Are you actually living at your Comfortable or even Ultimate level?

Some people don’t like what they see when they compare their income and Three-Tier Money Map. You might find that your current income doesn’t cover your Basic Needs expenses, or that you’re light years away from living your Ultimate lifestyle. It is very easy to feel discouraged here. Remind yourself that you’re looking at these numbers so you can start making positive changes. Honor any feelings that arise with as much compassion as possible.

Celebrate!

Once you have all of your numbers in front of you, do a body check-in. Hug yourself: You have just taken a huge step. It is a really big deal to look squarely at your numbers in this way. 

read more Tame Your Money Shame 

It’s taboo to talk about financial struggles because our emotions about money run so deep—but naming our feelings around money will help us deepen our relationship with it. Read More 

  • Bari Tessler
  • September 3, 2018
Daily Practices A Body Check-In Practice for Money Decisions 

The next time you’re about to have a conversation about money, use this practice to find balance. Read More 

  • Bari Tessler
  • August 14, 2018

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Friday, 23 November 2018

Authentic Thanks Giving


How do we awaken our natural capacities for gratitude and generosity? This talk explores the pathways of honest presence and purposeful cultivation, and offers several  reflections that guide us in contacting and expressing our love.

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How Does Building Useless Things Spark Joy?

Thursday, 22 November 2018

Meditation: Yes to Life (19:53 min.)


After relaxing our bodies and quieting our minds, this meditation guides us to open to the changing experience of being alive. We ask ourselves two questions: “What is Happening Inside me?” and “Can I be with this?” By learning to bring an unconditional presence and an accepting Yes to our lives, we begin to touch openheartedness and freedom.

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5 Ways to Thrive at Thanksgiving

Wednesday, 21 November 2018

Three Simple Mindfulness Practices You Can Use Every Day

Open Up to Your Experience

There’s a period that I’ve seen often when people are sick and dying, when one has a tendency to contract around their experience, whether it’s the experience of loss, dependency, physical pain, or fear. During this period there’s a hunger to cling to whatever is familiar, even if it’s their suffering.

Often as caregivers we actually exacerbate that clinging. One of the ways that we do that is by focusing on the problem. When we focus on the problem, we cause ourselves or others to feel small, and to become identified with the problem. It becomes something to be solved. It can happen in meditation as well. Imagine if we saw the people we served as a mystery to be discovered. Imagine if we saw ourselves that way.

I was with a woman in my retreat a couple of weeks ago, a cancer survivor. She said that when she went to the doctors they were always talking about curing, and never about healing. If only she had turned to her doctor and said “you know, curing stops the process, curing is what we do to pickles”. Could we just be open to the dynamic intrinsic of healing?

Even in a meditation like this there comes a point when a particular problem resolves and goes away. Or the sensation which has been troubling, or the state of mind which has been troubling, seems to dissolve. What can frequently happen is we just go on cruise control—we feel this relief, but in a way we are just kind of waiting for the next problem to arise.

What can frequently happen is we just go on cruise control—we feel this relief, but in a way we are just kind of waiting for the next problem to arise.

What we want to do today is to turn our attention to the actual openness. We’ve been observing all the objects of mind, body, breath, sensation, emotions, and thoughts, and we want to turn our attention to that which all this is moving through. The openness. 

Rainer Maria Rilke writes about this in his 8th Duino Elegy. He says:

With their whole gaze animals behold the open. 

Only our eyes are as though reversed, and set like traps around us, keeping us inside. 

That there is something out there we know only from a creature’s countenance. 

Never, not for a single day do we let the space before us be so unbounded that the blooming of one flower is forever. 

We are always making it into a world, and never letting it be nothing. 

The pure and unconstructed, which we breathe and endlessly know, and do not crave. 

Sometimes a child loses himself in this stillness, and gets shaken out of it. 

Or a person dies and becomes it. 

For when death draws near, we see death no more; we stare beyond it with an animal’s wild gaze. Lovers also look with astonishment into the open, when the beloved doesn’t block the view. 

It surges up unburdened in the background. 

Sometimes neither can get past the other, and so the world closes again. 

Ever turn toward what we create,

we see it as only reflections of the open, darkened by us.

This is our fate: to stand in our own way, forever in the way. 

We, always and everywhere spectators, turn not toward the open, but towards the stuff of our lives. It drowns us. We set it in order, and it falls apart. We order it again, and fall apart ourselves. 

Who has turned us around like this? 

Whatever we do, we are in the presence of one who’s about to depart.

A Meditation for Opening Up

Openness. It’s about just being with the openness, to really feel the quality of our being, not just as an absence of problems but as intrinsic to our being. Just as compassion is that quality of our being that helps us to sense, openness is that quality of our being that helps us to appreciate the spaciousness, and gives space to things. It’s the quality of inexhaustibility and boundlessness. We’ve been watching the breath of body, emotions, and thoughts—what would it be like to turn toward the openness, and begin to feel this space that all this has been moving through? And in that, to begin to learn the nature of how all this arises. Not just studying the products of our mind, but beginning to come into contact with the mind itself.

We’ve been watching the breath of body, emotions, and thoughts—what would it be like to turn toward the openness, and begin to feel this space that all this has been moving through?

When I say mind here I mean our awareness, openness of our being. How does it function? Where is the mind? Do you think it’s in your brain? If you didn’t have a brain would you still have a mind? What’s in charge? Do you think you’re in charge? Try stopping your thoughts.

