Anger is natural, intelligent and necessary for surviving and flourishing. Yet when we are hooked by anger, it causes great personal and collective suffering. This talk explores how to transform patterns of reactivity by bringing a mindful and compassionate attention to the unmet needs that underlie angry reactivity. When we learn how to pause and connect honestly with our inner experience, we are then able to respond to others from our full intelligence and heart (a favorite from the archives).
“Getting angry with another person is like throwing hot coals with bare hands: both people get burned.” Buddha
“… When we find ourselves in an aggressive relationship, we need to set clear boundaries. The kindest thing we can do for everyone concerned is to know when to say ‘enough.’ Many people use Buddhist ideals to justify self-debasement. In the name of not shutting our heart we let people walk all over us. It is said that in order not to break our vow of compassion we have to learn when to stop aggression and draw the line. There are times when the only way to bring down barriers is to set boundaries.”
Pema Chödron (from: The Places That Scare You)
Also quoted:
“When the gentleness between you hardens
And you fall out of your belonging with each other,
May the depths you have reached hold you still.”
For Love in a Time of Conflict. ~ John O’Donohue
NOTE: Video is closed captioned.
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