Wes Nisker writes, “In the summer of 1995, Time magazine summarized the latest brain research in a cover story entitled “In Search of the Mind”. Most people were probably not aware that the mind was lost, and chances are they became quite disturbed to discover that even the neuroscientists couldn’t find it. The Time article concluded that, “Despite our every instinct to the contrary, consciousness is not some entity inside the brain that corresponds to self. Some kernel of awareness that runs the show. After more than a century of looking for it, brain researchers have concluded that such a self simply does not exist.”

So far, scientists cannot find a particular region of the brain that gives orders. Every part of the brain knows what every other part of the brain is doing, and each part influences all the others through a type of dependent colorizing. In fact, neuroscientists say that reality is primarily a creation of the brain talking to itself. One Nobel laureate reports that the majority of brain cells are not affected directly by the external world, but by other brain cells. So any act of seeing, for instance, only 20% of the information being processed comes through the retina, while 80% comes from other parts of the brain. When I do that math, it means that perception is four fifths projection.

Sit with the openness and watch the dance of this interdependency of these multiple arising conditions. Feel the interplay of all these energies rather than getting stuck on them as a kind of problem to dissolve. Let’s open to the mystery of this dance.

Let your attention come to the breath, and to the body, and then just rest. Don’t go looking, don’t get enamored with your capacity to create. Let’s just observe and feel, turning toward openness instead of toward our constructions. 

Let the breath breathe you. Let it be like a breeze blowing right through you. Feel the openness. Feel all around it. Relax into this openness, and know that it’s you.

read more Voices How Compassion Gives Us the Stability to Take Wise Action 

Point of View Podcast Episode 5: A conversation with Frank Ostaseski about finding the inner resources to meet the impossible in extraordinary ways. Read More 

  • Editor-in-Chief Barry Boyce
  • July 5, 2017
Well-Being How to Care Deeply Without Burning Out 

Sharon Salzberg and Dan Harris explore how to recognize the signs of empathy fatigue and maintain a balanced, mindful, compassionate response (Video). Read More 

  • Susa Talan
  • June 9, 2017

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Friday, 16 November 2018

Survival of the Nurtured – Our Path to Belonging


“We are not the survival of the fittest. We are the survival of the nurtured.”
— Louis Cozolino

We flourish when nurtured with love and understanding. Yet for so many, the violence of our society and lack of attuned caretakers has severed trust and belonging. This talk explores how meditation and conscious relating with each other can restore the connections so vital to healing and spiritual freedom.

With That Moon Language

Admit something: Everyone you see, you say to
them, “Love me.”

Of course you do not do this out loud, otherwise
someone would call the cops.

Still, though, think about this, this great pull in us
to connect.

Why not become the one who lives with a full
moon in each eye that is always saying,

with that sweet moon language, what every other
eye in this world is dying to hear?

– poem by Hafiz – translated by Daniel Ladinsky

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Six Signs of a Strong Friendship

Thursday, 15 November 2018

Meditation: The Presence Beyond Thoughts (17:33 min.)


We spend many life moments in a trance of thinking. This meditation awakens the senses through a body scan, and attention to sound. We then rest in the presence that can come alive in the gap between thoughts—the presence that is our true home.

Ten thousand flowers in spring, the moon in autumn,
a cool breeze in summer, snow in winter.
If your mind isn’t clouded by unnecessary things,
this is the best season of your life.

by: Wu Men Hui-k’ai
English version by Stephen Mitchell
Original Language Chinese

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from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8196908 https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-presence-beyond-thoughts/

The Art of Gathering

Wednesday, 14 November 2018

How to Be Mindful About Your Spending

A Guided Meditation to Cultivate Kindness

Each time we bring our mind back to the present, or work mindfully with thoughts and sensations, we are invited to practice kindness. With kindness practice, we train in warm-heartedness more explicitly, by offering good wishes to those in our lives.

With kindness practice, we train in warm-heartedness more explicitly, by offering good wishes to those in our lives.

It’s not a problem if you don’t feel loving kindness during or after this meditation. Just keep working with the practice as best you can. Notice what comes up, and bring a friendly acceptance to it as best you can.

Part of kindness practice is being kind to ourselves when we don’t feel kind, allowing ourselves to be human, with all the difficulties as well as joys that come with living a human life.

Explore This Guided Meditation to Practice Kindness   17-Minute Kindness Practice
  • 17:27
  1. To practice this now, take a good sitting posture. Upright, alert, gentle, and working with mindfulness of breathing for a while, allowing some moments for dropping into the being mode using the breath as an anchor for the present. 
  2. Now I invite you to bring to mind someone you know who’s been kind to you, and for whom you feel a sense of warmth or perhaps gratitude. Visualize them in front of you, in your mind’s eye, and be open to feelings and let any feelings that come up be experienced and connected to your body without trying to force anything. As with any other mindfulness practice there’s no right or wrong way to be feeling here. Just imagine this person and feel whatever comes up in you. 
  3. I invite you now to offer some good wishes to this person, saying to them in your mind: May you be safe. May you be free from stress. May you be at peace. 
  4. If these particular phrases don’t feel right for you, feel free to use words that feel genuine to you. The words aren’t as important as the sentiment you’re offering. Just let the words come as best you can from your whole being, rather than just from your thinking mind. If you like you could imagine giving the person a hug as you send them your good wishes. 
  5. It doesn’t matter if what you’re doing feels awkward or inauthentic, just treat this as an experiment and remember that whatever comes up is totally OK. May you be safe. May you be free from suffering and stress. May you experience peace.
  6. When the mind wanders away, acknowledge this gently and invite your attention to return to the image of the person in your mind, or the words of the good wishes, or the feeling of what’s happening within you. 
  7. Let the image of this benefactor fade, and bring to mind a friend or family member for whom you feel love. It’s a good idea to choose someone for whom your love is uncomplicated and heartfelt, rather than tinged with desire or resentment. It could also be an animal, a pet maybe. I invite you to offer this person or other being your good wishes, gently repeating the same or similar phrases as before, offering them from the heart. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you enjoy well-being in your life. 
  8. You might like to imagine embracing your loved one, letting whatever feelings come up be experienced just as they are, without needing to change them. If at any point during the practice you feel overwhelmed, it’s completely OK to drop the visualization and return to mindfulness of breathing, or to stop if you need to. Explore the practice gently.
  9. Let the image of the loved one fade, and imagine that it’s now yourself appearing in your mind’s eye. Experiment with offering yourself the same kindness as the others. Recognize that you are a person worthy of compassion and care, who experiences the difficulties of being human and works with them as best they can. Repeat the same or similar phrases as before, silently to yourself. May I be well. May I be healthy. May I live with peace in my heart. 
  10. If you like you can imagine giving yourself a hug. If you experience any resistance to this, notice and be interested in this. Some of us have been told that it’s not OK to be kind to yourself, but we’re all human beings working with the ups and downs of life. You might like to record kind or generous things that you’ve done in your life, or qualities about yourself that you like. If none come up, or you feel guilt, disappointment, or another difficult emotion, know that this isn’t a failure. Experiment with observing what comes up without attachment, returning perhaps to mindfulness of breath or body for a time.
  11. Now, bring to mind someone for whom your feelings are generally neutral, perhaps someone you don’t know so well. An acquaintance you see occasionally, but for whom there’s no strong liking or disliking. Or, it could be someone you encounter regularly in your life but haven’t gotten to know so well, such as the person who delivers your mail or who works in a local shop, or perhaps a neighbor who lives down the other end of your street. Recognize that this person too is a human being, vulnerable to the ups and downs of life with its stresses and strains. Like everyone, they want to be happy, and like everyone, they sometimes make mistakes. 
  12. I invite you to practice wishing them happiness, health, and safety now, as they journey through daily life. Say these words in your mind: May you be joyful. May good things come to you. May you work with difficulties skillfully and be well. 
  13. If feelings of warm-heartedness arise you can offer these too. If not, then just offer the words. 
  14. If this feels workable for you now, bring to mind someone with whom you experience difficulty. Not choosing to begin with a person for whom you dislike or for whom anger is very strong, but someone you experience to be a bit challenging, or with whom you have some conflict. I invite you to open to the reality that this person is also human like you, and wants to be happy. Perhaps they’re doing the best they can in their circumstances. You might invite an awareness of their positive qualities, recognizing what they are good at. Or perhaps they suffer as a result of their behavior; contemplating this may open the window of compassion. Let go of judgments as best you can, and experiment with offering this person kindness too, wishing them well in their lives. 
  15. Offering kindness doesn’t mean you’re condoning any unskillful behavior or harm done. Whatever feelings come let these be as they are. If this fails or becomes too difficult it’s completely OK to return to mindfulness of breathing, or to send loving kindness to a benefactor; loved one, friend, or ourselves once again. You could also choose to practice loving kindness for aspects of yourself that you find difficult. The parts that you tend to deny or try to get rid of. Notice what happens when you open to these difficult aspects of yourself with warm heartedness.May you be happy. May you be free from suffering. May you be well.
  16. Finally, picture all the people you’ve visualized together, including yourself, and I invite you to wish the whole group well, saying to yourself something like: May we all be safe. May we all be free from stress. May we all experience peace. 
  17. If you like, you could extend your kindness out further to the whole town you live in, or even to all beings on the planet. Sense or visualize the energy of kindness radiating out from your heart. If it feels like there’s no such energy there, then you can just imagine this happening. May everyone be happy. May everyone be healthy. May everyone be at peace. 

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Monday, 12 November 2018

10 Things We Know About the Science of Meditation

Let Go Of Your Labels: A Mindful Practice

Growing up, were you labeled the “sensitive genius”? The “rebel”? The “problem child”? The “nice guy”? I’ve especially enjoyed sporting the “smart aleck” persona, which is just one of the many identities I’ve walked around with, or have been dragged around by, over the years. Some were self-imposed, others gifted to me from hither and yon.

Labels come and go, and they are incredibly subjective. For instance, where one person might find me “a good listener,” or “kind,” another might label me “controlling,” “impatient,” or “obsessive.” Whether we recognize them or not, we all move through our lives wearing a hodgepodge of sticky labels. And these labels frame our experience in a powerful—though not always helpful—way.

Whether we recognize them or not, we all move through our lives wearing a hodgepodge of sticky labels. And these labels frame our experience in a powerful—though not always helpful—way

It’s not all bad. Labels can help us bring order to chaos in an instant. The challenge is that each person and situation is more than any one label you might give it. Nothing and no one is only wonderful, or only terrible, or beautiful or ugly or right or wrong. Ignoring this fact can make a big difference to our overall experience of life.

Recent research from the University of Pennsylvania suggests that we may actually ignore information that does not support our ideas about “who we are,” and our behavior follows suit. We can essentially get stuck with a confirmation bias toward our own selves, where we receive information in a way that confirms our preexisting ideas and beliefs, and we don’t investigate any further than this.

So, once we determine which category something falls into—including our own personality—we lose all curiosity. Living with blinders on limits our potential for growth and well-being. When we become too certain or fixed upon any given label, we restrict our chance to experience life’s vast array of surprises and opportunities.

A Mindful Practice to Let Go of Your Labels
  1. First, grab a piece of paper and a pen and write down some of the labels you hold tightly to as truth. Start with your early years. Most of us encounter labeling within our own dear families. Do you think your mother labeled you with the same labels your father used? How about your siblings, or your grandparents, or your nieces and nephews? Now go beyond your home and consider your friends, teachers, romantic partners, employers—think about the various labels you’ve wound up with in all facets of life. 
  2. Next, consider how these spoken or unspoken labels have affected you. Did you try to live up or down to these labels? Did you fight them or embrace them, or even notice that you were letting yourself be typecast? 
  3. Next, consider your present situation. Have you taken on new labels? Are there old ones still peeking out from the past?
  4. Try to imagine your life as a sitcom, with you as a central character. Who’s in your main cast? Who have you tagged as trusted friends? Nemeses? Love interests? As you move through your daily life, notice how quickly you label and are labeled.
  5. If you can, go a step further and consider: Which labels are you taking on yourself? Which labels are you imposing—perhaps unfairly— on others?
  6. Now, imagine all those labels falling down around you like rain. See if you can let yourself be present without any labels at all. Just here. Just now. Breathing. Being.

Once you’ve spent some time getting to know your labels, having a little fun with them can be a great practice. For instance, if you’re the quiet one, see what happens if you label yourself outgoing and start a conversation. If you identify yourself as a “Type A” person, what happens if instead you label yourself as laid back, and slow down on the freeway? We don’t have to like how it feels. We can try on different hats, exploring as many experiences as we can.

We can break free from our personality prisons—even if just for a little while—and with that new freedom we can open up to a life of discovery, richness, and fresh possibilities.

We aren’t likely to ever stop labeling. It’s so automatic, and it’s completely natural. But we can take time to notice, to see what we lose or gain when these labels remain unexamined, and through that we can gain an exciting new perspective on ourselves. We can break free from our personality prisons—even if just for a little while—and with that new freedom we can open up to a life of discovery, richness, and fresh possibilities. 

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Friday, 9 November 2018

Two Lessons on Emotional Growth

Part 2 – The Jewel in the Lotus: Cultivating Compassion


The compassion that arises from mindful awareness can heal our inner wounds, interpersonal conflict and the suffering in our world. These two talks focus on cultivating self-compassion and compassion for others. They look at the blocks to compassion and accessible powerful practices that awaken the full wisdom and tenderness of our hearts.

“What  They Did Yesterday Afternoon”

they set my aunts house on fire
i cried the way women on tv do
folding at the middle
like a five pound note.
i called the boy who use to love me
tried to ‘okay’ my voice
i said hello
he said warsan, what’s wrong, what’s happened?

i’ve been praying,
and these are what my prayers look like;
dear god
i come from two countries
one is thirsty
the other is on fire
both need water.

later that night
i held an atlas in my lap
ran my fingers across the whole world
and whispered
where does it hurt?

it answered
everywhere
everywhere
everywhere.

poem by Warsan Shire

Photo: Jon McRay

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Thursday, 8 November 2018

This Loving-Kindness Meditation is a Radical Act of Love

Meditation: Whole Body Breathing (19:53 min.)


This guided meditation includes a body scan and invites the receptivity and letting-go of whole body breathing. Once we have awakened the vitality and presence throughout the body, we have access to the formless dimension, the awareness that is our source.

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Wednesday, 7 November 2018

Self-Care Is An Act of Resistance

10 Ways to Be More Mindful at Work

Mindfulness may seem like a great idea, but how do you become more mindful in the context of a busy work day? You may have emails, phone calls, meetings, and presentations to deal with. And, of course, your own work! In the middle of all that, how can you apply the principles of mindfulness so that you feel more alive and present, as well as being productive? Here are a few popular and other more radical ways to be mindful at work.

1. Be Consciously Present

Mindfulness is, above all, about being aware and awake rather than operating unconsciously. When you’re consciously present at work, you’re aware of two aspects of your moment-to-moment experience—what’s going on around you and what’s going on within you. To be mindful at work means to be consciously present in what you’re doing, while you’re doing it, as well as managing your mental and emotional state. If you’re writing a report, mindfulness requires you to give that your full attention. Each time your mind wanders to things like Helen’s new role or Michael’s argument with the boss, just acknowledge the thoughts and bring your attention back to the task in hand (see how to stop thinking). This scenario sounds simple, but many aspects of your experience can get in the way.

Here are some ideas to help you stop being mindless and unconscious at work and more mindful and consciously present:

  • Make a clear decision at the start of your workday to be present as best you can. Pause for a few moments before you start your work day to set this intention in your mind.

2. Use Short Mindful Exercises at Work

Mindful exercises train your brain to be more mindful. The more mindful exercises you do, the easier your brain finds it to drop into a mindful state, thus optimizing your brain function. In the busy workplace, finding time for a 30-minute mindful exercise can be difficult. So does that mean you can’t be mindful at all at work? Nope. Mindful exercises can be as short as you wish. Even one minute of consciously connecting with one of your senses can be classified as a mindful exercise. You don’t need to close your eyes. You don’t even need to be sitting down. Be creative about finding slots in the day to practice mindfulness exercises. At times of excessive pressure at work, practicing a short mindfulness exercise can be a saviour. The process helps to rebalance your nervous system, toning down the fight-or-flight response and engaging the wise part of your brain, so that you make reasoned decisions rather than automatically react to situations.

3. Be a Single-Tasker

Single-tasking is doing one thing at a time. Multi-tasking is trying to do two or more tasks at the same time or switching back and forth between tasks. Nobody can actually multi-task. In reality, your brain is madly switching from one thing to the next, often losing data in the process. Most people know multitasking is ineffective nowadays. If multi-tasking is so inefficient, why do people still do it? The reason was uncovered in a study by Zheng Wang at Ohio State University. She tracked students and found that when they multi-tasked, it made them feel more productive, even though in reality they were being unproductive. Other studies found that the more you multitask, the more addicted you get to it.

Here are a few ways to kick the multi-tasking habit and become a mindfulness superhero:

  • Keep a time journal of what you achieve in a block of time. Work out when you’re single-tasking and when you’re multi-tasking. Note down what you achieved in that time block and how mindful you were.

4. Use Mindful Reminders

The word “mindful” means to remember. Most people who’ve read about or undertaken training in mindfulness appreciate the benefits of mindful living. Unfortunately, they keep forgetting to be mindful! The reason you forget to be mindful is because your brain’s normal (default) mode is to be habitually lost in your own thoughts—running a sort of internal narrative. When you’re going about your usual daily activities, your brain switches you into this low energy state, which is unmindful, almost dreamy. Doing some things automatically, without thinking, is fine but research undertaken at Harvard University showed that 47 per cent of a person’s day can be spent lost in thoughts. The same research found that day dreaming can have a negative impact on well-being. Being on auto-pilot means that you’re not fully present and awake to the opportunities and choices around you. You can’t be creative, plan something new or respond appropriately if you’re operating mechanically.

By using some form of reminder, you can be mindful again. The reminder shakes you out of auto-pilot mode. Try these reminders:

  • Setting an alarm on the phone – even a vibrating alarm that doesn’t disturb others can work well.

So, every time your phone rings, you take a mindful breath. Every time you hear the ping of a text message, you pause to be mindful of your surroundings rather than immediately reacting by checking the message. All these things are opportunities to come back into the present moment, to see yourself and your surroundings afresh. You take a small step back and reflect rather than automatically react to what’s coming at you in the form of demands, tasks, and challenges.

5. Slow Down To Speed Up

Mindfulness at work does seem counter-intuitive. You’re considering the fact that, by stopping or slowing down, you can become more efficient, productive, happy, resilient and healthy at work. You may not think that slowing down and being conscious can have such an effect (see How to Stop for more tips on that).

Imagine being asked to stop sleeping for a week. Sleeping is resting—and resting isn’t work. So, simply stop sleeping and just keep working. Maybe you’ve experienced this when studying for exams or trying to meet a deadline at work. Eventually your efficiency drops to almost zero; you’re completely living out of the present moment and perhaps even hallucinating! You need to sleep at least seven hours every night to be able to function effectively.

Clearly, rest can increase efficiency. If you do manage to get about seven hours of sleep and achieve a certain amount of work, imagine what would happen if you also did a few mini-mindfulness exercises during the day? Your brain would become even more efficient, focused, effective at communicating with others, and better at learning new skills.

Being in a panicky rush leads to bad decisions and is a misuse of energy. Instead, pause, focus on listening, stroll rather than run, and generally take your time when at work. Effective leaders, workers, and entrepreneurs slow down and reflect to make the best decisions and actions—they slow down to speed up. That’s a mindful way of working.

6. Make Stress Your Friend

Recent research conducted at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, asked 30,000 people the same question: “Does the perception that stress affects health matter?” The results were astonishing.

The researchers found that people experiencing high levels of stress but who believed that stress was good for them had among the lowest mortality rates. Whereas highly stressed people who believed that stress was bad for their health had the highest chance of dying. Your beliefs about stress clearly affect how they impact on your health and well-being. Another study even found that the blood vessels constricted (as is seen in those with heart disease) in people who believed that stress was bad for them, but stayed open and healthy in those who believed that stress was good for them.

If reading this didn’t make you go “wow,” try reading it again. It’s the most exciting research I’ve read this year!

So if you want to make stress your friend, you need to change the way you think about it and, in turn, your body’s response to it.

Mindfulness can help you achieve this change in perception. The next time you’re facing a challenge at work, notice how your heart rate speeds up and your breathing accelerates. Observe these responses and then switch your attitude—respond to your stress creatively rather than negatively. Be grateful that the stress response is energizing you. Note that your body is preparing you for your upcoming challenge and that a faster heart rate is sending more oxygen around your body. Be grateful that the process is sharpening your senses and boosting your immune system. By viewing the stress response from this perspective, you see your upcoming problem as a positive challenge and recognize your body preparing to meet it. This small change in attitude can literally add years to your life and improve your productivity and achievements in the workplace.

7. Feel Gratitude

Humans have a “negativity bias.” Essentially, this means that you’re much more likely to focus and dwell on something that’s gone wrong than on things that have gone well. Behaving in this way every day means that you ultimately adopt an excessively negative and unbalanced way of thinking.

Gratitude is the antidote. Plenty of evidence suggests that actively practicing gratitude makes you feel better and has a positive impact on your creativity, health, working relationships, and quality of work. Gratitude makes being at both work and home more positive experiences.

If you feel like you’re stuck in a job you don’t enjoy, the first step is to practice gratitude. What’s going well in your job? Maybe you’re grateful for the money? Even though it may be less than you’d like, you probably prefer it to having no salary at all. You may not like your manager, but maybe you’re friends with a couple of colleagues? You hate the office politics, but they give you insight into what you don’t like in a job, so in the future you know what to look for. After practicing gratitude, you can then consider whether you want to continue in that role or need to find another job.

Being mindful of what’s going well at work helps to improve your resilience. Rather than allowing your mind to spiral into anxiety or dip into low moods as you brood over all the aspects of the job you don’t like, you can feed your mind with thoughts of gratitude to raise your well-being. Then, if you do decide to find another job, your positive mental state can help you select an appropriate position and optimize your performance in the interview. People hire positive people, not those who just complain about what’s going wrong. Use gratitude to neutralize your brain’s natural negativity bias.

8. Cultivate Humility

Humility comes from the Latin humilis, meaning grounded. Humble people have a quiet confidence about themselves and don’t feel the need to continuously remind others of their achievements. Humility may seem counter to our culture of glorifying those who make the most noise about themselves, grabbing our attention. But actually, humility is attractive—no one enjoys being around those who continually sing their own praises, and most people enjoy the company of those who are willing to listen to them rather than talk about themselves all the time.

In Jim Collin’s hugely popular book Good to Great, he identified leaders who turned good companies into great ones. He found that the companies exhibiting the greatest long-term success (at least 15 years of exceptional growth) had leaders demonstrating all the skills of your standard leader but with one extra quality—personal humility. They were willing to work hard, but not for themselves—or the company. If things went wrong, they didn’t seek to blame other to protect themselves. And if things went well, they immediately looked outside of themselves to congratulate others. They didn’t have an inflated ego that needed protecting all the time.

Humility is often confused with meekness or timidity but they’re not the same. Humility does not mean seeing yourself as inferior; rather, it means being aware of your natural dependence on and equity with those around you.

How is humility linked to mindfulness? Mindfulness is about accepting yourself just as you are, and being open to listening to and learning from others. Mindfulness is also synonymous with gratitude—you appreciate how others have helped you. And someone who is grateful for the contribution of others is naturally humble.

To develop a little more humility, try the following:

  • Undertake mindful exercises: Mindfulness reduces activity in the part of the brain that generates the story of your self—sometimes called the narrative self. Giving too much attention to you and your own story is unhealthy. Mindfulness practice helps you to be more connected with your senses—the present self. Your attention widens and you can see how much others contribute to your everyday successes.

9. Accept What You Can’t Change

Acceptance lies at the heart of mindfulness. To be mindful means to accept this present moment just as it is. And it means to accept yourself, just as you are now. It doesn’t mean resignation or giving up. But it does mean acknowledging the truth of how things are at this time before trying to change anything.

Here’s a workplace example. If you went $30,000 over budget, that’s a fact. It’s already happened. As soon as you accept that, you can move forward and try to deal with the situation. Lack of acceptance can lead to denial of the fact (maybe causing you to go even more over budget) or avoidance (you keep skipping meetings with your boss) or aggression (you vent your anger at your team unnecessarily, adversely affecting relationships and motivation). Instead, you can accept the situation, talk to the necessary people, learn from your mistakes, and move on. Acceptance actually leads to change.

When you accept yourself, you cut down on energy-draining self-criticism. You’re then much better able to enjoy your successes and smile at your shortcomings.

Personal acceptance is even more powerful. Self-acceptance is embracing all facets of yourself—your weaknesses, shortcomings, aspects you don’t like and those you admire. When you accept yourself, you cut down on energy-draining self-criticism. You’re then much better able to enjoy your successes and smile at your shortcomings. Through self-acceptance, you can create a clarity of mind that allows you to work on those aspects of yourself you wish to improve. The starting point of self-improvement and personal development is self-acceptance.

10. Adopt a Growth Mindset

According to Carol Dweck and her team at Stanford University researcher, people essentially adhere to one of two mindsets—a growth or a fixed mindset.

People with a fixed mindset believe that their basic qualities, such as their intelligence and talents, are fixed traits. Instead of developing their intelligence and talents, they spend their time hoping their traits will lead to success. They don’t seek to develop themselves, because they think that talent alone leads to success. They turn out to be wrong—brain science has proved otherwise.

People with a growth mindset believe that they can improve their intelligence and talents with effort. By applying themselves, they think that they can get better. They see brains and talent as just the starting point, and build on them with hard work and determination. Brain scans have actually revealed that effort does lead to growth in intelligence and enhancement of initial talent over time. People with this mindset have a love of learning and demonstrate greater resilience. Success at work depends on having a growth mindset.

Mindfulness is about adopting a growth mindset. Mindfulness is about giving attention to the present moment and not judging your innate talent or intelligence, but being open to new possibilities. When you adopt a growth mindset at work, you don’t mind getting negative feedback as you view it as a chance to discover something new. You don’t mind taking on new responsibilities because you’re curious about how you’ll cope. You expect and move towards challenges, seeing them as opportunities for inner growth. That’s the essence of mindfulness at work—believing that you can improve and grow with experience, moving towards challenges, living in the moment, and discovering new things about yourself and others.

4 Steps for Adopting a Growth Mindset

Use the following four steps to develop a growth mindset, based on research by Dweck and colleagues:

  1. Listen to the voice of a fixed mindset in your head. This is about being mindful of your own thoughts when faced with a challenge. Notice if the thoughts are telling you that you don’t have the talent, the intelligence or if you find yourself reacting with anxiety or anger when someone offers feedback to you.
  2. Notice that you have a choice. You can accept those fixed mindset thoughts or question them. Take a few moments to practice a mindful pause.
  3. Question the fixed mindset attitudes. When your fixed mindset says “What if I fail? I’ll be a failure,” you can ask yourself “Is that true? Most successful people fail. That’s how they learn.” Or if fixed mindset says “What if I can’t do this project? I don’t have the skills,” reply with “Can I be absolutely sure I don’t have the skills? In truth, I can only know if I try. And if I don’t have the skills, doing this will help me to learn them.”
  4. Take action on the growth mindset. This will make you enjoy the challenges in the workplace, seeing them as opportunity to grow rather than avoid. Use the above system if you mind starts leaning towards the fixed mindset.

Over time, you’ll find yourself habitually of a growth rather than fixed mindset, leading to greater success and personal mastery that before.

This article was adapted from Mindfulness at Work for Dummies by Shamash Alidina and Juliet Adams.

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A Seven Minute Mindful Phone Practice

The beeps and buzzes of our devices can also be reminders to take a breath or check in with ourselves. Mark Epstein, a psychiatrist and writer, suggests sometimes not shutting off the cell phone when you meditate. Instead, just sit in meditation and notice the body’s and the mind’s reactions to each beep and buzz of the phone, the stories and urges and emotions as they arise.

As you become more aware of the emotions and body sensations you’re actually inviting into your day when you use your phone, you’ll be able to make better decisions about how to use it wisely.

As you become more aware of the emotions and body sensations you’re actually inviting into your day when you use your phone, you’ll be able to make better decisions about how to use it wisely.

Explore This Mindful Phone Practice   Seven Minute Mindful Phone Practice
  • 6:51
  1. Hold your phone and power it down. You’re probably already listening to this meditation on your phone. Let’s begin this practice by powering down the screen on your phone, and then picking it up and holding it in your hands. You can allow your eyes to close. 
  2. Observe the object in your hand. Feel the smooth texture of the glass, metal, and plastic. Feel its weight. Become aware of how its size and shape is meant to fit precisely in the palm of your hand. You can allow your eyes to open, or your gaze to fall back on your phone, lifting it and maybe even turning on the screen. Just notice what’s there. 
  3. Notice any thoughts, any associations, or any feelings. Notice any urges or any ambivalence. 
  4. Open your phone. Go ahead and swipe your phone open or type in your code, coming to the home screen. Take a breath in, and a breath out. 
  5. Identify one of your habitual apps. Find the app you use the most and just look at it, again, being aware of sensations, urges, thoughts, and feelings. Go ahead and open the app. Look at all the colors and notifications reaching out to you, asking you to take action in some way. Close your eyes once more. 
  6. Name the sensations you feel in your body.  Again, notice sensations or urges in your body with your eyes closed while knowing that the app is open. Allow your eyes to open and fall on the first headline, the first picture, the first status update that you see. Notice your response; what happens in your body, your mind, with your emotions, and associations. 
  7. Name the emotions you feel. Name the emotions in your mind as you read that first status update or see that first news headline. Stay with that emotion, or that sensation. Take another breath in, close your eyes, feel it, inhale, and exhale. Open your eyes again to the next headline or the next status update. Take a look and notice your first reaction, labeling that first emotion or sensation. 
  8. Stay with your emotions and sensations. Close your eyes once more while still feeling the sensations and noticing the emotions, or the ripple of thoughts, questions, and associations. Take a few more mindful breaths in and feel the breath go in, then feel the breath going back out. Notice the ripple of your thoughts. 
  9. Return to the breath. Take a few more breaths in and a few more breaths out. Feel all the sensations of the “in” breath and sensations of the “out” breath. 
  10. Set your phone or your device back down. Notice any lingering urges, emotional residue, or lingering physical sensations. Allow your eyes to open and bring your awareness to the rest of your senses. Bring your awareness to the entire room or space around you, larger than just your phone and device. If you have time, write about the things that came up for you during this practice.  
read more Daily Practices Before You Scroll, Try This Mindful Social Media Practice 

We’re all self-critical—but for teens, self-consciousness is hardwired. Here’s how to become aware of the emotions we’re courting on social media. Read More 

  • Christopher Willard
  • March 16, 2016
Meditation Can Your Smartphone Make You Mindful? 

Meditation apps help users see mindfulness as part of their lives but they also run the risk of becoming just another tech habit. Read More 

  • Sam Littlefair
  • August 29, 2018

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Monday, 5 November 2018

The Psychology of Voting

Voting is an act of altruism. When you vote, you are taking your personal time and effort to advance the collective good, without any guarantee of personal reward—the very heart of what it means to be altruistic.

For many, voting is a civic duty. However, in the United States, there is a large contingent of people who don’t vote, even in presidential elections. Voting can be particularly low in midterm elections—which are coming up on November 6—where the number of nonvoters often exceeds voters.

Political psychology researchers have been studying what encourages voting behavior, hoping to create interventions that might increase voting in the general public. “Because voting is a prosocial behavior, the kinds of things that should stimulate other types of prosocial behavior should have similar impacts on voting,” says Costas Panagopoulos of Northeastern University.

Studies by Panagopoulos and others suggest that appealing to our altruistic, “prosocial” natures—our concern for other people and our desire to contribute toward the greater good of society—could drive more democratic participation.

How gratitude impacts voting

In one study, Panagopoulos sent postcards to a subset of random voters before a special election in New York and before a gubernatorial election in New Jersey. The postcards contained either a message encouraging people to vote or a message thanking them for having voted in a recent election. Then, he compared voting percentages for those two groups to a control group who received no postcards.

His findings showed that voters receiving the gratitude postcard voted significantly more—two to three percentage points more—than those not receiving postcards. Those receiving reminders were somewhere in the middle, voting only slightly more often than the control group. This held true whether or not the recipients tended to vote regularly or only sparingly, including voters from groups who tend to vote less frequently, in general—like Latinos and single women.

Why would this be?

“Making people feel good by reinforcing the notion that society is grateful for their participation in the political process reminds people that they have a role to play and reinforces their willingness to be responsive.”

“Making people feel good by reinforcing the notion that society is grateful for their participation in the political process reminds people that they have a role to play and reinforces their willingness to be responsive,” says Panagopoulos.

Though the increase might seem inconsequential, says Panagopoulos, elections are won and lost within that margin. Even going door-to-door to get out the vote—a typical, resource-intensive strategy for increasing voter turnout—rarely increases voting by more than 8-10 percentage points, making a gratitude postcard a good investment.

“The fact that you can achieve almost a third of that with a single postcard mailing is pretty huge—it’s roughly five times the effect of a generic postcard mailer reminding someone to vote,” he says. “So, the expression of gratitude must be a pretty powerful way to raise turnout.”

Still, even with these results, Panagopoulos wanted to make sure that receiving thanks was the active ingredient—after all, the postcards implied that someone was paying attention to people’s voting behavior, and public scrutiny could have been a factor.

So, in another experiment, he sent postcards thanking people for political participation, in general—without reference to past voting—while others received either the thanks for voting or the reminder postcards used in the other experiments.

In the Georgia primary election that followed, Panagopoulos found that people who received the generic thank-you postcard were more likely to vote—as much or more so than people being specifically thanked for voting, and much more than those who got the simple reminders. To Panagopoulos, this confirms the idea that gratitude was key.

“The fact that the generic gratitude message was as effective, if not more effective, than the gratitude message with social pressure elements in it, suggests that what was really doing the work was the expression of gratitude and not any perceptions of surveillance or social pressure,” he says.

Other emotions that affect voting

Guilt, shame, and social pressure can certainly increase voting, studies find.

In one study, people who received information about their own voting behavior in the past seemed to increase their propensity to vote in an upcoming election. Another study found that people will vote more in an election when they see that people they are close to are voting, and that this behavior can spread through social networks.

Another study found that people will vote more in an election when they see that people they are close to are voting, and that this behavior can spread through social networks.

These kinds of studies add to a body of research showing that our social relationships and emotions play a significant role in how we vote. For example, one study found that when people are told that they might be recognized for voting in a local newspaper or put on an honor roll of voters—to induce feelings of pride—they vote in higher numbers.

Alternatively, when people are warned that their name will be published in a local newspaper for not voting—to induce feelings of shame—this also increases voting. Shame seems to have even more impact than pride.

Still, feeling shame may have downsides that feeling pride wouldn’t, which perhaps makes a case for more positive incentives for voting, while still making use of social pressure tactics.

“People don’t want to have a reputation for being shirkers or for freeriding on the efforts of others,” says Panagopoulos. “But, even though it’s not as powerful as inducing shame, the effects of inducing pride are roughly similar to expressing gratitude.”

The future of voting psychology

Does that mean Panagopoulos has concerns about eliciting people’s emotions—particularly negative emotions—to drive voting? Only if it’s used to manipulate voters in a strategic way to benefit one campaign over another, he says, rather than for the greater good.

“Our goal is not to provide campaigns with tactics to either increase or decrease their turnout, but to show what kinds of things could stimulate people to get engaged in the political process,” he says.

Though there is some evidence that appealing to people’s better natures can increase voting, there is still much research to be done—particularly on how to engage people who tend not to vote at all. Panagopoulos says that researchers have only scratched the surface in understanding the motivations of voters and that “we have a long way to go before we understand psychological mechanisms better.”

He hopes that governments and organizations that champion voting will take the task of increasing voter participation seriously. Clearly, doing so would help to make our democracy stronger, he adds.

“Society has to send strong signals that when people engage in the political process, they will be recognized for that, and that as a society we are grateful to them,” he says. “Democracy functions best when more citizens participate.”

This article was adapted from Greater Good, the online magazine of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, one of Mindful’s partners. View the original article.

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Friday, 2 November 2018

Worrier Pose – Finding Freedom from the Body of Fear (retreat talk)


While fear is a natural part of our make up, many of us suffering when the “on” button gets jammed. This talk looks at how our fears generate habitual patterns of physical tension, anxious thinking, emotions and behaviors; and how this constellation prevents us from inhabiting our full wisdom and love. We then explore two interrelated pathways of healing—unconditional presence, and resourcing, or cultivating access to safety and belonging (from the 2018 IMCW Fall Retreat).

How
did the rose
ever open its heart
and give to this world all of its beauty?
It felt the encouragement of light against its being,
otherwise we all remain too
frightened.

Hafiz
– Version by Daniel Ladinsky
From Love Poems from God

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It’s Ok Not To Be in the Moment

Thursday, 1 November 2018

Retreat Meditation: Loving Kindness – Awakening and Expressing Our Heart (36:50 min.)


This short talk and guided meditation remind us that we each have the capacity to awaken our hearts. We explore together the lovingkindness (metta) meditation, and emphasize holding our own being and dear ones with a tender, open and loving presence (from the IMCW 2018 Fall Retreat).

Free download of Tara’s 10 min meditation:
“Mindful Breathing: Finding Calm and Ease”
when you join her email list.

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